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The Formula

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by ghettoastronaut, Feb 1, 2013.

  1. NatCH

    NatCH
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    Based on her frequent use of the word "willing" in the article, I think what she means is that he must cheerfully agree to any and all activities that SHE suggests, while not suggesting much of anything of his own.
     
  2. VanillaGorilla

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    I blame Carrie Bradshaw and her band of whores.
     
  3. shimmered

    shimmered
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    Welcome to Jewish husband-ry. She wants a guy just Jewish enough to understand that she's the nagging, henpecking, control freak, demanding, JAP boss.


    I want to hit this woman. Hard and repeatedly. And if she's looking for a Jewish husband who doesn't have a batshit crazy mother....Fucking good goddamned luck on THAT.

    The Husband is damn near a perfect complement to my personality in almost every way, and I am to his, but his being the non-Jewish daughter in law of his mother is enough to drive me bonkers.
     
  4. MoreCowbell

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    [​IMG]
     
  5. Parker

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    Somewhere 'Sack just came and has no explanation why...
     
  6. amjoyce

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    Hi, I don't think I have formerly introduced myself...
     
  7. McSmallstuff

    McSmallstuff
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    His name is Humpty
    Pronounced with an umpty
    And joyce...oh how he'd love to funk thee.
     
  8. Omegaham

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    1. Weighs less than me. I have zero problems with a woman with some extra pounds, but I'm close to 200. If you're a woman and weigh even close to me, you're either a massive she-hulk or obese.

    2. Relatively intelligent. You don't have to be a genius, but if I feel like I'm getting dumber because I have to repeatedly reduce myself to your level, I'm not going to be attracted to you.

    3. Emotionally independent. If you're clinging to me and expecting me to give constant validation about how much I love you and how much I care, it's not going to work.

    Everything else is negotiable.
     
  9. Superfantastic

    Superfantastic
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    Physical attraction goes without saying. I suppose I have a preferred type (petite, brown/black hair, dark/tanned skin), but I'm attracted to most girls, and the majority of my dating history doesn't reflect my preferred type, so whatevs. As long as she makes my pants tight.

    1. Humour. This is probably the biggest must, as in she must be willing and able to laugh at everything, especially herself. She doesn't have to be particularly funny, although the funnier the better, just able to recognize and appreciate all types of funny. If she's not into South Park as much as I am, that's fine too, but she has to get a kick out of it once in a while, and recognize the brilliance of it.

    2. Books. I could definitely stand to read more, so I'm not asking for a hard core book worm/intellectual, but she has to...read, at least, have a couple all-time favourite books/authors, and go through a few books per year.

    3. Sports. An actual athlete would be nice, but all I'd want is a girl who thoroughly enjoys throwing a ball/frisbee around, likes the atmosphere of going to a sporting event, and cheers along with me during a televised game, instead of sitting there rolling her eyes.

    4. Religion. She can't be religious, at least not in the sense that she thinks one of the religions is actually true. Doubt this would be a problem, since I've only met one person in my adult life who was my age and actually religious, and it was a dude.

    5. Anal. Totally fine if she's not into full-out peen-in-ass fucking, just light anal play (on her only), and is generally adventurous in bed.

    Other'n that, not too picky, aside from obvious things like no fatties or psychos.
     
  10. Cult

    Cult
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    I guess I have a list now that I think about it, but most of the things are just shit you'd expect from functioning adults, like not being stupid, not being a complete slob, share my sense of humor, don't be a cheating whore etc etc and a bunch of other shit that isn't worth listing. I guess I've only got 3 really big things.

    1.) Take good care of your body. I will never be fat or out of shape as long as I have a choice in what I eat and the ability to exercise in some capacity. Granted I don't want a female bodybuilder or someone who is holier than thou about their diet like a vegan or most paleo-eaters I've met, just take care of yourself.

    2.) Be your own person.

    a. Job. Either be a full time student (preferably have a part time job on the side) so you can pursue a full time job or have a full time job. You don't have to be wealthy or have aspirations to be a CEO or an astronaut, just do something you enjoy. I work 60 hours a week usually and take 12 credit hours per semester (mostly online easy classes admittedly) so I expect someone who is similarly driven.

    b. Hobbies. Do shit that you like to do, I don't necessarily have to be a part of it. I don't need or want to spend every free moment with you. Common interests are great, but sometimes so is alone time.

    3.) Don't be Amy Webb.
     
  11. Danger Boy

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    So if she has a big ol' penis where her clit should be, you're saying that you'd be willing to let that one slide?
     
  12. Pink Candy

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    We're not gonna get to square one if I'm not initially attracted. I have a type - blue eyes, dark hair. And glasses. A boy with dark hair, blue eyes and glasses is my kryptonite.

    After the initial "Ooh, who's that", what's important has never changed.

    Confidence (not arrogance)
    Intelligence (I like books, I hope you do too)
    Respect
    Love sex and be good at it
    Drive (not the vroom vroom kind)
    Compassion (in that "It's okay you're crying for no reason, I know you're a hormonal mess, so let's get ice cream and play Mario Kart" kind of way)

    My ex-husband was overweight, didn't really bother me. Overweight, not obese. The boyfriend is a little on the hefty side, although he's lost about 25 pounds. Doesn't bother me either way. I love a guy that's fit and in shape, but I like 'em in all sizes. Although I do like a guy that's much taller than me. Makes my little ass feel all protected and shit.

    And, must love animals. I can't be with a man that's all "Hate dogs, hate cats." Well, fuck you too.
     
  13. toddamus

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    I don't have standards (must haves), I have parameters. Sounds much better and women are much less likely to criticize when you state what you like and what you don't.
     
  14. NotaPharmacist

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    This always reminds me of my favorite rebuttal, from a fairly devout Catholic: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/421609/november-28-2012/the-word---sisters-are-doing-it-to-themselves" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colber ... themselves</a>
     
  15. Omegaham

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    See what I bolded. I consider "having a penis" and "woman" to be mutually exclusive.
     
  16. Nom Chompsky

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    Obligatory "I don't."

    Let's not make this a clusterfuck though.