Today I got a call around lunchtime - blocked number. I pick it up and am caught off-guard. It is my most recent ex-girlfriend, who unceremoniously dumped me a couple years ago. We went out for about four years. After I helped her resolve many issues in her life, she decided that she no longer needed a "boring and responsible" boyfriend-slash-therapist. She dumped me, kept the dog, and married some EuroDude she worked with in an ultra-low-responsibility work-abroad job. He's the opposite of me - fun and not at all responsible. That worked out great until they had to do things like pay bills or take care of anything, really. I guess I don't look so bad anymore. So she is looking for someone to talk to about these problems, and to see if I'm still available. No on both counts - I'm in an ecstatically happy relationship with somebody else now, and have been for more than a year. I'm flattered that she would consider dumping her husband for me, but really that ship sailed a LONG time ago. In related news, a friend of mine who just broke up with his toxic long-distance fiancee was recently back home visiting family and getting his stuff back from her. After he did that, she waited a day, chased him down, and they had - and I quote - "awesome breakup sex, yo." Not smart, in my humble opinion, but what are you gonna do? His life. She swears she was on birth control. Uh huh. Hope they pick a nice name for the kid. FOCUS: How are your relationships with your ex(es)? Do you still drive by on your anniversary and burn a picture of a penis into his/her lawn with acid? Do you have secret trysts away from the prying eyes of your now-current significant others? Did you turn an ex into an ex-with-benefits? Did you reconnect with your high school ex at a reunion?