I just came back from my friend's place. He's a perpetually single dad with an aversion to relationships and looooooooves to go drinking on friday and saturday nights. When I came to his place tonight, I could help noticing that his giant wooden coffee table was smashed almost directly in half. Apparently he came home wasted, and for no reason dropped a Macho Man Randy Savage elbow through the table at some point. I asked him WHY he would do such a thing espeically to his own furninture and of course his answer is "Dunno, I was wasted. Shit happens." Focus: Things we have destroyed while drunk.
I ate three ice cream cones last night. The destruction of my waistline is my tasty, drunken mission apparently. Bump and roll (because of the fat, you know?)
I was a groomsmen in a friends wedding. I got blitzed at the grooms dinner and ended up peeing in the hotel air conditioner. My roommate said I got up, walked to the air conditioner, pulled the curtain around me and just starting peeing. He asked what I was doing and I said something along the lines of "Dude, I'm in the bathroom." Is it a bad thing that my drunken escapades are now known as fleafly stories.
Well, first of all, I was hammered . . . Focus: Booze makes us do some messed-up stuff. Share your tales. So, this is a thread about what stupid shit we have done while drunk? Because, I feel like I am not alone in being able to write pages and pages about that. For starters, I would need to break it into categories: 1. I should not have been driving, but 2. Things I broke a. mine b. somebody else's c. institutional property 3. Girls I pissed off 4. Police officers a. fun times b. arrests 5. Things I stole 6. Trespassing 7. Hospital visits 8. Sex a. regrettable b. high five! 9. Attending classes intoxicated And, then I should probably do categories after college.
I was walking back to my friend's house from a bar with a couple of buddies one night, when i decided to climb the upraised gate at a RR crossing. My weight caused the gate to lower (at which I was not surprised) but the gate on the opposite side of the tracks also lowered, the warning bells atrted ringing and the red lights started flashing (which did surprise me). And despite my trying to push the gate back up, it remained activated, bells, lights and all, until the next morning when RR maintenence came to fix it, while everyone in that neighborhood had to drive a half mile out of their way to get anywhere.