The Death of the Toy Store

This debate makes my head hurts because it never comes from people from the middle. I've had a Sega, Playstation, and PS2. I also play the Saxophone, Skateboarded, had supersoaker fights, back-yardsports and jumped bikes off shoddily made ramps.

What VI and D26 have posted have HUGE impacts on what is going on with kids being outside. Also while I worked at Best Buy, ever go to the children's DVD section? The only section that isn't shrinking? Parents love those DVDs because as many of them have said, "$19.99 Babysitters, these things are godsends." Keeps them in the house, but keeps them busy. They know where their kids are "in front of the TV." Also, when "we" were kids, children's cartoons sucked except for the 5-10 that are in their millionth iteration now. There wasn't a 24 hour Nick, Disney Channel, or Cartoon Network.

It comes down to the balance of parents say "Hey get your ass outside." I went outside and played in the alley (nicely paved alleys) or my friends yards. Street lights came on, parents yelled out the back porch and we came in. This is 10 minutes north of Wrigley Field in Chicago. Then I'd play some video games while dinner was cooking or after. And bed.

Also, toy quality has gotten shittier. That pretty much sums up the entire conversation. Well that and we didn't have all these goddamn card games based on cartoons or cartoons based on card games. Tonka Trunks were metal back in the day. Steel. Remember the old Star Wars toys? A 5 year old could barely pick those fuckers up now.

 

I didn't have video games when I was a kid. Still don't, in fact. I'll let you be the judge of how that turned out.

 

I want to say "I'm going to be the kind of parent who only buys toys that stimulate imagination and my kids are going to play outside all the time, only playing video games when it rains and only watching TV once the streetlights come on" But I know I'll probably give in and let my kids play with the toys their friends play with so they are not social outcasts at 6. I'm gonna try really hard to be that parent in quotes.

 

To continue on VI's point.

When my dad was a kid, he could go down to the local park and there would be a pickup baseball game going on pretty much everyone weekend. You grab your glove and you go.

When I was a kid, baseball outside of the organized leagues was a pipe dream, you'd never get the kids you needed. But you could, with a little effort and some time on the phone, wrangle together enough for a pickup football game.

The next generation? Probably not even that.

It's not an issue of the fat lazy kids who stay inside all day, it's an issue of the opportunities available to them outside. When kids lives and social circles are so structured and isolated, the notion of these larger scale "kid societies" that precipitated all these outdoor activities, is dead.

 

There are a few points I want to make.

First, people who say "I grew up without video games" or "I never played video games and I turned out fine" are missing the point. Video games, tablets, and smart phones (remember, this started as being about the iPad) are becoming more and more prolific. By the time my kid reaches school age, I'd venture to guess many of their friends will have phones. Many of them may even have smart phones (android, iPhone) by the time they reach 4th grade. Many of those same kids may have iPads or other tablets. I'd also guess that the majority of those homes will have at least one video game system in them.

Saying "I grew up without video games" is a moot point, because you grew up in an era when video games weren't as prolific as they are now. Many consoles are more than just 'video game systems.' They're entertainment systems. My PS3 is a blu-ray player and streams Netflix and Hulu. As a result, my wife (who has never played a video game in her life) uses it as much as I do. In ten years, a kid saying they don't have a smart phone/tablet/video game console will be akin to a kid today saying "I don't own a computer," or a kid ten years ago saying "we don't own a TV."

Second, it is easy to sit back as parents and tell our kids to ignore what their friends are saying, and send the kid on their way. Those people may not remember what it was like to be a kid. When I would complain about being made fun of or bullied, I was told "it doesn't matter what those kids think, don't worry about them." That didn't magically make me stop worrying about them. I was still a kid that had to deal with that shit on a daily basis. The reality is that many kids who are not up to date with the newest technology are going to be made fun of by their peers. This can range from friendly ball-busting from friends to being flat out ostracized, but it will happen. Kids will find any difference they can, hone in on it, and pick at it, because that is what kids do. Telling your kid "no TV, no computer, no video games, ignore what everyone else says because their opinion doesn't matter," won't make your kid NOT have to face their peers the next day at school, it will paint a target on them that says "this is why I am different, make fun of me for it."

And again, I realize it is possible for those kids to grow up and end up totally normal. They could end up the star basketball player or the star football player, sure. It is also possible they end up being the weird kid that gets made fun of all day because they have zero social skills and can't converse with their peers about anything because everything their peers are into is banned at their house.

That being said, I'm not saying raise your kids to give in to peer pressure, or buy your kids stuff so they won't be made fun of. If my kid came home and demanded a new car because all her friends were getting new cars, I'd laugh at her. However, if she said she really wanted a tablet because all her friends had them, and she was being made fun of for being behind the times, it'd be hard for me not to get something like that for her for a birthday or Christmas (it would have to be for a special occasion). Again, though, I would stress moderation. Whatever I got her would have parental controls on it, so I'd know what she is playing, who she is calling, or what she is doing with it. I'd also stress that it is something that can be useful, be it as an educational tool or for organization or communication, and yes, even as entertainment.

The point I'm trying to make is simple: Parents who say "my kids will never play with those stupid video games!" are almost as bad as parents who park their kids in front of a TV and let the TV babysit. They're denying your kid basic experiences that EVERY OTHER KID is experiencing, because they've got this black-and-white view that it is all bad. It isn't, it is more likely that those parents just don't want to actually monitor what your kids are playing/watching/doing with those devices, and it is easier to shove them out the door and say "go play" than to make sure they're not playing violent games or doing some other silly thing with those devices. They justify it by claiming that kids today are lazier and fatter than we were as kids, and they'll compare their own childhoods to their children's; but again, that is comparing apples and oranges. We grew up in a much different time than our kids will, and hoping that our kids will have the same experiences we had is silly when they live in a much more technologically advanced world than we did.

Moderation is the key. Let your kids play some video games, and watch what they're playing if you don't want them playing the newest Grand Theft Auto game. Then, after they've played inside for a bit, shove them out the door and make them play outside for a bit. But don't deny them the experiences that all of their peers are getting because of some misguided moral superiority about how playing outside is so amazing.

 

I completely agree that moderation is the key. I had a Nintendo. I loved my Nintendo. I would have have fought the entire Nazi army alone and bare handed had they threatened my Nintendo. I also loved my Disney afternoon after school, and my Saturday morning cartoons.

But I got only the Disney afternoon after school, and that was it for the days television. Then I could go outside and or read a book if I was bored. I got maybe a couple of hours throughout the weekend of video games. Then once again, if I was bored, outside I went. As I have said before my mother has often said "Get your behinds out of my house, and don't come back until the street lights come on." Hopefully that is the tact I will be able to take when my kids get older.

However, I will say there is a large obstacle facing the parents of today. Other kids don't play outside. Whether it's parents concerned for the safety of their child, or the stereo typical fat kid that wont go outside, you don't see a whole lot of kids running around anymore. And from what I've seen even the groups that are together outside are in transition from one friends house to another. It seems hanging out in parks, or just riding bikes are now activities for the "bad element." And let's be honest most of the great things about a good majority of outside activities came from other kids. Hell there was nothing worse than a beautiful summer day when you couldn't find ANY of your friends. I remember riding my bike for what felt like hours looking for anyone to hang out with. These days those rides seem like they would be far more frequent. I know many parents who don't want their kids playing video games all of the time, but they also feel bad sending them out to play by themselves.

So I don't think the problem is "send YOUR kid outside." I think socially we need to find a way to get OUR kids outside. I think things like play 60 and other active outside programs are a great idea. But I mourn for the days when such programs would seem unnecessary and redundant.

 

I'm getting my kids the same thing I've gotten them for the past 10 years: a renewed subscription to the National Review.

 

You must really hate your kids.