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The Beard Thread

Discussion in 'Permanent Threads' started by Beefy Phil, Feb 28, 2010.

  1. Beefy Phil

    Beefy Phil
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    My recent unemployment has allowed me to pursue something I've wanted to do for a couple years: I am attempting to grow a beard. I say "attempt" because I've never tried before, and I have no idea if it's something I'm capable doing without looking like I glued pubes to my face. I'm a little more than 2 weeks into the process, and only now has the constant itching started to subside. My research instructed me not to shave at all for the first 4 weeks, so right now, I look like an asshole hipster with a hairy neck. It had better be worth it.

    Focus: Gentlemen, do you have a beard/mustache/muttonchops, etc.? How do you trim it? Is it well received in your social circle? Ladies, what is your opinion of bearded men? Is it distinguished or dirty? Discuss all things beard-related.
     
  2. Blue Dog

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    I suck at beards. If I don't shave my chicken-shit facial fuzz every couple of days, it looks like somebody sprayed me with PAM and then beat me the face with a pillow case full of dryer lint.

    Being baby-faced sucks.
     
  3. Maltob14

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    I'm always between a light beard and perma-stubble. I don't shave but every two or three days I go over it with a beard trimmer. It's weird when I don't have the sand paper feel on my face. It's both a blessing and a curse because on one hand I can grow a bad ass non-patchy beard but I have to shave/trim often. Since my early teens.

    As for your beard, a) Don't forget to wash that shit every day b) Comb it. Even when its short. If it's patchy I don't have any advice.
     
  4. Drake

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    I rock a goatee. No, I am not a relief pitcher. I am bald, and without something to break up the contours of my face, it looks like someone stuck a flesh colored balloon on my neck and drew eyes on it.

    [​IMG]
     
  5. no use for a name

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    I constantly have stubble as my job permits it, my skin doesn't agree with being shaven clean with a razor, and the old lady likes it as well.

    I would love to grow a beard, but the sides of my moustache don't connect with the hair on my cheeks, and I also have a large gap in the middle of my moustache. For the first time since college, I had about 5 weeks of a beard going until a couple of days ago, but I started getting frustrated that it just wasn't a full beard, no matter how badly I wanted it to be. So even though the neck and cheeks are thick and full, it just wasn't complete without connecting to the moustache IMO. I was also meeting the girlfriends extended family for the first time, and didn't want to do so with a straggling in process beard.

    It's also very annoying to hear a comment about it at work, or even in my social life, whenever I haven't seen somebody in a couple weeks. "Hey man, whatcha growin a beard or something, lolz?" "Um...yea, I guess. Leave me alone."

    If I try it again, I'm going need a couple weeks to grow a real nice thick stubble, and then take about two weeks off to travel or something and then return with a glorious and royal beard.

    And FWIW, my girlfriend dug the beard, and didn't care whether or not I shaved to meet her family, but most all my other female friends say I look much better with just my day or two old stubble.
     
  6. Bourbondownthehouse

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    I used to have pretty big ass sideburns. Now because of work I have to shave at the earlobe and my burns can no longer be flared. Mine were slightly bigger than these:[​IMG]

    They were glorious. Or at least I thought so. Many of my female friends badgered me constantly about shaving. My girlfriend at the time HATED them, and was thrilled when I started my job. Recently I was off work for 3 weeks, and I attempted to grow them back out. The amount of time I had wasn't enough to do chops justice. One day though the chops will return in all of their white trash glory.
     
  7. effinshenanigans

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    Fuck anybody who can grow a proper beard. My facial hair looks like Joe Dirt's. When I went hunting, I let it grow out of sheer morbid curiousity and when I got home my girlfriend just looked at me a laughed. It looked like someone had filled a shotgun with hair, set the blast to "Inbred Yolkle," and shot me in the face.
     
  8. mya

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    I don't have a beard (thankfully) but would really like this thread to turn into a post a picture of your beard thread.

    A picture is worth a thousand words, come on guys.
     
  9. PIMPTRESS

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    I concur.

    Focus: I don't have a beard.
     
  10. jennitalia

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    I third this. This would be the equivalent of a boobie/booty thread for me.

    I also do not have a beard.
     
  11. Fernanthonies

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    I have this same damned problem and it really pisses me off. I'm also only 1/8th Portuguese but I still get the full on Mexi-stash too. Of course, I've never really let it grow out too much and my dad can also rock a pretty serious beard, so maybe some day...some day.

    As for what I usually do, its almost always the slight stubble. I just keep my neck clean and then go over the face with a trimmer set to level 1.

    I'm tempted to start things rolling with a picture of what I've got, but I'm not so sure about putting my face up for the whole internet to see.
     
  12. Beefy Phil

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    This concerns me. Not that your girlfriend might hate my beard, the job thing. If (big, big if) I actually manage to land an interview anytime soon, I'm going to have to make a decision about this thing. There are plenty of stigmas that come with being bearded. Do we have HR/hiring managers here who can offer their opinion on a bearded interviewee? Does it matter to you if the guy is rocking facebush, even if it's well-trimmed?
     
  13. MoreCowbell

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    Beard. I've been rocking it for the greater part of 18 months or so now. Ignoring earlier, feebler attempts, it began as a run-up to going as The Dude for Halloween 2008. Every female friend I had (including the girl I was dating at the time) was adamantly opposed to the beard, until they saw it and had to admit it looked at least decent.

    I then realized
    a) I'm lazy
    b) it actually somewhat suits me
    c) it makes me look a year or two older, whereas unshaven I looked a year or two younger.

    I shaven more often as I've grown into looking my age, but I usually am rockin' a week or two's beard at least, due to sloth and the inherent testosterone-fueled awesomeness of beard.

    Plus, I ain't that handsome to begin with, ya know?

    The consensus is shave it. While a well-trimmed beard has come into fashion lately, even in business (see, say, Ben Bernanke for example), it's a risk not worth taking.

    Then again, who wants to work for anti-beard bigots?
     
  14. CharlesJohnson

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    [​IMG]

    I'm sorry, I don't think anyone else has mustache power. My friends love it, but they don't love it. They think I'm being ironic, when it's just really fucking old timey dapper and I can hang my keys off it. I've got a tiny mustache comb and I wax the tips so they curl. All I need is a diamond tipped cane.

    Cons: humidity melts the wax, sipping beer then spraying everyone like a walrus

    Pros: sipping beer then spraying everyone like a walrus, mustache rides, guaranteed nobody else outside of a history book has this in my town.

    Since I have no chin I'm always rocking some kind of beard. If I'm going into an interview, though, I'll grow out a full one or a full goatee as it seems more "office appropriate." Whatever the fuck that means. Probably boring.
     
  15. ghettoastronaut

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    I can grow facial hair, but a beard of any kind is right out of the question. My follicle density is too low to be respectable. Oh, that, and my job isn't so hot on facial hair. Like, at all.

    Best facial hair I ever saw? At a conference, I saw a guy go from a full beard in the morning, to mutton chops with a van-dyke, to a van dye, to one of those creepy redneck drooping moustaches, to a moustache, to completely shaved over the course of the day/night. He was wearing a wine-stained wife beater by the time he got to the redneck facial hair.
     
  16. voltronman

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    I am Greek and Italian. I sprout hair all over my body. I have been asked by my wife "Have you shaved today" 3 hours after I shaved. I hate it. I can grow a beard so fast it is ridiculous, but I won't, because I look like a dope.
     
  17. amjoyce

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    [​IMG]

    I have recently shaved, but I grew it out for 2 weeks for my Halloween costume last year where I went as William Wallace. About 2 weeks after this picture it looked its best and was quite full but sadly I don't have many pictures.
     
  18. Evildreams

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    Like voltronman I can grow a beard quite quickly, I've never had a real beard, however three years ago I tried growing a beard, for the first two weeks it was all okay. However as the second week started, so did the crazy itching. I ignored the itching for two days, until I had no choice but to shave, for my sanity's sake.

    Also, people used to stare at me, especially on the bus, and my mum used to say that I look like like a homeless guy.
     
  19. Kubla Kahn

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    I could disparage my patchy pube face but I'd like to think it's more like this goalie Ryan Miller's, since he seems to be all the rage these days. I tried growing a Riker beard last year hoping the style would work around the unhaired patches but it didn't. I like it semi scuffy but enjoy a clean shave.
     
  20. MoreCowbell

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    Because a lovely board member asked me too.

    Not exactly Bunyan-esque, but I also shaved only two weeks ago. So it is what it is.
     

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