What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? N/A Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No. Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? Maybe if I was single Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? No. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. Can't think of anything Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) I stole a Police Parking Only sign from city hall.... Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? 6Gig or so How long was your longest dryspell? Couple months Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? Nope How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 28 and I did If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? Super Healing What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? The day I was told my mom had cancer Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Thankfully no If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Ryan Reynolds What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? Nothing more than rug burn What was your absolute worst sexual experience? My first time What is the moment you wish you could forget most? Any moment involving me telling someone I was a pathetic virgin Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Susan Boyle What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? ?? If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Cheese. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? I've currently been free of caffeine and tobacco for over a month so either of those If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? Not a chance What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? I'm at work so my phone Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. shimmered Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. shimmered/ shegirl / tweetybird What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? 5 You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? My mom so I can actually get to know her Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? My Keyboard, and only a little What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? I can't think of any How old are you? 30 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? 5 Months Who is the oldest Mod? Nettdata If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? Why aren't you living there?
I usually hate these sort of things, but fuck if I have anything better to do right now. What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? About a few weeks. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No. Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? Depends on how good the stock tip is. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? No. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. A fuzzy handcuffs-and-blindfold combo kit my ex-girlfriend and I bought. For some reason, I still have it. And before you laugh: that shit rocks. Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) Does anal sex in a red state count? No? Never mind, then. Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? Oh Jesus. I'd say about 300GB. In my defense, it was always the high-quality, 720p shit that took up way too much space relative to runtime. How long was your longest dryspell? After my first girlfriend in high school, about 1 year and 3 months. I wish I was kidding. The best part: it was with the same girl. *facepalm* Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? No way. Even I have limits. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 18. Does the Pope shit in the woods? If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? The ability to detect when females are on "that time" so that I know to stay the fuck away for a few days. What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? Unfortunately, about a month before my first dog died. He was a 12-year-old Golden Retriever/Chow, on the losing end of cancer and arthritis, and wasn't the dog I remembered from a couple years ago (thank you, military life). I gave him a hug when I saw him, and cried like a bitch in the process. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Ugh. Once, when I was 10. And missionary. MOTHERFUCK I CAN STILL REMEMBER!!! WHO THE HELL HAS SEX AT 2 IN THE AFTERNOON WITH KIDS IN THE HOUSE?!? If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? I have no idea. I suppose Mark Wahlberg, so I could brag to my female friends. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? Leather driver's seat of a Ford Focus = giant scabs on both knees a few days later. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? The one where she said "I love you" at the end. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? That thing above about my parents. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Margaret Thatcher What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? LOL WUT If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Butter. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? Tobacco, since I don't touch it anyway. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? Jesus Christ, you people are weird. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? The Snuggle Bear I've owned since the day I was born Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. Hotwheelz. Wait, we have to be honest with these things? Fine. ...Hotwheelz. Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. Someone with nice tits (PIMPTRESS?) / someone with lots of money (Nettdata?) / whoever asked about walking in on my parents What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? 3? I guess? You may be surprised to find that I don't keep track. You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? Osama Bin Laden: "Okay, now it's my turn! Close your eyes and count to 1,000!" Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? My keyboard? Is this a serious question? What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? Honestly, there were none. How old are you? *This many* How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? You mean he's not already there? Who is the oldest Mod? Frylock's a wizard, for fuck's sake! If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? On my own, private island, Cast Away-style. Only with basic electricity, better tools, and some means of communication with the outside world (just in case). Why? Peace of mind. I'd do nothing but fish, grow pot, and read cool books I brought with me. Why aren't you living there? 'Infeasible' would be an understatement. New question: You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? About a week. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? Nope. Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? If you mean something other than cook, then no. Also, if you mean cook, no. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? Does an orgasm count as "something else?" What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. Condoms. Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) Bon fire in a government owned wooded lot with too much booze and wind. Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? None. How long was your longest dryspell? Can I just say more than a year and leave it at that? Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? Nope. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 21 and it sucked. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? The ability to travel back in time 30 seconds. I like the idea of a limited super power that requires some creativity to use, something too powerful would make life dull. What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? I woke up in the middle of the night to find myself shitting the bed (my girlfriend was in ...the bed, not the shit). Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? I think last Thursday morning, actually. Big-spoon small-spoon style. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Tim Gunn, because I know he'd say really nice things to me. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? Apparently you can get chafing from a BJ. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? Nothing really comes to mind, just average mediocrity. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? I drink heavily and avoid thinking about the past, so I'm pretty sure I've already forgotten whatever it would be. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Meryl Streep at her current age. What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? Does creationism count? I'm a deist, so I do actually believe in intelligent design. If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Cheese, there's plenty of other oils. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? Booze. For as much as I love to drink, I could really use a month off and know I wouldn't do it willingly. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? "If someone told you..." Uh...no, I'm not that gullible. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? My laptop, for all the obvious reasons. Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. I fuck me two or three times a day. Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. Chater/Frylock/Nettdata What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? 3. You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? I assume I can't use this for myself after I die, so I'll say Greg Giraldo. I think he'd provide some amusement without fucking up the space-time continuum. Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? I now have a bacon mustache, and I am so fucking awesome. What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? It, and I was probably like 5 or 6. How old are you? 26 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? You mean an Alabama Slammer? That shit tastes like, well, shit. Who is the oldest Mod? Those fries look kinda stale. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? The White House lawn, just for shits and giggles. Why aren't you living there? "Security concerns." You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Myself, obviously. But if I had to pick one of the others, Michael Bay. No one would want revenge; the other two have die-hard fans. New question: If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? 10 weeks exactly Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No (but quite nearly) Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? Sure. I'd slip her the tip in exchange for some cooking tips. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? No. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. I don't think I own anything particularly kinky. I almost bought a leather padded semi-choke collar for my last girlfriend. Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) More nights spent driving hammered drunk than radioactive Japanese kids can count their hands and feet Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? Less than a gig. I didn't have my own personal computer until fall 2006, and I wasn't going to let my parents find that shit on accident. How long was your longest dryspell? 10 weeks exactly. Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? Nope. Not yet at least How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 22. For fucks sake of course I enjoyed it. Took me long enough to cash in my v-card, no way I wasn't going to enjoy it. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? Teleportation. There's so many things I want to do in so many different places, it would save me tons of dough. What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? (Warning: hippie shit about to ensue) I went to see my (now) favorite band their festival in Lake Placid, NY in 2007. During their set I had a (sober) transcendental moment during which i realized that the people i went to high school with meant shit to my life and that there was a whole world out there populated with people who can come together and have an amazing time, while having next to nothing in common. I was never popular in high school, so finding myself in an environment where I could relax and not worry what people thought about me was great. I lived a bit of a sheltered life before that. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Thank god no If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Edward Norton circa American History X What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? Awkward positioning in the back of a Jeep aggravated an old Sciatica condition. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? A morbidly fat girl. As in can't-stay-hard fat. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? Watching a car hit one of my cats out front of my house, minutes before leaving for a middle school dance. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Who said anything about respecting women? (I kid, I kid) What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? I don't believe in much of it, but I think it'd be cool if we proved ghosts exist. If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Cheese. Hands down. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? Booze. I don't drink nearly as much as I used to, so it wouldn't be too bad. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? If I never had to talk about it. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? I'm in a library at school, so probably my smart phone Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. taste_my_rainbow Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. pimptress/dcc/'sack What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? 7. I was pretty bored that day You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? My grandfather. He died in a hospital in Florida while I was in NY. I never got a chance to say goodbye. Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? A desk. Unfucked, cause I have lots of bacon now. What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? I wasn't afraid to watch any movie. Afterwards, however, is a different story. How old are you? 22 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? How long until he wants to do something thuper-thpecial for son again? Who is the oldest Mod? Shegirl won't post her tits cause she's really 63. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? Somewhere where the girls come easy (pun intended) and the drugs are cheap Why aren't you living there? Because I'm a student delivering pizza to make ends meet You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Beck. Waste of oxygen and carbon. new question: How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? Approximately 40 minutes. 20 minutes for her to drive me from her sister's house to mine, then maybe 20 minutes into a movie, (it was American Psycho, such a panty melter). Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? Amazingly, I have not. Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? Hells yeah. I bet she has specially embroidered condoms and ass slappin' hand creams. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? Oh how I did try. If I just fucked my fuck buddy for two more months, she would have got me some sweet, expensive, aviator sunglasses for my birthday. But her whorishness and it's effect on my sense of self-worth drove me to call it off in a drunken phone call. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. My hard drive should be a registered sex offender. Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) That 15 year old in Cancun. Not really, but it would be funnier than the real answer, which is smoking weed / drunken driving. Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? None, I was paranoid and had a strict policy of "use and delete." How long was your longest dryspell? Ongoing since I moved back from college at the end of January. Thanks for reminding me. Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? No, but I have fucked a girl who, after, told me she was an escort. I felt like a real bargain hunter that night because I didn't even have to pay for drinks, (thanks ladies night)! How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 19, and it was unpleasant for all concerned. Of course I had no idea what to do, was wearing a condom, and this girl was so loose my hand accidentally slipped inside of her when I was uh, getting her warmed up. After a while I simply declared myself the winner and got off of her. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? Mind control. I'd end all wars, dissolve gangs, bring flowers and rainbows and happiness to the world, etc. Plus I wouldn't have to pay for shit at the bar, skip the line at the club, and I could make the Falwell ministries produce and star in a hit gay porn series. What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? In my 2nd amateur fight, seeing an opening and side-kicking this guy right in the chest. He said "ah son of a bitch!" and I felt awesome. Also I lost that fight. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Thanks to easy-going divorce laws, I've never even seen my father! If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Gordon Ramsey, for the great food after. I'll probably learn some fucked up dirty talk, too. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? One time in high school, I was probably 16 I went up to Frostburg State for some gigantic field party. This older college chick took advantage of my inexperience and desperation for any female sexual contact and gave me a series of gigantic hickies. I looked like I had re vitiligo and I was mocked by staff and student alike for almost a week. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? As I start to fuck this pretty hot half indian, (feather) chick, I begin to get flustered. She is real hot, and has the tightest, best, greatest pussy I've ever been in, so this is about to be a real short ride. I have to stop and stammer some excuse about needing a condom. After I grab one things are going better, but then she says she's on the pill and I don't need one, and she liked it better when it was off so I take it off and am in trouble again. I felt like Larry David, going back and forth, making excuses, fumbling, while establishing no rhythm at all. Then I bust, the whole session lasts less than 10 or 15 minutes. I never hear from her again and I commit seppuku the next day. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? The one where I wake up from a blackout and slam my car into a guard rail. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. The fact that I can't name ONE doesn't make me feel intolerant or gender-biased, just ignorant. What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? Biocentrism If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Cheese is the taste that pleases. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? Oxygen. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? Can I kill him after? 100K to give the kiss of death is cool. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? Robert Greene's 33 Strategies of War Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. Nice Jerk Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. Fuck <a class="postlink-local" href="http://www.theidiotboard.com/viewtopic.php?p=99109#p99109" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">viewtopic.php?p=99109#p99109</a> Marry <a class="postlink-local" href="http://www.theidiotboard.com/viewtopic.php?p=40916#p40916" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">viewtopic.php?p=40916#p40916</a> Kill Chater, and take his place at the top of the food chain. What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? 6-8. Not proud, but when you get your own computer in high school... You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? Adam Smith. To bring up to speed on all the economic theories and models since his time, let him analyze data and metrics, hear his thoughts, then kill him and become a brilliant economic advisor. Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? k What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? As a kid, I always thought scary movies were stupid. How old are you? 25 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? Never again, he's cured! Who is the oldest Mod? ur mom lol! If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? I'd like to live in Australia for a bit. I've heard it's a laid-back place, has hot girls, interesting wildlife, and tons of farmland so I bet I could find meat and products from grass-fed animals. Why aren't you living there? I'm broke and have done zero research about moving/living there. You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? I'd go with Bay also. At least Beck and Oprah encourage people to read. If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? I bet Q-Bert gives great head. How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? I've tried weed, but there is only room in my heart for thee, alcohol. New Questions: Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? About 8 hours, I had breakup sex with the ex and that night fucked a friend of one of her friends. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? nope Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? Nah, 35 is my limit. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? Nope, I just do sex for sex's sake. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. Nothing really, I have a cock ring but that's it. Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) Drunken driving, urinating on a court house, stealing road signs; nothing serious. Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? Roughly 8 on a seperate hard drive. How long was your longest dryspell? 18 months, I was living in Germany and just didn't care about pussy, then deployment came and tacked on another 12 months. Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? Yes, multiple times although it's been like five years. The last time I did it I paid $100 for a threesome with two gorgeous thai women. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 17, I fucked my best friend after she broke up with her boyfriend. It was pretty fun, and I managed to last longer than 2 minutes, it totally fucked our friendship though. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? The ability to read peoples' minds, I've always been interested in what's going through peoples' heads. What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? The first time I met an insurgent face to face in Iraq. Guy came from behind a corner about thirty yards away, I gunned the engine straight at him, he missed high and wide, I'm alive, he's dead. Seeing his eyes as he took aim, and the shakes afterward will forever be seared in my memory. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Yeah, I was about ten and walked in on my parents, mom was bent over, and dad was behind her wearing a yellow cleaning glove. I still have no fucking clue what they were doing. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? George Clooney, he's one good-looking dude. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? I had a girl bite me in the shoulder while she was coming, she literally drew blood and apologized profusely afterwards. Pretty cool What was your absolute worst sexual experience? I fucked a fat chick once, never again. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? Watching my ex cry when I told her I had cheated on her, she told me she loved me an balled her eyes out for two hours. There's definitely shittier experiences I've had, but they're valuable to me. That just made me feel like an asshole. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Uhhh, people respect celebrities? What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? Human cloning If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Cheese, there's so many varieties. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? Easy, tobacco, I don't even use that shit. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? Yeah, I could live comfortably on an island somewhere for a long time on 100 grand. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? My glasses, can't really see without them anymore. Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. I fuck Soonergal, she's a milf. Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. Fuck: Soonergal Marry: Mya Kill: Durbanite What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? pfff, prolly 6 when I was in highschool You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? Ghandi Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? My desk is made of bacon? What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? Scream, and I still haven't seen it. I hate scary movies. How old are you? 24 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? 3 months Who is the oldest Mod? Frylock? If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? I honestly have no idea, but anywhere with beautiful women, quite white sandy beaches, and sunlight 75% of the year sounds good. Why aren't you living there? Excellent question, although I will be for six weeks this summer. If i find a job there I might not come back. You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? I'd shoot Glenn Back, and club Oprah to death with the pistol If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? April from ninja turtles, I love hot redheads. How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? Weed, shrooms, molly, coke, and hash. I like coke and shrooms, weed makes me freak out. Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? My grandfather on my mother's side, guy is a piece of shit. Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? I admitted to having slept with hookers when I first came to college, what isn't looked down on in the military is apparently abhorrent to middle class white kids. New Questions: Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? A month Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? Absolutely Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? No but I've never had the opportunity either. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. Nothing all. Just lube. Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) Hit plastic reflector poles with my cousin's truck, driving drunk Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? None, I didn't get my own computer until I went to college in 2007. I was too afraid of getting caught. How long was your longest dryspell? 4 months Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? No How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 18. There was much more she could've done to make it more enjoyable but overall it was decent. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? Mind reading What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? Going to my first NHL game on December 31, 1996. My parents surprised me by pulling into the McNichols Arena parking lot and asked if I wanted to go to the game. I was completely blown away. Even though we sat in the nosebleeds, it was one of the best times I've ever had and one of the most memorable moments of my childhood. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? No If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Wee Man. If I'm having a gay experience I might as well make it more interesting. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? Dented a door with her head, bruised her ass What was your absolute worst sexual experience? Accidentally earning my red wings What is the moment you wish you could forget most? The phone call when I learned my grandfather died Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. I can't name one. Fuck. What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? None If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Cheese. I don't eat much butter anyway. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? Tobacco. I only dip when I'm studying late at night. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? No, we would never be able to look at each other the same way again. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? Plasma TV Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. shegirl Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. pimptress/bewildered/Durbanite What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? 6. Damn near wore a hole through my dick. You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? My grandfather. I have so many unanswered questions for him. Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? My cheek. Now I'm fucked because I have a damn bacon cheek but at least I have the sweet taste of bacon in my mouth. What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? The Exorcist. I was 17 when I finally saw it. How old are you? 22 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? Hopefully never but probably a few years. Who is the oldest Mod? Chater If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? To quote the late great Greg Giraldo, "A city where there's 28 people. 26 of whom are girls who will blow you for a nickel and the other two are dudes that give you nickels" Why aren't you living there? That place has yet to be found You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Glenn Beck. I don't want to be locked in a room with two other dudes. How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? Weed, MDMA, and salvia if it counts. I liked MDMA and salvia but I'm not too much of a fan of weed. If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? Princess Peach Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? Not currently. Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? I hope not but probably. Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? No. New Question: You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? 10 years Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? Twice, once junior year for underage consumption/curfew, and second for marijuana possession Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? sure why not Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? Wish i could say i have had that opportunity What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. None at the moment, besides freaky porn. Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) Not that I remember at the moment Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? 50, but i deleted a lot to make room for new stuff, gotta keep things fresh How long was your longest dryspell? 10 years and ongoing Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? I am too poor to afford the quality of hooker i would need to justify fucking one so no. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 18, and it was ok... If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? probably the ability to control every aspect of my body, from what i look like to being able to regenerate organs and eliminate diseases (ex. cancer), and bones made of steel What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? Getting my first set of grades in college and realizing that i had a 3.9gpa after dropping out of high school. That felt like a big fuck you to all my family that said i would never make anything of myself... now i am a paramedic, but going back to school next semester for a computer related field (have not figured out exactly what yet) and they live like white trash, with no jobs and no schooling. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Nope, was adopted by my grandmother in 7th grade and hadn't met my father until about 4yrs ago. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Brad Pitt but only if Angelina was in the room naked watching. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? I think i am getting tennis elbow from masturbating so much, does that count. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? Have not really had one, well actually i have been caught with my dick in my hand a few times, that's no fun. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? All the ones that involve my mother. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Probably oprah What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? Does string theory count? If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Cheese, i have lived without butter for the last year and don't miss it that much. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? Booze, though i do this routinely If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? Nope, i don't even like the guy What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? Probably a tie between my computer and the TV Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. pimptress Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. sharald27/pimptress/KIMmaster What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? 6 You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? One of the founding fathers so they can see what we have become Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? Keyboard, eh i have a few extra What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? None specific that i can think of, i thought they were kinda boring. How old are you? 28 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? I thought he just had a weekend pass Who is the oldest Mod? ? dont know dont really care If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? Frisco area of Colorado, I love the Colorado rocky mountains. I just think it would be a blast. Why aren't you living there? I am too much of a pussy to toss it all and move away from my friends. You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Oprah can live, i would have Glenn Beck and Michael Bay put their heads together, gun goes to Becks head (gotta make sure that fuck dies) hopefully its not a pussy caliber and kills Bay as well. If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? Princess peach? How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? I have smoked pot (wish i still could), and LSD on the night of the 1999/2000 New Year... LSD was ok, nothing awesome though Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? Yes, Lately it has not been so secret though. He is an alcoholic asshat that refuses to learn from his mistakes, does all kinds of stupid shit (Swastika on his chest, Dirty Whore tattooed across his toes numerous other retarded tattoos). Lies constantly about things. Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you?[/quote] I am sure I have, but I have no recollection of what I might of said Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? Umm besides things like flip flops and slippers when i was a kid, no You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do? Killing spree? In all seriousness I am not really sure. New Stuff What is your freakiest sexual fantasy? If you had to change careers what would your new one be, and what would you be switching from?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? An hour or two? I honestly don't know. Wasn't trying to play Supermarket Sweep with bitches, y'know? Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No, but I've come close a couple times. Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? Sure. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? Nope. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. Got nothin'. Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) Drugs. Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? "Clear Browser History" was my friend. Used to have a couple of burned CD's with personal stuff on it, but I dunno. Probably threw them out on accident. How long was your longest dryspell? Currently on it, due to injury/surgery. A month? Month and a half? Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? No. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 13, she was 17. It was okay. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? Read people's minds. What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? We'll see if it stands the test of time, but my recent injury. I remember so much of it so lucidly, from the actual injury to blood everywhere to the emergency room, the week in the hospital, etc. It's so memorable because it's been the catalyst for a lot of change, across the board. Will probably be the most influential event in my life thus far, if I want to be dramatic. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Maybe, can't say for certain. Apparently a lot of my memories are manufactured or blurry. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Brad Pitt. Because, I mean...c'mon. It's Brad Pitt. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? Bent my cock, wanted to cry. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? I don't really have one. Maybe I just don't embarrassed easily? Maybe I'm lucky? What is the moment you wish you could forget most? None. I don't want to forget anything, ever. Good or bad. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Charlyne Yi What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? Wholeheartedly? Pretty much nothing. But I do think there's a good chance of some awesome extraterrestrial stuff that a super power gov't has. If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Cheese. Definitely cheese. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? Really? I could give up all three and it wouldn't be THAT big of a deal. Drinking is nice though. Drinking is real nice. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? No, because therapy costs $100,001. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? Girlfriend. Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. Poopourri Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. Fuck- I don't know...too lazy to go search through pictures. Whoever the hottest girl here is. That's sufficient. Marry- Again, no idea. Kill- No one, because all the idiots I hate here would probably welcome the sweet release of death. Living their lives is punishment enough. What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? 6. Once out of boredom, once to see if I could beat the previous record. You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? My Uncle Ernst, because the guy was and still is pretty much the coolest motherfucker ever. Celebrities, war heros, whatever. Nope. Him. I mean, even his death was unique (buried alive). Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? Bacon MacBook? Somewhere a fat guy with a neck beard just popped wood. What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? What a stupid question. How old are you? 23 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? Who cares? Who is the oldest Mod? Lame. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? Austin, TX. Why aren't you living there? Finishing degree in Gainesville, girlfriend just finished medical school, so we don't really get to pick. You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Myself, so I get my own episode of Oprah, Glenn Beck can analyze whatever bullshit I make up to be cryptic before killing myself, and so Michael Bay will maybe make a movie about it. Infamy motherfuckers. If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? Whatever the one bitch from Street Fighter was. How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? Most of them. I liked'em all, but not enough to keep doing them. Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? No. Who keeps people they hate around? Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? Made an awkward scene or pissed someone off, sure. But lose respect? Not to my knowledge. If so they certainly didn't voice it. Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? No You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do? Play a couple rounds at Pebble Beach/Augusta National, follow the Red Sox for a week, go do stand up at Caroline's in NYC, sky dive every day, try to arrange it so my girlfriend could give me a BJ at the Lincoln Memorial while holding a glass of Basil Hayden. What is your freakiest sexual fantasy? Jesus, you guys ask the same questions you did on AIM when you were teenagers. Going to get real old reading "two chicks at the same time" jokes. If you had to change careers what would your new one be, and what would you be switching from? Trophy boyfriend to trophy husband works for me. New Questions: Do you like yourself? Who are your three favorite posters here and why? Who are the three most annoying posters here and why?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? A week. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? No way. She looks like she'd ride a bitch hard. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? Nope What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. Do cucumbers count? Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) I've driven home drunk. Not proud of it at all. Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? None. I've never been into porn that much. I'd rather return to the archives of experience. How long was your longest dryspell? 8 months or so Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? No. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 19. It was the most disappointing 32.4 seconds of my life. Thank God it got better. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? Predict the future. What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? The death of my childhood best friend. I was 17 and was pretty emotionally sheltered. It came as a shock because I spoke with her the night before. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? No. They locked the door. And possibly stopped having sex around 1987. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Adriana Lima What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? After not seeing each other for a month my bf (at the time) and I had sex all day. My pussy was so sore it was painful to even think about sex. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? Can the pelvic exam a sassy nurse practitioner gave me today count? What is the moment you wish you could forget most? Nada Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Ummm.... What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? Nothing If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Cheese. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? I don't smoke so tobacco is an easy call. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? No way. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? The cat Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. Myself. Yowza! Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. Fuck-Shimmer, Marry-PinkCandy, Kill-nobody, because I love to hate some of you. What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? Probably 3 or 4. I don't know. You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? My grandma. Because she was the best, ever. Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? Bacon Kitty. Not fucked, just confused. What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? Freddy Kruger. I don't remember. How old are you? 28 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? Within the year. Who is the oldest Mod? Net, clearly. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? Austin Why aren't you living there? In school for the next few years. They don't have my program at UT Austin. You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Oprah. I can't stand her. If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? I don't know. I spent my childhood outdoors...with my friends. How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? Just weed. Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? No. Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? Not that I know of... Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? Yes. I love boyfriend's t-shirts and hoodies. You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do? Take everyone I love on a trip. What is your freakiest sexual fantasy? I don't think mine are so freaky. If you had to change careers what would your new one be, and what would you be switching from? New-rock star, Old-physical therapy student Do you like yourself? Yeah Who are your three favorite posters here and why? I don't know. Who are the three most annoying posters here and why?[/quote] Ballsack, KIMaster, annnnnd I can't think of a third. What's your favorite guilty pleasure?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? I think a day or two. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No. Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? I have a feeling she'd be frigid in bed, but it would be a good story. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? No...at least not right away. I continued to date/bone my boss long after I had any interest in or attraction to him whatsoever because I didn't want things to get weird for me at work, though. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. I guess the kinkiest was handcuffs. Although, my dad knows about it because i'm 99% sure he stole them because I left them in my room at his house. Now I have a pretty standard goody drawer: a few vibrators, lube, massage oil. Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) Not really. Although, drinking the way I did when I was really young was probably not the best. Exploring abandoned buildings probably wasn't too safe either. Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? I never did that. I would just look at pictures online and that's it. I actually never got why people saved porn. I don't think I've ever watched the same thing twice. How long was your longest dryspell? I'm currently in it. I haven't had sex since Thanksgiving weekend. It's mostly because I wanted it that way, although I'm done with that point of view now. Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? No. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 16. I enjoyed the fact that I was losing my virginity. The sex itself wasn't exactly great. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? Teleportation. There are so many places I'd want to go but it's such a hassle/expensive. What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? The real answers to this are depressing, so I'll go with something happy. I'll never forget seeing a rainbow in the Negev Desert. It's pretty much the only religious experience I've ever had. Plus, how many people can say they've seen a rainbow in a desert? Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? No, but I used to hear my dad and stepmom boning. Now, I get so uncomfortable and upset if I overhear someone having sex. I get weird flashbacks. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Marion Cotiliard and/or Beyonce. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? My wrist was almost broken using the aforementioned handcuffs. That was the best. The worst was when I woke up the next day and my entire left boob was covered in this ugly blue/green/yellow bruise. I have no idea how it happened. It hurt so much and it's sad when boobs are ugly. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? I didn't consider it that bad at the time, but it keeps getting funnier and more awkward as the years go by. He was making a fool of himself and I kept laughing right in his face and trying really hard to disguise it as moaning. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? Being there when my five-year-old stepbrother was being told that his mom had died. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Anthony Weiner. God, that guy is awesome. I would marry him in a heartbeat, even if he's older than my dad and it would mean my last name would be Weiner. What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? I have a bunch of new-agey beliefs like reincarnation/past lives, spirits/souls, psychics etc If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? I have qualms with this question. Does this mean to choose one to use on its own? Because if so, I'd definitely choose cheese because I barely ever use butter and cheese is awesome. But if it means giving up baked goods, then it's like choosing salty over sweet for the rest of your life and for that question I'd have to get back to you. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? I don't use tobacco, so that. If it's only for things I do use, I'd give up caffeine. I only drink it in soda and that's just for the taste so I'd get caffeine free sodas. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? Absolutely not. This question upsets me. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? I'm in my room, so there are a ton of valuable things. I guess I'll go the superficial route and say my computer. Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. Harry Coolahan. (I'm cheating.) Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. the girl who has the avatar with those cartoons from that movie/jgold/kimaster What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? I'm not even sure if I'm masturbated twice in one day. I usually just do one long session and that lasts me for a while. You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? My mom. Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? My keyboard. That would suck, and I'd be very fucked. What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? I wasn't a kid when it came out, but I think the first horror movie I refused to see because it would be too scary rather than it being too stupid was Saw and the birth of torture porn. How old are you? 22 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? I don't know who that is. There are only a handful of members that I can separate from the masses and keep their stories straight. Who is the oldest Mod? Shrug. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? I'm currently playing that game because I'm getting kicked out of my apartment and can't afford to live here anymore if I'm not in my illegally cheap place. It kind of seems like I might be headed to Chapel Hill. Although, I guess the real answer is "I would love to continue to live in Brooklyn." Why aren't you living there? Because I thought I'd be living in New York for as long as I wanted, and if I was going to leave it would be on my own terms, so I never considered it. You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Glenn Beck. The only upsetting thing about him being gone would be not getting to watch John Stewart mock him anymore. If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? I'm a girl slash I was six in 1995, so I really don't know... How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? I'm not really a drug person, so the only ones I've tried are pot and salvia (if that counts). The only other one I'd be interested in trying is Ecstasy. Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? No. My friends are kind of scattered around, so it's not like that can really happen. Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? Admitting to trying bum sex in a room full of girls. Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? Yeah, I actually have a lot of men's clothes that I wear during the fall and winter. Most of my sweaters are mens', and I have a button-down and T-shirt. Most of these are from H&M because that's really a genderless store. You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do? I'd travel. What is your freakiest sexual fantasy? I've actually gotten to do most of my fantasies. The only ones left are to have a one-on-one girl-on-girl experience and a mmf threesome. (I'm aware that last one is probably never going to happen. I'm not even sure if I'd like it. I'd just want to try.) If you had to change careers what would your new one be, and what would you be switching from? I'd like to work in movies as either a set designer/production director or costume designer. I'd be switching from writing/publishing/communications/event planning. Do you like yourself? Yes Who are your three favorite posters here and why? I'd like to hang out with Pink Cup and TX in real life. I also like MoreCowbell. Who are the three most annoying posters here and why? This is getting gossipy. I don't feel like answering this. What's your favorite guilty pleasure? Trashy reality TV shows. New question: What's a fictional character that you relate to? Daria.
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? Probably 12 hours or so. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? Absolutely. Prison teaches you things. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? No, unless you count car rides, steak dinners or money. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. Well, I don't like my cock ring, so maybe a tiny vibe? Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) I've hopped turnstiles, I guess. Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? Maybe 2 or 3 movies. Had an early bad experience with viruses, and I often prefer stories anyway. I did have a bunch of word files with stories saved just in case my internet went down. How long was your longest dryspell? I've done a lot of long distance dating, so, maybe 4 months? Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? Nope. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 18. It was alright. I was mediocre while it lasted, which wasn't long. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? Limited teleportation. Anything more would ruin my life. What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? Watching my brother die. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Once, missionary. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Is Joey Comeau a celebrity? If not, Prince. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? Nothing much worse than a bad cramp. I kept going. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? Probably getting my hand covered in menstruation. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? See most memorable. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Condi Rice. What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? Nothing If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Butter. It's in too many recipes. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? I don't smoke or drink coffee, so probably tobacco. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? Yep. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? My laptop, probably. I have no furniture (but I'm getting some this week! woohoo!) Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. Always thought Roxanne was attractive. Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. Pimptress/Pinkcup/Nettdata (I like him, but it can't be that hard to pull a breathing tube) What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? Probably 3 or 4. You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? See memorable moment. Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? Laptop, which would kinda ruin this post. What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? Child's Play, but I still haven't seen it. How old are you? 23 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? What time is it now? Who is the oldest Mod? Nett If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? NYC. Although I guess I can live there, and choose not to. Hm. Why aren't you living there? No clue. I guess I wanted to try a new place for a while. You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Meh, they're all ok. If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? I would wreck Ms. Pac Man How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? Just weed. Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? Nope. Though they all irk me sometimes. Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? I'm sure I've made stupid enough jokes, but none come to mind. Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? Does a drag show count? You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do? Travel the country visiting friends. What is your freakiest sexual fantasy? Nothing beyond your run of the mill whips/cuffs extravaganza. Although I have a mild interesting in trying a lot of other stuff. If you had to change careers what would your new one be, and what would you be switching from? I'd be a professional writer. As opposed to my career now, which is as a shitty writer. Do you like yourself? Yep. Who are your three favorite posters here and why? Good question. Frank/Aetius/MoreCowbell? I like the vast majority of you. Who are the three most annoying posters here and why? Ballsack/KIMaster/Nom Chompsky. If we're being objective. What's your favorite guilty pleasure? Baking cookies? If you could change one of your physical features, what would it be? What's your next meal?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? N/A. One girl, 5 years. With her - about 6 weeks doing long distance in college. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? Negatory Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? I don't really see why not. I would be asking for food approximately 3 seconds after climax. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? Negatory - 1 girl. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. Couple vibrators? Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) I was shooting bb guns on a high school field and the police did a 'raid' and had 5 cops come with guns drawn. They told me they almost shot me. Most illegal - probably spamming 2 million people in the early 2000's. Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? Maybe 2 GB? I was pretty loyal to a small collection for a while. How long was your longest dryspell? 6 weeks? Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? Negatory. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 21. I always enjoy when I win, and I won by a large margin the first time. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? To make myself and people around me happy. And see them naked. What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? Seeing the island of kho phi phi (thailand) from the top of a mountain my first night there. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Negatory. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Do transvestites count? Are there any celebrity transvestites? Or at least some really girly looking asian dudes? What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? Some knee burns. Minor. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? The first time I tried to have sex. I was really drunk, so was she. Half my fraternity tried entering through my window, and I threw things at them. When I got back I tried to get hard, and put a condom on, and it broke because I put it on backwards. Nothing happened, except the next morning she thought something had happened. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? Right now, the story above. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Does 'respect' mean 'would fuck anyways'? That sunday night sex lady. I'd probably have the best 45 seconds of my clenched-eye life. What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? That whole 'if you want it to happen it may be statistically more likely to happen stuff. Not wholeheartedly. If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Boo cheese, go butter. How is this a choice? I haven't read this thread but that's appalling someone would choose cheese. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? tobacco, 2 e z. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? Eh, why not. I'll get blackout drunk. I'll give you my bank account information right after I clean my pants. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? My porntop. Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. Those ladies that post their boobs. Pretty much all of them. Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. I don't really keep up with the personalities here. What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? Somewhere near 12. I used to challege myself to go more than last time. Definitely over 10. Past 7 or 8 it's basically dry and that shit starts hurting. You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? That african dude from lost. They killed him off way too early in the show, he was awesome. Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? Isn't this pretty much everyone's keyboard? Does that turn every word into a bacon-like word, or just mean I get to eat my keyboard? What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? Negatory. My nerves are made of steel. How old are you? 26 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? Who? Who is the oldest Mod? suapyg? If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? Probably somewhere in the mountains near a river and an ocean, with a moderate climate and access to society, and banging asian food. Why aren't you living there? I'm living the corporate dream. Also don't know where that place is. If you know, PM me. You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Only know who Oprah is. I ask for money bribes, written on paper, loser is lowest dollar amount. If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? Princess? How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? Negatory. I'm boring. Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? Not a lot of friends or family. Also not quiet, so hate isn't very secret for me. Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? I've had my awkward moments, can't remember anything specific. Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? Negatory. You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do? Travel, try some drugs, spend time with family, and do increasingly risky things until I eventually die - base jumping, that wing suit you see on youtube, cave diving, 200 mph motorcycle races. Maybe sign up for some of those 'you may save someone's life, or die in the process' sort of things. What is your freakiest sexual fantasy? Sex in the snow. With lots of girls. If you had to change careers what would your new one be, and what would you be switching from? Outdoors guide of some sort - diving, hiking, or biking. Corporate sales engineering (networking). Do you like yourself? Pow pow pow. Who are your three favorite posters here and why? The last poster in the boobie thread and the next two. Who are the three most annoying posters here and why? Can't hate, don't know. The next three girls to not post their boobs even though they have beautiful and bountiful boobs they're not sharing? What's your favorite guilty pleasure? Eating bad food - deep fried icecream covered in caramel inside a chalupa covered with chocolate, etc. If you could change one of your physical features, what would it be? Eyes - they're a little slanty, but not asian. What's your next meal? Cooking up a bad ass breakfast burrito. Potato, hot sausage, eggs, bacon, monterrey jack cheese, spices. MMMMM mmmm Why did you fill out this ridiculous survey? What can you do 3 times a day, every day for a week, every week for a month that will make you happy every time?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? Six years. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? Twice. Once for accidentally hitting someone while trying to throw them off of me (I was being dragged from my own home without reason); the second was getting caught after I snuck out on Halloween. Would you do it with Martha Stewart given the opportunity? Only if I inherited all her (non-sexual) assets. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? No. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. N/A Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) I was unintentionally complicit in a friend lighting a 30-foot-long, five-foot deep curb-side pile of leaves on fire in front of a school. Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? 12 at the most. How long was your longest dryspell? Six years without being in a vagina. Without getting off by direct hand/blow/vag job, 21 years, 9 months, 10 days. Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? No. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 14, and no. The incident and aftermath were instrumental in creating most of the sexual and emotional hangups/issues I have today. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? Telekenesis, and the ability to intuitively understand things down to an atomic level to assist in using it creatively. What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? Waking up in the middle of the night, to my mother standing over me with a knife in my hand, saying "I know you'll take good care of [younger brother]. I think the reason it's so memorable goes without explanation. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? 9 years old, missionary on the couch. And then my dad bitched at me for being out of bed, and likely interrupting the only pussy he was getting that year. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Jared Leto. Better a feminine dude than a not-feminine dude. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? I have a small piece of scar tissue down there from a maturbation-related abrasion years ago. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? Both of them. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? That "most memorable one". That, or my first sexual experience. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Ann Coulter. (Kidding, I hate that subhuman cunt). Let's go with the woman who plays M in Casino Royale/QoS. She plays the part in a way I like. What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? Paranormal. Nothing specific or that I zealously believe, but there's shit out there that can't be explained by science. If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Cheese, fuck butter. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? Booze. Haven't drank in months anyway. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? Yes, and promptly spend a few grand of it in the ER getting treated for alcohol poisoning and getting a new liver. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? My computer. Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. One, erm, all of the ones who post in the ass thread. Oh, and TX, but I'm too young for her. Kidding. Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. Random choice from booty thread; pass; pass What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? Seven? You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? Nikola Tesla; given the technological advancements we currently have, the man would slingshot us forward by centuries. Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? My lighter, and I have another. What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? Can't recall. Mom made sure I never watched anything too scary. How old are you? 21. How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? He's still out? Who is the oldest Mod? Nettdata. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? Somewhere warm, tropical, and relatively unscathed by weather-related shit. Why aren't you living there? Because I have no drive or motivation. You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? I convince Glenn Beck that Michael Bay is destined to be the right-hand lieutenant of the future Obama Antichrist, let him do his thing, and then shoot Beck in the head. If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? Lara Croft, can't think of anyone else. (Ms. Pacman, maybe? Waka, waka, you dirty little whore you) How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? Weed, nicotine, love both. Tried shrooms once but pussed out and didn't eat enough to get a trip. Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? I have only one friend, and that's using the term loosely. Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? Happens pretty much every time I speak my mind. Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? No. You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do? Buy an expensive and fast car, pick up some women, do some blow, skydive, ride a horse, eat at expensive restaurants, spend a day zipping around some highty-tighy rich men's boating event in a speedboat, and generally make an ass of myself. What is your freakiest sexual fantasy? Play the dom role in a hardcore S&M roleplay/fuck with a barely-legal cheerleader and every spanking implement known to man. If you had to change careers what would your new one be, and what would you be switching from? No idea, and I'd be moving on from glamorously working a pantry station in a restaurant that thinks way too highly of itself and its quality. Do you like yourself? My feelings towards myself range from admiration, respect, and recognition of accomplishment and strengths, to absolute hatred and disgust. Who are your three favorite posters here and why? Off the top of my head, Nettdata, BlueDog, and Rob4Broncos. Each one tends to bring a combination of funny stories/links/jokes and intelligent thought (HA!) to the table. Who are the three most annoying posters here and why? No one here really irritates me. What's your favorite guilty pleasure? Occasionally watching old episodes of Supernatural, from back when it was a half-decent series. If you could change one of your physical features, what would it be? My face. Instead of being covered in acne, it would be clear. What's your next meal? Egg salad sandwiches with tomato basil chips. Why did you fill out this ridiculous survey? Why not? Well, I can think of several reasons to not fill it out, but I really don't care. What can you do 3 times a day, every day for a week, every week for a month that will make you happy every time? Jerk off? Eat delicious food? Smoke? What's your sport? That isn't console-based? Baseball to play, football to watch. What was your lowest moment in life? Pretty much any one that involved the opposite sex. What do you feel is your greatest acheivement? What is your greatest vice? What person do you most admire, and why? ( I know, these look like they were picked out of Fun Family Questions for the Boring Family!)
Christ this is getting long. And mine seems boring. What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? Honestly, I'm guessing at least a couple days. Maybe a week. I tend not to fuck multiple people concurrently. More by coincidence than any Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No. Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? I mean, I wouldn't go out of my way. But it doesn't really make me want to wretch, so sure. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? Hmm...no. I have boned someone I wasn't particularly attracted to because I was in a slump, but never for material gain. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. I thought a while about this, and I can't think of anything. I've used every day objects for moderately kinky purposes (one of those Gillete vibrating razors when I was like, 15), but I don't really own anything explicitly kinky. Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) I mean, pot and underage booze, but who hasn't. I did once break into an abandoned mental hospital with some friends. It was VERY creepy. Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? I'm amazed that you guys actually downloaded porn. I do remember a day before streaming, but I'm pretty sure I only looked at still pictures. How long was your longest dryspell? If it requires sex....8 months. If it has to be a true dry spell, probably 3 months. Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? No. We almost bought one of my friends a hooker in Amsterdam, though. He wasn't up for it, though. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 18. Freshman year of college. It was...meh. It wasn't bad sex, wasn't great sex. I was very happy to get it out of the way, though. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? Teleportation seems the most useful with the fewest downsides (telepathy would be awesome, but sometimes you're better off not knowing stuff). What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? Skating in Rockefeller Center with an ex-girlfriend. It was just a sense of everything about that moment being perfect, where I forgot about any other care in the world. I had a lot of those type of moments with her, and honestly, thinking about that relationship too much makes me very sad. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Sigh. Yes. Missionary. There was grunting. It was recent, too. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Ryan Reynolds is an undeniably good looking dude. If I'm gonna get boned by a dude, at least it better be a dude I can brag about. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? I once gave my ex a ridiculous bloody nose with an accidental elbow right to the face. Ruined an entire bedspread. Luckily, it was clearly accidental and she laughed at it. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? Sigh. I recently got to drunk to be up to the task. As a guy, it's hard to imagine anything more embarrassing, and it's damn hard to get out of your head afterwards. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? Being in hospital waiting rooms at 12 years old while my dad fought cancer (for the record, Dad 1, Cancer 0). I wouldn't wish that kind of worrying on my worst enemy. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Hmm....assuming I have to pick celebrities and not activists/politicians....Susan Sontag? Patti Smith? What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? I had to google cryptozoology. I'm really not the crazy conspiracy/fringe sort...but I'd be willing to believe that the electric car was actively suppressed for decades. If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Well, considering that butter is in damn near everything, I'm going with butter. Cheese is great, but butter is an ingredient in so many other foods. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? I'm in the midst of giving up tobacco, so I suppose that doesn't count. I'm going with caffeine, because booze honestly wouldn't change that much about my day-to-day life. Caffeine I'm sort of dependent upon. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? I'm fairly certain the answer is no....but I do wonder if there is a price that I'd say yes to. I'd much prefer to think that no such price exists, but that strikes me as dishonest. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? Bookcase. I'm not really a material possession sort of person. I could easily part with anything I own Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. PIMPTRESS, because she seems wild. shimmered is outrageously attractive. Roxanne, although she doesn't post here much anymore. audreymonroe, although I'm not entirely sure what she looks like (I sorta imagine her as her avatar). Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. PIMPTRESS (I imagine she'd be a freak), Pink Cup, and Dixiebandit (for the gene pool's sake). What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? 8. Once I got to about four, I thought that I might as well make a sport out of it. You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? Martin Luther King Jr. I imagine the reasons are obvious. He could have done more, and he had the power to make other people follow him. Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? I umm...had it touching my face. So my face is now made out of bacon. That is fairly distubring. As much as I like bacon, I have no desire to be a bacon-person. Someone might try to eat me. What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? IT. I'm not even scared of clowns per se, but that clown is fucking scary. Teeth and shit. Watching it at 18. How old are you? 21. How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? 2 months. Who is the oldest Mod? Shegirl. She's like, fucking 60. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? New York City, because I'm at an age where I'm mostly concerned with my own quality of life, and it is so full of experience. I'm moving there in three months. Why aren't you living there? Because it isn't July. You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Glenn Beck, because the other two are merely obnoxious rather than legitimately harmful. If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? Chun Li from Street Fighter II. How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? Only pot, and honestly I'm not a big fan. It makes me anxious, to the point of sometimes causing panic attacks. Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? Currently...no. In the past yes. One because she underwent a massive personality shift and became a Mean Girls style bitch. I've since hung out with her, and she has become a legitimately decent person...but none of our mutual friends believe me. Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? I've expressed politically uncomfortable statements (usually liberal-slanted or gender-related) in plenty a room of people where I knew they'd be unpopular. I just don't care enough to keep my mouth shut when someone says something that is blatantly fucked up. Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? Not that I'm aware of. You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do? I'd sign up with an NGO in a third world country. I'd like my last act to at least mean something once I'd left. What is your freakiest sexual fantasy? Rimjob, perhaps. If you had to change careers what would your new one be, and what would you be switching from? I assume that saying NBA player would sort of be cheating...so I'd like to be a college economics professor. Currently slated to enter a economic consulting job. Do you like yourself? Honestly, only sometimes. I wouldn't be surprised if a therapist would classify me as having subsyndromal depression. I have a high opinion of myself as far as my abilities and talents...I just don't like me plenty of days. Who are your three favorite posters here and why? I like Pink Cup, Nom Chompsky, and Beefy Phil. I get a tiny bit excited whenever I see that one of them has commented on a thread. They're all incredibly witty and intelligent without coming off like they're trying too hard. Who are the three most annoying posters here and why? KIMaster annoys me a lot, but frankly this place is better off with him here. He's undeniable intelligent and strikes up good debates, even if he often strikes me as a douchenozzle. Dixiebandit, for base stupidity. Ballsack because, well, he's Ballsack. What's your favorite guilty pleasure? Internet nerdery. Looking at shit on Tumblr and meme pages for hours while normal people are socializing with real people. What's a fictional character that you relate to? Arthur Dent in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Rob in High Fidelity. Clay in Less Than Zero. Generally, male, neurotic, introverted, intelligent, and slightly self-loathing characters. If you could change one of your physical features, what would it be? I'd love to lose 30 pounds or so. I'm not morbidly obese or anything...but I'm been on the slightly-too-heavy side for most of my life. What's your next meal? Probably a bagel and bacon. Mmmmmm. Bacon. Why did you fill out this ridiculous survey? It beats studying. What can you do 3 times a day, every day for a week, every week for a month that will make you happy every time? I mean....even sex doesn't really make me happy every time. And sometimes food is shitty. So I guess the only answer is sleep. What's your sport? Basketball. What was your lowest moment in life? Breaking up with someone who might have been the love of my life. Not just for my sake. Seeing the pain that I caused her in doing so is a guilt that I will never live down. Ever. New question: If you could recommend one book that everyone should read for their own good, what is it?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? 5 years and counting Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? As so many other posters have said, fuck ya. The sandwich would be unreal after. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? Nope. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. Crazy Amount of Lube, kama sutra cards Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) Nope Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? I could never whack off to the same video twice. Variety is the spice of life How long was your longest dryspell? 20 years with out sex, about 6 months btw beejs Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? I figure the day I pay for sex is the day Hotwheelz gets laid. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? I was 20, I had been drinking at my friend's cottage all day, my girlfriend and I had a big fight and I was wasted. She came out to the fire, whispered in my ear she wanted to make up, and we both lost our virginity to each other. I was wasted, thrust like four times, she said it hurt and we stopped. Next time we tried it, there was actual lube, it went better and I went through more rubbers than a NASCAR team at Daytona. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? I would really like to have the ability to fly, but could regulate my speed accordingly. Zip to Scotland to see my family, no problem. Just take a leisurely flight around the neighbour to reflect on things? Sure, why not? What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? When I graduated University. I don't think I've ever been more proud of myself in my life. It culminated four years of hard work and it made me the first graduate from post secondary education in my family. Extremely memorable moment in my life. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Yes, reverse cowgirl. I was 13, came inside from playing baseball on the street and went upstairs to get a hat and change my shorts. My parents door was wide open, and thank the fucking lord they were facing away from me. I was fucking mortified. I slept at my friend's house for a week and would not answer calls from my parents. It was disgusting. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Chaz Bono. At least her asshole would be feminine. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? My girlfriend and I were having a little foreplay in bed while we were watching a movie, and I tried for the old shocker. She was jerking me off a little, and as soon as she felt my pink near her butt, she smashed down, smashing me in the balls. I literally felt my nuts go up into my stomach. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? I went on a streak of about 3 months where whenever my girlfriend and I fucked, I would blow in like five minutes. I was over worked, stressed over my police testing, and what was a couple of early nuts got into my head and I just focused solely on not cumming, which exacerbated the fact. She was wasted one night and after a "quckie", she gave a huge sigh, rolled her eyes and went to sleep. Talk about feeling like a bag of shit. This situation has since been rectified, and I now last a whopping 6 minutes. Don't all PM me at once, ladies. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? Having to tell my mom that her mom passed away. Worst day ever. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Haley Wickenheiser. What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? Harry Potter magic. I was a hippogriff, bitch. If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? Caffeine fo sho. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? My father has been inside my mother. No way in hell. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? Iphone. Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. I second Roxanne. Stone cold fox. Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. Sharald - she's a cute redhead and Jennitalia, even if she likes hipster douches, she is a LEAF fan and has an iphone I could steal since mine is now bacon/Not a commitment man/I wouldn't murder him, but I'd make sure Nett met with a nice, big, cryogenic chamber in rural BC so I could fuck around with all his cool shit. And by cryogenic chamber I mean a nice glass of prune juice (what he calls wine) and a couple of small meals to make him want to go to bed earlier than his 6:30 PST bed time. What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? N/A - You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? My best friend's mom. She was killed by a drunk driver, my friend and his brother have grown up to be fantastic men and I would really like her to see how much of an impact she's had on their life. Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? IPhone. Fuck me running. What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? Aracnaphobia. Watched it on my 10th birthday after refusing to watch it with my friend. I decided to man up at 10 and watch it with my mom. Scariest movie ever. How old are you? 25 How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? He is too fucking happy talking about Schlitterbombs all the time. I don't think he's ever going back. Who is the oldest Mod? SheGirl for sure. Crotchitty, bitter, insurance adjuster. Gotta be mid 50's for sure. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? Las Vegas. I love the hustle and bustle of the city. Why aren't you living there? Sans le cash flow. You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? If it's empty how are we and a gun in the room? I just blew your mind. If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? Princess Peach fo sho. How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? Only alcohol. Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? Yeah, he is a friend of a friend. He is a pompous, loud mouth he gets drunk on 3 beers and wants to be a tough guy whenever we go out. Dresses like a hipster, thinks he is ballin' because he has decent job out of Uni but still acts like he's in high school. Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? I once farted and made two people throw up with the smell. Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? I wore my girlfriend's Argentina national team jacket when I was cold? You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do? Penthouse at Caesar's with my family and friends for a week, Scotland with my family for a week, private resort in the Caribbean for a week with my friends, elope to Paris with my girlfriend, married at the Eiffel Tower and die in her arms at the end of the week. What is your freakiest sexual fantasy? I haven't got a Beej in 7 years. I'd love one of those. If you had to change careers what would your new one be, and what would you be switching from? I'd be a lead detective for the Ontario Provincial Police. I work in a call centre doing customer service for a utility company in Ontario. Do you like yourself? To quote Ronnie Coleman - YEAH BUDDAY Who are your three favorite posters here and why? Crown Royal - best poster on this board bar none. Ballsack - even if he is a shit disturber who tries to hard, he does offer lots of funny. No one can take themselves that seriously on an internet message board and not be joking, right? Seriously though, The Voice is an unreal guy. Hope he makes it to Hockey Night in Canada to replace Jim Hughson. BlueDog - great WDT's, guys gonna be a solid booze supply for his kid Who are the three most annoying posters here and why? Dcc - doesn't know the difference between the Winnipeg Jets and the NY Jets. Terrible for a 'pegger. Stay Frosty - all he does is bitch and moan, a poor man's Durbanite. Put on some weight and have a smoke. Queer. TX - comes off like a stuck up prude; complains too much about FWP. What's your favorite guilty pleasure? Playing COD/Xbox in general, this place If you could change one of your physical features, what would it be? Neck beard. Enough said. What's your next meal?[/quote] Breakfast - peaches and cream oatmeal, croissant and cup of tea Why did you fill out this ridiculous survey? Beats watching the Caps get swept. What can you do 3 times a day, every day for a week, every week for a month that will make you happy every time? COD/NHL/Sports What's your sport? Hockey FTW What was your lowest moment in life? Not graduating with honours. What do you feel is your greatest acheivement? Graduating Uni, already answered above though. What is your greatest vice? I eat too much, and work out too little. What person do you most admire, and why? Two - my parents. Came from Scotland to Canada with very little, now both living well above what we would call a middle class life style, taught me everything I know about hard work and have done a fantastic job raising my brother and myself. What's a fictional character that you relate to? Peter from Judy Blume's "Fudge" series. Older brother, expected to be the model for the younger brother who gets away with everything. Mine: What is your nickname in real life with all your friends? In the same context, how did you come up with your Screen Name? What is your biggest regret in life?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? Zero if you count threesomes. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No. Would you do it with Martha Stewart/Bill Gates given the opportunity? Maybe if I got some serious net worth out of it Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? No. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. A few vibrators, dildos, handcuffs, a flogger, wax play candles, bondage rope... the usual Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) Not that I can think of Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? Not much honestly. How long was your longest dryspell? 7 months and counting. Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? No. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 15 and no it was not a pleasant experience at all. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? Telekinesis What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? Being told that the kidney stone that almost killed me by being stuck had started to move and I wouldn't have to have emergency surgery. I have never felt that kind of relief before or since. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Thankfully no. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? Mila Kunis What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? Concussion from accidentally cracking my head against a concrete dorm wall in college. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? The loss of my virginity What is the moment you wish you could forget most? The experience of my first kidney stone Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Lewis Black What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? Paranormal Cheese or butter? Cheese. If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? Caffeine. I almost never drink coffee or soda so I wouldn't really notice it anyway If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? No. What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? My DVD collection (all in one big case so I'm counting it). If that doesn't work then my computer. Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. Pimptress Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. Pimptress/?/? What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? 4 I think? Not sure. You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? Famous/historical - Eleanor of Aquitaine. Fascinating woman. So many questions for her. In General - My grandmother on my mom's side who died 8 months before I was born. Would have loved to meet her. Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? My water bottle, and I have a spare. What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? Can't recall that I ever refused to watch a scary movie as a kid. Loved them even then. How old are you? 24. How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? No clue Who is the oldest Mod? Nettdata. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? Northern-ish California somewhere like Monteray or Santa Cruz Why aren't you living there? I just moved to where I am and got comfy. Not moving again for a while You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Glenn Beck probably If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? Princess Zelda I suppose. Resident Evil Wasn't until 1996 so couldn't go with Jill Valentine How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? Alcohol, nicotine, weed, mushrooms, opium. Only smoked opium once probably wouldn't do it again. Would definitely try shrooms again. Haven't smoked weed in quite a while. Still smoke and drink Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? Not that I can think of, but if I did they probably didn't tell me Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? Kind of a trick question for girls. I guess I have to say yes. You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do? Go horseback riding again, swim with dolphins, hug a manatee (with enough money sure I can figure that out), see a bunch of Broadway shows, have a party with all the important people in my life, rent out some theme parks for the day (with friends and family) What is your freakiest sexual fantasy? Honestly my man and I have already done most of the kinky stuff I'm into. Usually just BDSM related. If you had to change careers what would your new one be, and what would you be switching from? No idea, and I'd be moving on from just starting on my Master's so maybe that would save me some debt Do you like yourself? It varies. Who are your three favorite posters here and why? Nettdata, BlueDog, and Pinkcup make me laugh very consistently Who are the three most annoying posters here and why? Honestly not sure. What's your favorite guilty pleasure? Sleeping half the day If you could change one of your physical features, what would it be? being more fit What's your next meal? A couple of fried eggs in the morning Why did you fill out this ridiculous survey? Unable to sleep and boredom What can you do 3 times a day, every day for a week, every week for a month that will make you happy every time? Masturbate, Smoke, Take a nap What's a fictional character that you relate to? Not sure on this one. That will require a lot of thought and brain isn't at full capacity from being tired. What's your sport? Basketball to play, Football to watch What was your lowest moment in life? October 23, 2000. Not going to elaborate. What do you feel is your greatest achievement? I really hope that I haven't had it yet, but if I can only count things that have happened I will say cutting out people in my life that were generally unhealthy for me emotionally. The people who just were emotional leeches. What is your greatest vice? Probably my love of sleep combined with being a night owl. Makes mornings when I end up low on sleep unpleasant. What person do you most admire, and why? My mom. Cliche yes but still true. She is one of the strongest people that I have ever known and has always looked out for me. If you could recommend one book that everyone should read for their own good, what is it? Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. One of my favorite books of all time. Note the sig. What is your nickname in real life with all your friends? I don't really have one. In the same context, how did you come up with your Screen Name? I think Hannibal Lecter is an awesome character What is your biggest regret in life? Keeping people in my life around despite the fact that they were damaging/unhealthy (related to my greatest achievement) New Questions If you were sent to hell what movie would be playing on loop that you would be forced to watch (for you personally)? If you could only use one sexual position for the rest of your life what would it be? Did you ever sleep with a stuffed animal? If so, what was it and do you still have it?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? about a week I think Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity? Yes Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? No What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. The large amount of porn on my computers Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) Was with a group that drunkenly fired a potato luancher at a cop car once Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? Properly around 100gb How long was your longest dryspell? Without any form of sex about 6 months Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? No How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? I was 16, It was a new years party we were both petty hammered (I think she was I definitely was). From the details that I can remember it was alright but definitely not my finest effort If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? telekinesis, being able to move things with your mind who wouldn't What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? At this time of my life it would be I graduated University. One of the reasons why is that I am the first one of my generation in the family to graduate and I am one the younger ones in the group. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Not walked in but walking past the door heard the noises, Left that area petty quick If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? stuart townsend What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? While going at it on the bed might have been a bit to energetic and caused the bookshelve above the bed to collapse on my head, gave me a nice concussion and a story why I hate shelves above beds What was your absolute worst sexual experience? Havn't had that many so I would have to say first time because from what I know now definitely would have done things differently from what happened What is the moment you wish you could forget most? When I was told that my grandfather had passed away Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Dame judi Dench What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in Harry potter world, the owls are organized man If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick? cheese If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? booze I don't smoke and have gone without booze for more than a month but caffeine can't live without that If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? Not a chance What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? Laptop Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. taste_my_rainbow Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. Jennitalia/Dcc/ballsack What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? 5 You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? Grandfather, never got a chance to say goodbye due to living in separate states and it been so sudden. Also so he could see me when I enlisted with the army and when I marched out of basic. I grew up listening to his stories which I think in part influenced my choice to join Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? laptop, So fucked how else am I meant to amuse myself with now without access to the interwebs What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? Alien/ saw it as an 8 year old, terrified me. It took me until I was 13 to actually sit through the whole thing How old are you? How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? Within two years, He'll relapse again Who is the oldest Mod? Toytoy If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? New York city, Always had a fascination with that place Why aren't you living there? Wrong part of the world and lack of money You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Myself If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? Princess Peach How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? booze, weed, ecstasy Is there a member of your circle of friends you secretly hate? Why? Friend from high school, I don't talk to him anymore but he is still friends with the rest of everyone I still talk to from school. Acts all tough and lies about everything and then baulks when you call him out and then 30 seconds later hes lying again. Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? Hope not Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? Wore a bra down main street when I lost a bet You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do? I would fly around the world saying goodbye to my friends and family and then in the last few days I would go out hiking just walk out into the bush and not come back just keep going knowing that I'm at at peace with myself What is your freakiest sexual fantasy? To many to focus on one If you had to change careers what would your new one be, and what would you be switching from? Infantry Officer most likely in 3RAR. I just finshed Uni and I work in customer retail at a boating supply store and am a riflemen in the reserves. Slowly getting there Do you like yourself? Sometimes Who are your three favorite posters here and why? Guy Fawkes - keeps posting entertaining things BlueDog - always mind myself amused by his antics Who are the three most annoying posters here and why? Durbanite - everyone loves a good bitch but they don't keep going on What's your favorite guilty pleasure? whenever I'm waiting at reception and they have the girly mags I read them and enjoy doing it If you could change one of your physical features, what would it be? grow a full beard, I have the reverse hitler going with mine every where else fine just that patch What's your next meal? Pizza Why did you fill out this ridiculous survey? Boredom while I wait for stargate universe to download What can you do 3 times a day, every day for a week, every week for a month that will make you happy every time? playing my guitar/surfing and playing bad company 2 What's your sport? cricket What was your lowest moment in life? agree with previous poster not graduating with honours What do you feel is your greatest acheivement? Marching at of basic with my family there What is your greatest vice? not enough attention to detail What person do you most admire, and why? John Curtin Prime Minister for Australia, Stood up to higher powers and help Australia What's a fictional character that you relate to? Peter from Judy Blume's "Fudge" series. Older brother, expected to be the model for the younger brother who gets away with everything. What is your nickname in real life with all your friends? Parso In the same context, how did you come up with your Screen Name? name of comedian I liked when I first needed a screen name and kept it since What is your biggest regret in life? Not going for officer straight away and did uni instead like parents told me to If you were sent to hell what movie would be playing on loop that you would be forced to watch (for you personally)? Hannah Montana movie If you could only use one sexual position for the rest of your life what would it be? doggystyle Did you ever sleep with a stuffed animal? If so, what was it and do you still have it? a teddy bear until I was 2 and yes I still have it somewhere New: If you could instantly start up a new alochol company would type of booze would you sell What would you name it?
What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people? Zero also, if you count threesomes. But if not, then about 9 hours. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? Nope, and don't plan on it. Would you do it with Martha Stewart/Bill Gates given the opportunity? Only if she paid me a lot of money and I could put a gag in her mouth and bag over her head. Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it? Yes, to get her roommate. Which eventually worked. What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use. Unfortunately, nothing. I leave that up the the girls. Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count) Besides excessively speeding (like double the speed limit) a lot, then no. Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer? Maybe about half a gb...? How long was your longest dryspell? 8 months in college. Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances? Never. But I was given the chance and said no. How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 16, and it sucked. Backseat of a 4 door Grand Am...not very pleasant. If you could have any super power what would it be? Why? Time control. Easily the most useful of any super power. What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable? Nothing yet...it has all been pretty much standard. But I know that in a couple months I'll be getting my wings, so that will top the list. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? I might have back when I was young, but I wasn't sure what I saw. If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be? I guess it would have to be Pitt in his Fight Club days....but I would have to be blackout drunk and not remember anything. What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted? Bloody nose from falling off the bed. What was your absolute worst sexual experience? A FwB I was seeing in college, she would flail all around and fall off the bed every time we went at it. What is the moment you wish you could forget most? My Grandpa's death. Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect. Julia Roberts What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in? The fuck? Ghosts maybe? Cheese or butter? Cheese If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? Tobacco since I don't use it, and caffeine since I don't need it. If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it? Nope What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? My computer Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to. Sherald...what's up girl, call me some time. Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers. Shimm/abneretta/No idea... What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period? 3... You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why? Chesty Puller...because he was an awesome Marine...and a BOSS!!! Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you? My foot...I'm pretty fucked What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it? Fucking Goonies. Chunk scared the shit out of me, but I saw it when I was about 12ish. How old are you? 25. How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again? A few years, prison life hurts... Who is the oldest Mod? Chater If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? My own island, about 5sq mi with a mountain, a river, and beaches. Because why the hell not? Why aren't you living there? Military won't buy shit for me... You're stuck in a locked, empty room with Michael Bay, Oprah, and Glenn Beck. You have a gun, with only 1 bullet. Who do you shoot? Oprah, to rid the world of their obsession with that crazy bitch. Then take all her money. If you had to fuck a pre-1995 video game character (how they looked, not a real life analog) who would it be? Who the fuck made this question? That metroid prime chick maybe?? How many different drugs have you tried (and/or liked)? Alcohol...in excess. And nothing else Have you ever done or said something that made somebody/everybody in the room instantly lose respect for you? Don't think so Have you ever worn clothing of the opposite gender without trying to be funny or for costume purposes? No, I only do when I walk 9th ave, then it's strictly business. You have one month to live and money is no object. What would you do? Buy a plane ticket to space. Rent a Koenigsegg CCX and blow out the motor. Punch Alec Baldwin, Sean Penn, and Kanye in the face. Buy a massive house and burn it to the ground Batman style. Fly a jet past mach 1. And hang out with family and friends. What is your freakiest sexual fantasy? Not very freaky, but for the girl to tie me up and have her way with me doing whatever she wants. If you had to change careers what would your new one be, and what would you be switching from? Astronaut from a Helicopter Pilot-to-be. Do you like yourself? Yes, I have a complex. Who are your three favorite posters here and why? Nettdaddy, because he's supermod, and he knows a ton about technical stuff. Pimptress, just because I like the avatar. And Bluedog because everything he says is a gold mine. Who are the three most annoying posters here and why? I don't really have a hated person. What's your favorite guilty pleasure? Detailing my car for half the day. If you could change one of your physical features, what would it be? Be able to put on size when I work out. What's your next meal? Probably some eggs and bacon in the am. Why did you fill out this ridiculous survey? I was stranded at a random Navy airport for 7 hours today, I got bored and started filling this out on my phone. What can you do 3 times a day, every day for a week, every week for a month that will make you happy every time? Eat, sleep, and relax. What's a fictional character that you relate to? Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, Loyal to the True Emporer, Marcus Aurelius. (May or may not be fiction, I don't care) What's your sport? College basketball to watch. Football to play. What was your lowest moment in life? I can't really think of a low moment, but recently I failed a really important flight school test that I was wayyy overconfident for. What do you feel is your greatest achievement? Two months from now, when my parents pin my wings of gold on my chest. What is your greatest vice? Being overly meticulous with my car. What person do you most admire, and why? My Dad, and I'm following his path right now with a few minor exceptions. If you could recommend one book that everyone should read for their own good, what is it? The Art of War, Sun Tzu What is your nickname in real life with all your friends? I've been called Twitch a lo recently...not sure why. In the same context, how did you come up with your Screen Name? I used something similar back on AIM in high school What is your biggest regret in life? Not keeping up with my friends from childhood. If you were sent to hell what movie would be playing on loop that you would be forced to watch (for you personally)? Sex and the City. Hands down. If you could only use one sexual position for the rest of your life what would it be? Cowgirl. Did you ever sleep with a stuffed animal? If so, what was it and do you still have it? Damn straight I did, It was a huge stuffed dog. And I don't have it anymore, I had to wash him after he started to smell off a bit, and his fur got all jacked up. I cried when I gave him away. If you could instantly start up a new alcohol company what type of booze would you sell? Whiskey. What would you name it? Jill. To get the ladies drinking whiskey...think about it. New Questions: If you could travel back in time, when would you go and why? What is the very first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Zombie Apocalypse happens in the blink of an eye and the only thing you have to defend yourself with is to your immediate left, what is it and would you survive?