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The Ask/Tell Thread, Part Deux

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DrFrylock, May 4, 2011.

  1. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
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    We've done this thread before and it worked out well. It changes every time, so I thought I'd bring it back.

    Here is how the thread works:

    • I will "prime the pump" by asking a couple of questions.
    • The first poster answers those questions, and adds two or three of his/her own.
    • Questions should be "short answer" - requiring at most 2-3 sentences to answer.
    • The next poster answers all the above questions, and repeats the process. Each post gets subsequently longer and more revealing.
    • No skipping questions.
    • You must answer truthfully.
    • No banter - questions and answers only.
    • If two people post simultaneously or near-simultaneously, the next poster must do his/her best to answer all above questions and get things back on track.
    • Questions in bold, answers in non-bold.

    THE LIST

    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart (for straight guys/lesbians) or Bill Gates (for straight girls/gay dudes) if given the opportunity?
     
  2. Mantis Toboggan M.D.

    Mantis Toboggan M.D.
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    About 6 hours or so. Had a fuckbuddy over in the afternoon, drove her home, came back and played XBox for a few hours, then went out on a date which proceeded to go well.

    September 2006 (maybe August, it was Labor Day weekend) - Bryn Mawr, PA - Public intoxication and disorderly conduct (read: pissing in an alley; I was shithammered, we were waiting for a cab, and we were near Villanova on the first weekend of school so cops were being assholes)

    September 2006 (exactly 2 weeks later) - Raleigh, NC - Trespassing (got kicked out of the BC-NC State football game, snuck back in, and in my drunken genius went back to my section and walked right past the same cop who had kicked me out 10 minutes earlier)

    January 2011 - Sierra Vista, AZ - Assault (some douchebag roided-up bouncer claimed I hit him which was complete bullshit; charges were dropped)

    Just for the sake of doing it or am I getting some money out of the deal?? I'll do it for....fuck it, $100. $500 if I can't get drunk first.

    For straight men - if you were forced to have sex with a man with an average-sized dick, but you got to choose to be the pitcher or catcher, which would you take?

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
     
  3. scootah

    scootah
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    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart (for straight guys/lesbians) or Bill Gates (for straight girls/gay dudes) if given the opportunity?

    For straight men - if you were forced to have sex with a man with an average-sized dick, but you got to choose to be the pitcher or catcher, which would you take?

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?


    A second? Maybe 2. They were laying on top of each other at the time, so it wasn't a time consuming move. Shortest between two unrelated partners (IE not a threesome/swingers party/etc - two different hookups) - about an hour. Dropped girl 1 home, got home, changed sheets and made a sandwich, girl two arrived.

    No.

    Yes to both. Neither of them are repugnant enough to discourage me from being able to honestly tell that story in a bar later.

    Not straight. But my preferred role with guys is pitcher.

    And I'd hook up with Bill Gates for a bar story, clearly I've got no moral issues with sex for exchanged goods. But I can't think of any where I tried to hook up with someone so that they could give me something. I did provide professional fantasy services that included sex for a very short time (fucked two people, participated in scenarios where someone got fucked a couple of other times) - but seems out of keeping with the core of the question. It was more a pure enjoyment of the scenario thing. The money wasn't worth the hassle - but it was a lot of fun.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
     
  4. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart (for straight guys/lesbians) or Bill Gates (for straight girls/gay dudes) if given the opportunity?

    For straight men - if you were forced to have sex with a man with an average-sized dick, but you got to choose to be the pitcher or catcher, which would you take?

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?



    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)



    Probably a week. I know kind of lame but hey Im working on it.

    I was arrested for a DUI when I flipped my friends Toyota Tacoma into a lady's front yard. I fought the charge and won.

    Yes I'd bang Martha Stewart. She's mildly attractive for an older women and she's famous. I mean I fucked a beluga whale girl once while blacked out, it'd make a Martha bang a ten.

    If given the choice in gay sex I don't know a single straight man who'd actually pick catcher. WTF? The dudes cock'n'balls shouldnt even factor into the equation. If you were the pitcher you could just close your eyes and imagine it was a chicks ass.

    Ive had sex with a girl among other reasons just so I could have access to her circle of girlfriends. It wasn't the sole reason but it factored in knowing I wasn't going to be in a serious relationship with her.

    Don't know about kinky shit. I guess Id be embarrassed by some of the genres of porn I like, if other people found out. But not really. Sorry dude, I barely ever even use lube when jacking it, kind of boring.

    Aside from the drunk driving thing Ive done, or been in close proximity to, very illegal things but not wholly dangerous or life threatening. I guess the most fucked up thing was having a life long friend ask me to help him cover up some serious shit. I refused to actually help but basically let him do it without telling anyone, I probably could have been charged with complicity for knowing about it and not turning him in. No I will not share what it was don't ask.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?

    How long was your longest dryspell?

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
     
  5. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
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    Future posters: please interleave your answers with the questions for readability. Thanks, The Management.
     
  6. Juice

    Juice
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    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    8 hours. One booty call to another.

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    I accidently killed a bald eagle. I was driving to work and an injured bald eagle was in the road and not paying attention, I ran it over. A cop had been called prior to this about the injured bird, and arrived shortly after and clearly saw that I ran it over. The charges were dropped the next day.

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart (for straight guys/lesbians) or Bill Gates (for straight girls/gay dudes) if given the opportunity?
    Will they give me money after? If so Ill do Martha Stewart. Only from behind though, she looks like she has downs syndrome.

    For straight men - if you were forced to have sex with a man with an average-sized dick, but you got to choose to be the pitcher or catcher, which would you take?
    Pitcher fo sho.

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    Not really, I havent really been that hard up for anything (excuse the pun) for which the resolution was fucking someone ugly.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    Nothing really, except maybe my laptop? You can do that math...

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    Driving drunk was probably the most dangerously illegal thing Ive done. I came pretty close to pulling a gun and killing a mugger once, but Ive posted that story before.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?
    I used to use Kazaa and Morpheus before that, so i had about 500 megs to 1 gig at any one time. Nothing impressive. It was always changing though. Im fickle with my masturbatory codex.

    How long was your longest dryspell?
    6 Months. It was when I was living by myself and working in a desolate area. Then again, if you count my hand, then about 8-10 hours.

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
    I nearly had sex with a stripper once, but I didnt have a condom and wasnt about to go without one. I am very thankful that I didnt.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?
     
  7. hamshackler

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    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    Within the course of a weekend, but definitely not within 24 hours.

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    Nope.

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart (for straight guys/lesbians) or Bill Gates (for straight girls/gay dudes) if given the opportunity?
    Are you kidding me? Of course I would fuck Martha. Think about how good the sandwich would be afterwards.

    For straight men - if you were forced to have sex with a man with an average-sized dick, but you got to choose to be the pitcher or catcher, which would you take?
    Pitcher. Guys, if you pick catcher, I have some shocking news for you. You're gay.

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    While I've had plenty of sex with people I'm not attracted to, I've never gotten anything out of it other than a sense of lost pride and a busted nut.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    Laptop + lube. Nothing special.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    Driving drunk back in my high school days.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?
    By the time I got a personal computer, streaming was already the main source of porn. On my family's computer, I'd use and discard. So I guess zero.

    How long was your longest dryspell?
    Probably 6 months or so. Got real hung up on a girl and it stole my mojo.

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
    Nope.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?
    Sixteen. Yes, I loved all 30 seconds of it.

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?
    Other than the obvious (flying), it would be to be able to drink with no hangover. But that already is a superpower, it's called marijuana. So I supposed it'd be the power to always pass a drug test.

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?




    Edited to indicate it'd be Martha, not Bill that I'd sleep with
     
  8. Flagrant

    Flagrant
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    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    Not counting Oral, probably somewhere in the 3 day range

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    nope

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart (for straight guys/lesbians) or Bill Gates (for straight girls/gay dudes) if given the opportunity?
    Only if money changed hands (in my favor). And she would have to cook me a banging meal afterwards

    For straight men - if you were forced to have sex with a man with an average-sized dick, but you got to choose to be the pitcher or catcher, which would you take?
    Pitcher

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    Na, I've hooked up with some less than attractive people, but usually on my own volition

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    I'm boring, I have nothing really other than my box of rubbers and ky.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    I've made the horrible mistake of driving drunk before. And high, but i don't find that as bad.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?
    Nothing more than a gig for sure

    How long was your longest dryspell?
    After I lost my virginity, 3 months.

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
    Nope, but I have an ex girlfriend who's a whore.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?
    I was 18, it was awesome. My roommate that was on the top bunk may tend to disagree.

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?
    Being able to glimpse the outcomes of major sporting events with 100% accuracy.

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?
    9/11 was burned into my brain, I know exactly where I was when it happened, and it is not something I will ever forget.

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?
    Thankfully no, you sick fuck.

    If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be

    What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted?
     
  9. rei

    rei
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    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    Somewhere around 30 hours

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    No.

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart (for straight guys/lesbians) or Bill Gates (for straight girls/gay dudes) if given the opportunity?
    I don't have huge beef with Martha Stewart, so probably as she's loaded and can cook

    For straight men - if you were forced to have sex with a man with an average-sized dick, but you got to choose to be the pitcher or catcher, which would you take?
    Pitcher

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    Girl stole my bass then years later decided she wanted to get down. I just wanted to get my bass back.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    I used to have one of those razer scooters? But seriously, I don't know.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    Driving high. I know some people are great at this, but I should never, ever do this, and never will again. There's nothing creepier than driving and it seeming like the stop sign is getting farther away.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?
    I still have 500+ gb, but I don't watch all that much of it - it was mostly to crank my ratio on Empornium and PureTNA. Assholes shutting down when I had ratios of like, 12.

    How long was your longest dryspell?
    Ten months, post-losing-virginity.

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
    Sort of. A girl I knew who would occasionally blow me offered to fuck me a few times for help her with rent.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?
    19. It was okay - I didn't actually finish.

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?
    Invisibility. And not just because I'm a sick fuck. Insider information would be immensely valuable.

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?
    You'd remember it too if it took you 19 years to get laid.
    But seriously, I don't think I'll ever forget my weekend at Lollapalooza.

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?
    No.

    If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be
    Alan Rickman. Don't think too much into this.

    What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted?[/quote]
    I bruised my girlfriend's cervix once. I still am not sure HOW I did this.

    What was your absolute worst sexual experience?

    What is the moment you wish you could forget most?
     
  10. lostalldoubt86

    lostalldoubt86
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    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    2 days. I had sex with my fuck buddy to celebrate the fact that I was the last of the four people living in my apartment to go home for the summer. Then two days later had a one night stand.

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    Nope

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart (for straight guys/lesbians) or Bill Gates (for straight girls/gay dudes) if given the opportunity?
    No. I get into trouble when I sleep with married guys.

    For straight men - if you were forced to have sex with a man with an average-sized dick, but you got to choose to be the pitcher or catcher, which would you take?
    Not applicable.

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    I was only physically attracted to the one night stand from question 1 if that counts.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    I used to sell Pure Romance products, so I have a box of vibrators in my closet. Because I don't sell that stuff anymore, I make use of the products.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    Driving high is probably the most illegal thing I do.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?
    None. I shared the computer with my family.

    How long was your longest dryspell?
    The last time I had sex was New Years Day.

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
    Nope.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?
    22. I was drunk, but the feeling of accomplishment was pretty great.

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?
    Selective mind reading. i say selective, because mind reading I could not control would probably drive me crazy. I want it because I find people interesting and I'm always wondering what they are thinking

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?

    Do the last two years of college count? They were memorable because it was the first time I ever lived away from my parents.

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?
    Yes, and I have no idea because they were under the covers.

    If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be?
    Amanda Bynes.

    What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted?
    I've told this story, but two bruised boobs and a sore as the day before my college graduation.

    What was your absolute worst sexual experience?

    See the questions above

    What is the moment you wish you could forget most?
    I have generalized anxiety disorder, every moment I have ever made of fool of myself is one I would like to forget so that I can stop obsessing over it.

    Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect.

    What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in?
     
  11. Hoosiermess

    Hoosiermess
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    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?

    A day or two, I had a pretty decent streak running a couple years back.

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?

    Unfortunately I was lucky enough to avoid arrest... Until I turned 18. First illegal consumption was shortly after my 18th birthday and then my parents decided I would have to miss the Spanish travel club trip to Mexico. Not unrelated my second illegal consumption happened three months later. Fast forward to 20 years old, sitting behind a friends house at a BBQ. Cops were called. Got sentenced and put on probation the day before my 21st b-day. I've never been drug tested so much in my life as I was that year. Felt like Lance Armstrong. OWI about four years ago. That was fucking expensive but I deserved it. I think I spot a trend....hmmm I think cops don't like me.


    Would you do it with Martha Stewart (for straight guys/lesbians) or Bill Gates (for straight girls/gay dudes) if given the opportunity?

    Martha Stewart? I think I've done worse and that would be a tellable story, not so much Bill Gates. Although when the king of pop paid out $25Million to hush up some kid he molested I thought I'd take it in the ass for that much and Gates can afford it.

    For straight men - if you were forced to have sex with a man with an average-sized dick, but you got to choose to be the pitcher or catcher, which would you take?

    Pitcher, no question.

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?

    Yes, I had a FWB for a couple years who I was not attracted to. I was hoping to nut, she helped with that. Mission accomplished.


    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.

    I have a pocket pussy that was bought as a gift. As conservative as my parents are they would probably drop dead of simultaneous heart attacks if they ever knew about it.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)

    See the double dare thread. In all honesty I should be dead or in jail for the things I did when I was younger. The pig killing was not an isolated incident (the only time I killed a pig though). Sprinkle in numerous stupid kid shit and there is my life.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?

    I don’t think I ever downloaded any, but at the same time my parents didn’t do the technology thing and we never had internet until I was out of the house. It’s Indiana, Al Gore left us out when he invented the internet.


    How long was your longest dryspell?

    I think I’m currently around two years. I don’t suck THAT bad but I haven’t been trying. I was working full time and going to school for the last three years and chasing tail was getting in the way so I took a break.


    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?

    Yes, Vegas. I was a 25 year old virgin. I was in Vegas. Who wouldn’t? I guess maybe I do suck THAT bad.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?

    As I said above, 25. The experience removed some of the fantasies and thoughts I had about sex but it was enjoyable. After that I had a pretty good streak going for a while…then I went back to school, lost my license, and found the desert.


    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?

    Telepathy, (mind reading) I figure reading other’s minds has got to be worth while, especially if I could plant thoughts.


    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?

    Skydiving. I’m afraid of heights so this was amazing. Climbing out of the plane at 4000 feet wasn’t as scary as I had imagined because the ground seemed so far away. I was even fine hanging from the strut under the wing. It wasn’t until I let go that I freaked. Luckily that high up no one could hear me scream. I would do it again. Also that same day as we all went out to a bar I told the guys the only thing that would make the day better is to get laid. Ran into Mary, who I'd hooked up with before, and finished the night out right.

    I'm going to give honorable mention here to the day my youngest niece was born normal. They had many difficulties and we were called to the hospital three months early (the same day my grandmother died) thinking the baby was coming, this was a NICU, and my brother came out so fucked up he could barely form sentences. We all broke down. Hydrops. We thought she was a goner but after a month in another more advanced NICU, Indianapolis, she was born. Alert, happy, and very cute. Truely amazing.

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?

    Yes, my sister knew they were and sent me in to “wake” them up for breakfast. They were laying side by side. My father is a large man and would crush her if he was on top. Not something I would wish to repeat.
     
  12. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    Jesus... Yall have sex on the brain this morning, huh?

    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    1 Day. Once after a crawfish boil for my brother's graduation, and the next day when I went back to school and went out after celebrating moving in with my new roommates.

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    Nope.

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart (for straight guys/lesbians) or Bill Gates (for straight girls/gay dudes) if given the opportunity?
    Sure!

    For straight men - if you were forced to have sex with a man with an average-sized dick, but you got to choose to be the pitcher or catcher, which would you take?
    These kinda questions always remind me of the old adage- If you were fucking someone in the ass in a bathroom with a slippery floor, and JUST FOR LEVERAGE so you don't slip and fall down, you you give him a reach-around. Does that make you gay? 'Cause, you know, you only did it so you didn't fall down.

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    Not to get something out of it, no.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    A full Indian Chief headdress, a pair of maracas, a 5 gallon bucket of silly putty, and a vintage Teddy Ruxpin doll that is loaded with the cassette single of Michael Bolton's "How Can We Be Lovers If We Can't Be Friends". DON'T JUDGE ME.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    I really don't like to write about this, but when we go down the river, we get drunk and jump on alligators at night. I'm not kidding at all, we really do this. A LOT. And every once and a while, we butcher one that we catch and eat it the next day. Wildlife and Fisheries REALLY don't like it when you do this.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?
    I don't know... Like, seven?

    How long was your longest dryspell?
    Don't know. I'm really more of a relationship guy than I am a one-night-stand kinda guy. So I never really worried about a time frame. It just happens when it happens, I've always thought.

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
    Nope. But I once bought a pair of shoes, and the one that I didn't try on at the store was a different size. Pretty sure I got fucked on that deal.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?
    16 or 17. It was awesome (for me)!

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?
    You know that guy from the first season of "Heroes" who got the powers of every other super-powered person he met? I'd want to be that guy.

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?
    I have a few that come to mind that are all pretty good, so it would be hard to single out one as the best. Can I say "My kid being born", even though it is still a few days away? You know what- eff yall, I'm doing that one anyway.

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?
    When I was like 6 I saw my parents in the shower together. That was fun.

    If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be?
    Jesus, how many "Are You Really Gay" questions do yall plan on asking? Just until someone breaks down and just fucking comes out yelling "YOU GOT ME FUCKERS! I LOVE THE COCK, AND YOU FUCKSTICKS CAN'T STOP ME WOOOOOOOOOO!"?

    But, on that note, Gene Hackman. GGGRRRRRRRR!
    What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted?
    The night mentioned above that was after my brother's crawfish boil, we did it in the pool at my parents' house. She had her back up against the side of the pool, and I was up against her like a standing missionary. This caused my knees to be scraped to shit against the cement wall of the pool, which my football coach noticed when I went back to school. I told him I fell while building a bulkhead.

    What was your absolute worst sexual experience?
    The ones when I was drunk and didn't really care about the other person. I always felt bad the next day.

    What is the moment you wish you could forget most?
    The one where I confessed to wanting to do it with Gene Hackman.

    Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect.
    No idea. I'm having a hard time just thinking of a celebrity that I respect- male or female. How about the chick that wrote the "Harry Potter" books" Yeah, those were good.

    What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in?[/quote]
    I think there is a creature called "The Wolfalodian" that lives in the Andies. The legs on one side of it's body are longer than the other, so that it can walk on the side of the mountain. If it stands on flat land... It falls over. The Wolfalodian is kind of an idiot.

    Mine:
    If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick?
     
  13. lhprop1

    lhprop1
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    1,164
    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    Maybe a day or two. I don't know. I don't keep records.

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    Disorderly conduct. I punched the glass out of a fire extinguisher. The police disagreed with my contention that my bloody hand and the broken glass were unrelated.

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity?
    Only if she promised to bake me a cake afterward.

    For straight men - if you were forced to have sex with a man with an average-sized dick, but you got to choose to be the pitcher or catcher, which would you take?
    What, no 69 option?

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    The only thing I've ever tried to get out of sex is an orgasm.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    I have a deck of nudie girl playing cards. Does that count?

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    Drunk driving. In my underwear. And walking into a C store filled with cops at 2am.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?
    None. I don't own a computer.

    How long was your longest dryspell?
    I don't know. I don't keep records. 6 months, maybe?

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
    No.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?
    18 or 19. I was scared as fuck and I think I came before I even stuck it in.

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?
    I would be Traffic Man and would have the ability to point my finger and proclaim "Revoked!" to tailgaters, people driving slow in the left lane, people driving minivans, and people just driving stupid in general. The result of the proclamation of revocation would be that their car instantly stalls and won't start for 2 hours.

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?
    Either my wedding or catching my first muskie.

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?
    No, but I heard them one night.

    If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be?
    Jesus, how many "Are You Really Gay" questions do yall plan on asking? Just until someone breaks down and just fucking comes out yelling "YOU GOT ME FUCKERS! I LOVE THE COCK, AND YOU FUCKSTICKS CAN'T STOP ME WOOOOOOOOOO!"?

    What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted?
    I'm invincible. I can't be harmed. As a benefit to women who fuck me, they also are protected under my umbrella of invincibility during the act of coitus.

    What was your absolute worst sexual experience?
    The 2 hour beej from the fat chick.

    What is the moment you wish you could forget most?
    The 2 hour beej from the fat chick.

    Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect.
    Hilary Clinton

    What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in?
    I believe that there is a fish bigger than any other ever seen that will bite on my hook some day.

    If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick?
    How dare you, motherfucker! That is an evil, evil question. I would rather answer a thousand hypothetical gay questions than have to make this choice. I hope you develop lactose intolerance. Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!

    Mine:
    If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be?

    If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it?
     
  14. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
    Expand Collapse
    The Big Four-Oh

    Reputation:
    380
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,910
    Location:
    The T-dot O-dot one-of-a-kind
    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    12 hours. I was slutty in university.

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    No.

    Would you do it with Bill Gates if given the opportunity?
    Sure. He ties in nicely with my Galen Weston sex fantasies.

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    I fucked my ex after "the spark was gone" so that he'd fix my computer. Does that count?

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    Kinkiest - anal beads.
    Most inappropriate - a non-stick wok. Mom would be more upset about this one than the beads.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    I used to text and drive stick at the same time. Now I'm old and can't seem to coordinate all that at once.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?
    I don't know. Maybe a gig or so.

    How long was your longest dryspell?
    8 months after a really bad break-up. 8 straight months of celibacy, Ben and Jerry's, and When Harry Met Sally. Jesus.

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
    No.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?
    16. As mentioned in earlier posts, I was gagged and handcuffed to a wall, and a butt plug was involved. It was pretty sweet.

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?
    Invincibility. Duh.

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?
    The day my brother was almost killed in a car accident. That day is burned in my memory.

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?
    Never.

    If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be?
    Zoe Saldana. If I reeeeeeeally had to.

    What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted?
    Pile driver + IUD = bruised cervix.

    What was your absolute worst sexual experience?
    The guy who cheered for himself when he came. Like, "Give me an M, give me an A..."

    What is the moment you wish you could forget most?
    That one where my brother was almost killed.

    Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect.
    Warren Buffett.

    What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in?
    Alchemy.

    If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick?
    Cheese.

    If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be?
    Well, I've given up tobacco, and I'm not a huge drinker. So either of those. Caffeine? Fuck you.

    If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it?
    I'd need a lot more than $100,000 to even consider it. No.

    Mine:
    What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now?
     
  15. gtg2k

    gtg2k
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    170
    Location:
    The House That Lawler Built
    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    During a threesome, a matter of minutes. Outside the threesome, maybe 3-4 hours.

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    No.

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity?
    Why the hell not? I bet she likes some real kinky shit.

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    Have considered it, but no.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.

    The wife and I have a collection of sex toys that might shock the hell out of our families.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    Driving a stick while out of my head on a mix of booze, weed, and coke. Sex in numerous public places. What can I say, I'm an exhibitionist.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?
    No clue.

    How long was your longest dryspell?
    Intercourse: 9 months. Any kind of sexual activity (getting head): 3 months.

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
    No.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience? 18, and loved every minute of it.

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?
    Ability to have any woman I wanted to sleep with me. On a serious note, seeing into the future.

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?
    The day my wife and I started dating.

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in? Yep. Dad was going down on Mom. <shudders and pukes>


    If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be?
    The Rock. Don't judge me.

    What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted?
    Pulled muscles on multiple occasions.


    What was your absolute worst sexual experience?
    The time my ex-girlfriend tried to stick something up my butt.


    What is the moment you wish you could forget most?
    Seeing a guy get thrown 20 feet in the air by a car and dying on impact.


    Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect.
    Sharon Osbourne, just because she seems like a lot of fun.

    What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in?
    Whatever ESP and that sort of thing falls into.


    If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick?
    I'd probably off myself if I had to do this. BlueDog, you're sadistic for putting this in there.


    If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be?
    SInce it's not one I use, tobacco.


    If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it?
    Wow, this is twisted. No, not enough money.


    What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now? I can't pick between my dogs and my laptop. Everything else can go.

    New questions:
    Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to.
    Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers.
     
  16. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    401
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,974
    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    I'm a mater. So months. Dangerous liaisons don't interest me as much as they should.

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    Nay. Of all the stupid shit I've done, not even close. Some people are just shit magnets.

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity?
    Rich, powerful, and I bet her vagina is scented with lavish soaps and potpourri.

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    The women I know have nothing but sex to offer people. Sometimes not even that.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    Handcuffs are the only sanitary thing you can re-use. Once tried to use a Red Lobster bib during oral. Didn't go over well.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    Drunk driving. A lot. Lots of stolen city property from construction sites when I was a kid. No idea how to dispose of a 8'x6' construction sign.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?

    At least 10. Kazaa for the win, motherfuckers.

    How long was your longest dryspell?

    Over a year. Couldn't stand anybody near me. Long story that somehow doesn't involve prison rape.

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?

    Is it technically paying when you jump kick her in the ribs then dive out the window laughing and clutching the wad of bills you took back?

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?
    16. Both virgins. Extra strength condoms that were so thick I couldn't feel shit. Didn't know I was in until she yelped in pain. Looked like arterial splatter in CSI when we were done.

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?

    Psychic abilities, reading minds. I like to know what people are really thinking. Flying would also be swank for obvious reasons.

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?

    When I learned how to undo my overalls and go potty like a big boy. That was an awesome 21st b-day.

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?
    I want so bad for someone to recall their first memory being their parents pile driving with the opening of Night Court in the back ground.


    If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be?

    Sean Penn. Degrading, hair-pulling, ass to mouth, Rocco Siffredi, prison sex. I hate that smug fucker.

    What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted?

    Knee to the junk. It didn't stop me long.

    What was your absolute worst sexual experience?

    Recounted it before. Let's just say I was about to love a woman that was unclean. And I don't mean she didn't shower that day.

    What is the moment you wish you could forget most?

    None of them. I need them all.

    Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect.

    Katherine Hepburn would have been a blast to be around. She wouldn't let you get away with anything.

    What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in?

    Bigfoot. I want bigfoot to be real. If he's real, we can catch him. If we can catch him, we can breed him. If we breed him... Bigfoot steaks.

    If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick?

    Do away with butter. I use olive and vegetable oil mostly anyway. You can make a fine roux with oil. An even finer one with duck fat. Mmmm duck fat gravy. You can't replace stinky foot cheese.

    If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be?
    Don't do much caffeine, don't smoke. On day 24 of sobriety. On day 30 I combine all of those things into one substance covered in manatee steaks.

    If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it?

    If I say yes, that's disgusting. If I say no, I'm implying my father is an unattractive man. Luckily, he's dead. Problem solved.

    What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now?
    Monetarily, my guitar. Personal value, my penis. In the event of a raging fire you can bet your ass I'm taking me and my balls out the escape window before I try to salvage any baubles.

    Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to.
    I never kiss and tell. But she's absolutely lovely.

    Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers.
    It'd probably end up in that order with the same person.

    New Questions:
    What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period?

    You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why?

    Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you?
     
  17. Jimmy James

    Jimmy James
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    195
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,991
    Location:
    Washington. The state.
    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    A few months. I'm a loser that way.

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    Yes. Failure to appear as a witness. Raise your hand if you like being rousted out of bed by a sheriff's deputy the size of a linebacker.

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity?
    That's a story you can brag about later. Yes.

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    I try to not put myself in a situation where I'd have to whore myself out.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    I used to own a pocket pussy via a gift from an ex. Tossed it because it's worth using.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    I drove home black out drunk once. Never again.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?
    30, I think.

    How long was your longest dryspell?
    I'm coming up on a year. That's way more depressing when it's typed out.

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
    No, but it might be fun.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?
    24. I wasn't sure what the big deal was it happened, but it was nice.

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?
    Time travel. I wanna see Jesus being crucified.

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?
    I nearly electrocuted myself when I was four. My thumbs were scorched black, the eyebrows and lashes were burned off, and I was in a coma for a couple of days.

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?
    Yes. Missionary, under a sheet, thank Christ.

    If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be?
    Gerard Butler. Hopefully he'd donkey punch me so hard I didn't remember anything.

    What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted?
    Sustained: My ex broke a switch over my back and ass that left welts. I got mouthy and deserved it.
    Inflicted: Left welts on my ex with a leather cat-o-nine tails.

    What was your absolute worst sexual experience?
    Driving 4 hours to find out my hookup was shaped like the Kool-Aid guy. Thanks, misleading internet pictures.


    What is the moment you wish you could forget most?
    Seeing the above naked.

    Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect.
    Oprah. She's rich and powerful beyond measure.

    What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in?
    I don't.

    If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick?
    Cheese, but I'd risk death for butter.


    If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? .
    Alcohol. It's nice to have, but I require the other two to live.

    If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it?
    My dad would beat the shit out of me if I even came near him with my tongue out. And no.

    What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now?
    My laptop.

    Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to.
    BrightEyes. She visited my OkCupid thingy. Hot and English accent = sexual assault.

    Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers.
    Fuck: BrightEyes
    Marry: Pinkcup
    Kill: KIMaster

    What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period?
    6. It hurt to touch after a while.

    You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why?
    Kurt Cobain. He had so much more to give.

    Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you?
    My laptop, and I'm totally fucked.

    New: The world is ending. You have one person you can save. Who is it and why?
    My brother. He's one of the few people I implicitly trust.
     
  18. BrianH

    BrianH
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    499
    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    Same day.

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    Multiple times. Worst was for resisting arrest for public intoxication.... when I was sober. This included a nice tazing.

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity?
    Absolutely. I've fucked nearly that old.

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    I took a road trip with a buddy where we tried to have a place to sleep every night... and we couldn't sleep in the truck or a hotel room. I fucked 4 ugly girls (and 3 beauties) in 10 days to make this happen.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    I don't really own anything "kinky", per se.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    Gosh, tons of times. The worst stuff I can't say even here, because it would jeopardize my freedom. But I guess that comes with the job.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?
    Less than 1 or 2. I was always good at getting free passwords from IRC channels.

    How long was your longest dryspell?
    Probably 3 months in college. I don't count deployments, especially ones where I'm in a committed relationship, as dry spells.

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
    Yep, in multiple countries. It was always out of boredom, and all times except one (in Thailand) is wasn't worth it. In Pattiya, it was BEYOND worth it. Easily some of the greatest nights of my life, for very little money.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?
    18. In college, which this ridiculously hot girl I had no business being with. I loved it, but was definitely embarrassed by my performance. Rightfully so, as she dumped me due to my one-pump-chumpedness.

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?
    Invisibility / being able to become a ghost. Pass through walls and such. I would own the planet.

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?
    I met my first love in the 8th grade, and lusted after her for YEARS. I finally won her in college, and we dated for a year and a half. I was 20 and a shitty boyfriend, and she dumped me. She was a virgin, and the whole time I was very mindful of that fact and wanted her first time to be special, and when she was ready (I was an idiot). Obviously that perfect moment never happened, and I never deflowered her.

    Years later, she told me that I had the opportunity many times. I was so pissed at myself. Enraged at my stupidity. She made it all better by fucking me. Well. That night was fucking awesome.

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?
    No, thank god. They are smart enough to lock the door.

    If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be?
    Someone pretty, like Zac Efron.

    What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted?
    Nothing fancy other than the assorted rug burns and bruises.

    What was your absolute worst sexual experience?
    Nettdata and the rest of the mods, you already know this one.

    What is the moment you wish you could forget most?
    The above.

    Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect.
    Condi Rice. I have no idea why. Maybe her cameo on 30 Rock.

    What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in?
    None, because I'm not a fucking idiot.

    If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick?
    Cheese, because I can eat it plain. This is a dumb question.

    If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be? .
    Caffeine, easily. The other two are far better vices.

    If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it?
    100 grand, for 5 minutes work? Absolutely.

    What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now?
    My camera system.

    Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to.
    None, really. If I had to pick one, I'd say Shimmered. Athletics chicks are my thing.

    Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers.
    Fuck: Pinkcup
    Marry: Tx
    Kill: All the rest.

    What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period?
    5, I think. When you are away from porn for months, and then happen upon a terrific stash... well... you get to it.

    You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why?
    Thomas Jefferson, just so he could tell everyone in the country who evokes him and the other founding fathers to shut the fuck up.

    Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you?
    This is perhaps the most idiotic question ever.

    The world is ending. You have one person you can save. Who is it and why?
    Jessica Biel, because then she'd HAVE to fuck me.

    Have you ever made a sex tape? How did it turn out? Did it get leaked?
    The craziest girl I've ever dated made one, and I honestly have no idea where it is. I'm sure she still has it. I never got to watch it, cunt.
     
  19. Nick

    Nick
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    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    236
    Location:
    Chicago
    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    1 day, although if you want to include the crazy bitch I dated in Dallas for several months, the answer is seconds.

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    No.

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity?
    Probably. If she was in the mood.

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    No.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    My wife and I have several dildos, although technically, she is the rightful owner.

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    Mostly just drunk driving. I masturbated while driving once. While I was drunk.

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?

    None really. I'm a bit older than the average TIB'er, and I learned how to masturbate the old fashioned way - under my covers with a Spiegel catelog. When the Internet came around, I was more into 2-dimensional porno, so I usually just askedjeeves for "big boobs on naked ladies without much hair" and that did the trick.

    How long was your longest dryspell?

    2 or 3 months probably.

    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?

    No.

    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?
    18. I had performance issues, so no, it wasn't that great.

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?

    I would be able to have a 60-minute string of consecutive orgasms.

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?

    Getting married. Not sure there's much to say about it.

    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?
    No. But if I had, it definitely would have been doggiestyle. I think it runs in the family.

    If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be?

    Steve Gutenberg.

    What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted?

    Bent weiner. That's the medical term I think.

    What was your absolute worst sexual experience?

    Earning my red-wings. 50 or 60 times.

    What is the moment you wish you could forget most?

    9/11 fucked me up somewhat. I was in NY for my first ever business trip on 9/11 and I was stuck there for 5 days before I could get on a flight back to Chicago. It was the first time really felt uneasy and helpless. People were walking aimlessly through the streets for days and days after the attacks. It was pretty eery.

    Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect.

    Roseanne.

    What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in?

    Leprechauns fo reelz.

    If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick?

    Cheese.

    If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be?

    Booze. I quit smoking about 2 years ago, and I am a total wreck without coffee.

    If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it?

    No. $100,000? That's chump change.

    What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now?
    My Blackberry. I've been using a BB for over 10 years (when they used to look like pagers). Every contact, phone number, and email I have ever saved is in there. Technically it's all backed up on the outlook server at work, but I'd be fucked if that ever crashed.

    Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to.
    I always wanted to lick the Bunny's butthole. Especially after they posted that picture of her turds on the RMMB. Is she even a member here?

    Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers.
    Bunny/SheGirl/Not Sure. See above for Bunny. I haven't been a regular poster on the board for a long time, but I was always fond of SheGirl - even before she got famous in the mod circuit. I can't really think of anybody I'd kill on this board.

    What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period?
    5.

    You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why?
    I would bring back Walter Payton, so he can be lead singer on the next installment of the Super Bowl Shuffle. Da Bears.

    Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you?
    Keyboard. Mmm. Tasty.

    The world is ending. You have one person you can save. Who is it and why?My wife. Because she makes the best samiches.

    Have you ever made a sex tape? How did it turn out? Did it get leaked?Yes. Terribly, unless you're really into close-up cunnilingus. No...destroyed.

    New Question:

    What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it?Stephen King's Cat's Eye. That troll scared the shit out of me. I finally watched it when I was in high school.
     
  20. JC62

    JC62
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    13
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    158
    What is the shortest interval you've ever had between sex with two different people?
    3 different people over a 16 hour span

    Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?
    No.

    Would you do it with Martha Stewart if given the opportunity?
    Only if she kissed me when I was done

    Have you ever had sex with someone you were not attracted to, in hopes of getting something else (money, crack, McDonald's, a promotion, whatever) out of it?
    No.

    What's the kinkiest/most inappropriate (As in wouldn't want your parents/kids knowing that you own) item that you own and use.
    Nothing I can think of

    Have you ever done something dangerously illegal (pirating music from the intarwebs doesn't count)
    I used to deal coke while working over State lines - if caught I would have really been screwed

    Prior to the advent of streaming websites how many gigabites of pornography did you have on your computer?
    You can get porn on a computer?

    How long was your longest dryspell?
    What's a dryspell?


    Have you ever paid for and had sex with a prostitute? What were the circumstances?
    Yes - a few times in Vegas which was stupid, stupid, stupid. Asian Spa - nothing like a massage with a happy ending!


    How old were you when you first had sex? Did you enjoy the experience?
    15 - it started out as "just the tip" and ended up in heaven

    If you could have any super power what would it be? Why?
    Time travel
    .

    What is the single most memorable moment in your life? What made it so memorable?
    The day my oldest daughter was born - changed my life forever by making me grow up.


    Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? If so, what position were they in?
    Thankfully no

    If you HAD to have sex with a celebrity of the same gender, who would it be?
    ???

    What was the worst (best?) sex related injury you have ever sustained or inflicted?
    Rug burns to the point of bleeding - on her!


    What was your absolute worst sexual experience?
    So so many...


    What is the moment you wish you could forget most?
    The day I held my grandfather in my arms while he died


    Name one celebrity of the opposite sex who is traditionally unattractive, but that you respect.
    Janet Reno

    What aspect of cryptozoology or fringe science do you wholeheartedly believe in?
    ??


    If you had to choose between cheese and butter for the rest of your life, what would you pick?
    Cheese.

    If you had to either give up caffeine, booze, or tobacco for one month, which would it be?
    tobacco


    If someone told you they'd give you $100,000 if you made out with your father for 5 minutes, would you do it?
    Um - no

    What is the most valuable thing to you, in the room where you are right now?
    Pictures of my kids

    Name a TIBer you have a sexual attraction to.
    Pimptress

    Fuck/ Marry/ Kill 3 TIBers.
    Pimptress/ Tx / all the long winded posters

    What is the record amount of times you have masturbated in a 24 hour period?
    6

    You get to bring one person back from the dead, who is it and why?
    My uncle that committed suicide so I can kick his ass for being such a manipulating pussy

    Whatever your left hand is touching at this moment, is now BACON. What is it, and how fucked are you?
    My face - greasy, yuck

    What was the first scary movie you refused to watch as a kid (you know there's at least one), and at which age did you finally bring yourself to view it?
    I have loved scary movies for as long as I can remember

    How old are you?
    48

    How long before Dixie Bandit ends up in the slammer again?
    9 Months

    Who is the oldest Mod?
    Nettdata