I am apparently very hard to shop for. Which boggles me, but ok, whatever. I try very very hard to remember that my family (and friends) are very good to me everyday of the year but there is that tiny part of my brain that will be aghast that no one puts any more enthusiasm into buying gifts for me. I have a feeling that I'll be disappointed at some point tomorrow, if only because that people closest to me don't have any idea who I am (or they know and don't give a shit). [/selfish rant] I'm getting clothes, two pairs of shoes, and some stuff from Sephora... all that I picked out and/or ordered myself. Hopefully, I'll get at least one thing that's a surprise.
I just completed an intelligence sortie on my Christmas presents. Out of the five under the tree, I'm 100 percent sure four are items of clothing. Fuck. (Yes, I have a small family. I consider five presents an up year.)
Pitched in with my brother and got mom and dad a Wii with Mario Kart. This is hilarious. Except they'll probably end up getting a divorce considering how much they're fighting and arguing for fucking each other up with shells and what not.
I always recall going to Aunt Mimi's on Christmas Eve. Uncle Bob would sit me down on his knee, stare into his watery highball and tell me Santa got shot by a sniper so don't expect nothin'. In the summer he'd tell me an arsonist destroyed Disneyland. I never knew if he was joking or not. I only learned not to respond to his words. Later, I realized his dry wit was profitable. He had the perfect poker face. Still later, I learned that was only a third of the reason he lived in such a nice house and never worked. Never learned the rest.
Tonight we had something approaching a traditional Italian Christmas Eve. There was seafood, plenty of booze, and loud arguing. Also, Remy Martin XO cognac. It's good, but not as good as a good scotch, and probably costs more than said scotch would. As for presents, I bought myself, my girlfriend, and her roommate a pair of slippers. Pretty nice ones, too -genuine suede and fake shearling. My girlfriend loves them - they keep her feet warm, they match mine (making them inherently cute), and they are a way of me buying her something cute and fuzzy without buying her another stuffed animal. EDIT: I forgot! Happy Isaac Newton's birthday, you idiots, and may the discrepancy between the classic model of physics and the observed orbit of Mercury never be reconciled!
I'm deployed, so needless to say its just another shitty day, except the lower enlisted get the day off. We did get some cool care packages though. One was from an elementary school and had 10 DVD copies of the Miss Hooter's 2006 and Hooter's 2009 calendars. Which ever teachers decided to raise money to send us tities is alright in my book.
Too funny... Mom and I are up and we're just waiting for Dad to get up, and we're having Mimosas and Bailey's Espressos. We just watched episode 1, season 1, of Dexter, and she's hooked. Odds are we're going to spend the better part of the day watching episode after episode of Dexter. Awesome.
It's a good thing that Christmas is here... between our two puppies and the cats, there aren't a lot of lights in the correct spots around the bottom of the tree.
The boys tore through their mountain of loot like crazed dinosaurs (their favorite "aminal") and are now glutted on the joy that is childhood. I don't feel like a Grinch at this moment.
Merry Christmas to all you assholes. Getting digital camera of my choice from the parents, so great start so far! (Anybody that knows a thing or two about cameras and can help sort me out, it would be much appreciated.) My little sister got me the Perfect Pushup things you see on TV. Looks like a drunk injury waiting to happen later... Oh, and lots of iTunes giftcards and a Munster Rugby training kit. Awesome! Now time to crack the first Milwaukee beast.
I left the Texas coast in temperate weather conditions yesterday and headed north towards Dallas at around 11am. When I drove around the donut road in Waco and jumped on I35 North at around 4pm the snow started falling. By the time I got to The Texas Motor Speedway, traffic had slowed to thirty miles an hour; it was dark and snowing its ass off. Never driven in a snowstorm before. Gum is giving my jaw a good workout at this point. I called a buddy of mine who is from Idaho and Montana, "Dude, I'm in a blizzard! What do I do?" He just told me not to do anything sudden and to get off the phone. I follow the instructions for a while but.......seriously. I drive an F350 Superduty. I figure maybe that's a good thing in a snowstorm and begin checking the boudaries. Really, it takes very little acceleration to spin the back end out, very little breaking, and not much turning to slip the front. At this point I'm almost out of deisal so I pull over to get some. You should have seen the looks I got while pumping my truck up in flip flops and shorts in a snowstorm on Christmas Eve. "I'm from the coast. It's not like this there", was about the best I could do. That was nothing like the hoots and howls I got from the family when I came trudging up the snow covered walk half naked and shivering like a feral dog. There was such a "Look! It's that crazy knuckleheaded Uncle Nitwit from the coast and look what the dumbass did this year! Quick, get him a drink!" vibe that everything shitty about the last year melted away and that good to be around family feeling took over immediately. Slept great. Now it's Christmas. Time to start eating. Merry Christmas, indeed! Hope ya'll all have a Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas everyone. We could lie to ourselves, but come on, Christmas IS about the presents. This year's haul: 1. First Ascent Igniter Jacket. I'm a wuss when it comes to cold, and this thing is so warm it's like giving Old Man Winter the finger. 2. Socks. Not just socks. Dress socks. Thanks, grandma. 3. A nice wool scarf. I've never worn a scarf in my life. Then again, I've never lived this far north before, either. So I'll give it a go. 4. A Polo pajama set that I put on immediately and probably won't take off until Sunday. So comfortable. 5. A warm, thin navy blue sweater that fits perfectly. 6. $250 worth of cash and gift cards, most of which will be blown at REI or on booze. Helloooooo Black Diamond quickdraws. The Return List: A blue button down shirt that could only be worn in a gay bar, and a gray sweater with weird toggles on the shoulders that make me look like a Commie submariner. I'm happy with my loot. Isn't it funny how when you're a dependent it sucks ass to get clothes, but once you're on your own it's the best thing ever? Now I'm settling in for a day with the parents and a small family dinner in the late afternoon. The NBA games should provide some good background entertainment, and tonight's Titans-Chargers NFL game should be a good one. Thank baby Jesus my parents have the NFL Network!
The fact that I asked for and received socks probably marks the end of my childhood. Bickering about taxes and Lawrence Welk Show, here I come! I'm poor as hell these days, so god bless the Christmas cash I got. Turns out I WILL be able to eat next semester. I'm only partially kidding. Merry Christmas, all of you, and god bless you if you're that sort. Happy holidays to the Jews and other assorted heathens.
Agreed. But I got: -a 1964 Winchester model 1200 in 12 guage its a special edition, so its got inlayed 24karot gold, with matching gold accents -a meat dehydrator for making beef jerkey -a few shirts, gloves, a couple new hats -these sick RedHead socks that are guarenteed for life, thats right, you wear them out, you get a new pair -a set of gear wrenches to have as a back up, as well as a pretty good set of adjustable wrenches and just boxers, chocolate and bullets in the stocking
Merry Christmas my fellow idiots! We got a record breaking 14 inches of snow yeterday which is a pretty big deal here in central Oklahoma. The governor declared a state of emergency last night, and all the interatates got closed down. I managed to brave the roads today though to see the family and it looked like a damned war zone out there with cars and semi's abandoned on the sides of the highway. But I made it. Merry Christmas!
With mom's family, we usually only do presents for my younger cousins, but my grandparents gave my brother and me a 2 dollar bill and a 1976 silver dollar each. My grandfather has a pretty big coin collection (foreign & domestic) which I've added to for the past several years (mostly foreign stuff). It didn't cost them anything but it meant a lot to me and my brother. My take from the immediate family: An oh-so-soft Nine West handbag. Work clothes (I'm transitioning back to an office job) Two pairs of shoes (cute wedges & heels) Bliss Blood Orange & White Pepper Body Butter, Hand Cream & Body Wash Stila lip glaze set A couple books & DVDs A new French Press Two pounds of Trader Joe's Peaberry coffee Not bad...
I got Command & Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars and Fallout 3 GOTY Edition. One of which I paid for myself. My real present is when the parents leave for their holiday in 2 days.
I got a bunch of books, 3 of which are about the OSS. Hooray, history of spooks! This, some recent purchases, and combined with my sister's gift of some electric machine (you place the stickers on opposites sides of the muscle you want to stimulate and it goes to town. It's cool, but sorta itchy, and I realize I'm setting up a joke here), we should be getting some questions from various federal agents sometime soon.
3pm and still have not opened presents yet. However last night we did the opening of presents from our extended family. Received a Sweater, Fleece, S&W Knife, some shotgun shells (which are more of a hint to get all the guys together and do some trap shooting), picture frame, couple gift certificates, but the best of all was ONE CAN OF TACTICAL BACON! http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/c399/ This is precooked bacon that comes in a can, and is Delicious! Only my cousin would try it, turns out, he also thought it was delicious. It stays good in the can for ten years. The only downside is it's $15 a can, but that is for 55 strips of bacon, so it may not be that bad of a price. The best part is the "Receive Bacon" reference. I highly recommend this product. I'm taking a trip to the Grand Canyon sometime this year, and after day three of nothing but canned food and (hopefully) fresh caught fish, I will be busting this out to everyone's enjoyment. I'm sure it will be a welcome surprise.