People Who Try to Look Out for My Career Dear Asshole who thinks he knows what's best for me, Take your ideas and shove them up your ass. I have done just fine on my current track, and could really careless if I only get promoted one more time in 10 years. I am more than content to end my service on a team that I believe makes a difference. No, I do not need to try to recruit high school retards, I detest the idea of forming young men into robots, no I do not want to guard an embassy. It would be really nice if you worried about your seriously fucked life, and your 3rd shitty marriage more than how long my hair is and how many deployments I have done in the last 5 years. When I need a break I will tell you, until then stay the fuck out of my career. Belligerently Yours, lugmastro Anyone else have a boss or 8 in my case that keeps trying to "help" you advance?
Dear Wisdom Teeth: We had a pretty good 31 years together. Sorry my wife made me kick you out. At least the lortabs were fun. Bye! Love, UziSuicide
Egyptian Roommate. Leaving the window open. Blasting shitty Egyptian pop music at 4 a.m. Bitching when my desk lamp is on at 7 p.m. Sweat. Smell. Snoring. Sleep apnea. Skyping your family and yelling the same two sentences on and off for twenty minutes straight. Giggling like a schoolgirl. Your lack of volume control. Leaving food around. Guess what, asshole? 38 sprays of Axe is too many. Fuck you. Take more showers.
Dear Boss, You do not pay me nearly enough to give my life to this place. Believe it or not I have a life to live, and children who have this funny idea that I should see them occasionally. Sorry I am not one of the 18-22 year old fuckwhits who you normally hire, and have nothing else going on. I do my job well then I go home and forget about it. So calling me on one of my weekends with my kids, and asking me to work a 13 hour fucking day is NEVER going to go over well. Getting shitty with me about it is just bringing you closer so getting your head bashed in with a bead breaker. Also, 13 hour fucking days, when you are running around and breaking a sweat while working outside in 23 degree weather, with ONE half hour break is just shitty. With love, BigPerson8686