Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

The $90 million teabag...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by AlmostGaunt, Jun 13, 2011.

  1. AlmostGaunt

    AlmostGaunt
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,040
    "A US federal jury in Illinois awarded $US95 million ($90 million) to a woman who said she was the victim of a sexual harassment campaign. She claimed her boss hit her on the head with his genitals before allegedly throwing her down on a couch and masturbating on her chest."

    http://www.smh.com.au/world/record-...ts-employee-with-genitals-20110613-1fzmv.html

    FOCUS: Ignoring the horrifying rape-y aspect of this incident, what is the most egregious example of unprofessional conduct you've ever seen in the workplace? Did you impregnate the bosses daughter? Get blackout drunk and slander the President of the company while he stood behind you? Take too many stimulants to stay awake for 6am shifts and threaten to burn the building down if you weren't paid in hearing of Management (true story, regretfully 'let go' for that one)? What were the repercussions?
     
  2. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
    Expand Collapse
    The White

    Reputation:
    23
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,571
    Sadly (or not) most of the inappropriate behavior has been squeezed out of my company. So I must live vicariously through stories of companies with big sales departments.
     
  3. Bryan

    Bryan
    Expand Collapse
    Average Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    83
    Can't help but think a man wouldn't even get $90 if his female boss motorboated him, then threw him down on the couch and masturbated until squirting over his chest. For $90 million you could hire literally hundreds of thousands of girls to take a load on their tits. Unjust enrichment is an understatement.

    Sidenote, can't tell if Ashley Alford is hot or not through GoogleImages.
     
  4. fuzzzy

    fuzzzy
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    45
    I worked in Residence Life at my university for three years. I was inspired to work as an RA because of the unprofessional behavior of my RA as a freshman. He had originally started off as pre-med, but quickly realized that science courses weren't for him. My 2nd quarter, he bet me that I couldn't get an A in both biology and chemistry. I told him that not only could I do so, but I would do so without attending any lectures (I had taken AP chemistry and biology the year before, so none of it was really new material for me). It was right around the time that Southpark's Imaginationland had come out, so the bet was that he had to suck my balls if I pulled it off, and I had to give him 50 dollars if I couldn't.

    I almost lost the bet. Biology had two exams and a final. After the first two exams, I would have needed a perfect score on the final to pull off the A. That is, until my professor died of a heart attack, the morning that we were supposed to be starting the cardiology unit. We had to have another professor cover the remaining two weeks, and she ended up throwing a massive curve on the final exam.

    As I felt it would be kind of weird for me to put my balls in the dude's mouth, I offered to reduce the sentence to 10 seconds of teabagging, to be given at a time of my choosing with witnesses if I so preferred. I chose to do this after going for a particularly long run during a heat wave near the end of spring quarter, with our entire hallway crammed into his 10 by 10 room.

    Not 5 weeks into the start of the following year, he was fired for stealing sandwiches from the university. He had only been caught stealing three times, for a total of 15 dollars worth of food, but in reality had stolen upwards of 300 dollars worth of sandwiches. This earned him the nickname "The Hamburglar", which has stuck to this day.
     
  5. Noland

    Noland
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    41
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,237
    Location:
    New Orleans
    So are you gay or is having another dude teabag you a common bet where you are?

    I'm not judging, I promise, I'm just trying to figure out if we can make fun of you or not.
     
  6. Juice

    Juice
    Expand Collapse
    Moderately Gender Fluid

    Reputation:
    994
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    9,755
    Location:
    Boston
    Focus:

    I posted this story in the WDT about a month ago, but its relevant to this topic.

     
  7. Disgustipated

    Disgustipated
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    969
    Location:
    Gold Coast, Australia
    We had a client function once at a law firm I worked at where one of the secretaries proceeded to get hammered.

    Her highlights of the night included:

    - showing a partner's wife her tattoo, which was on her upper hip/lower belly... while wearing a dress... that she pulled over her head for the purposes of said display; and
    - spilling a glass of champagne all over my pants leg and then proceeding to get down on all fours and suck it out.

    Classy all the way.

    Runner up was another secretary who got plastered at a chicken and champagne lunch for Melbourne Cup by too much drinkee and not enough eatee, who then proceeded to lock her boss out of his office and dictate letters for him all afternoon on tape. She had no recollection of the events the next day... except we'd kept the tape.
     
  8. Malignity

    Malignity
    Expand Collapse
    Average Idiot

    Reputation:
    5
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    89
    [​IMG]

    No, she is not.
     
  9. Frebis

    Frebis
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    288
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    2,253
    I had to cut back my drinking at company events due to a series of embarrassing events. They usually dealt with me getting drunk and falling over. At the last company outing I witnessed something that will make me cringe for years to come.

    We were talking about how nicknames we give to dumb people. When one guy chimes in with this- "I just call them Dans".

    "What does that mean?"

    "Dumb Ass Ni****"

    I'm not going to type that word because I don't think it is appropriate. My jaw just hit the floor. That isn't something you should say in your own home, let alone a work function. How he wasn't fired on the spot, the world may never know.
     
  10. Frank

    Frank
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    6
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    3,349
    Location:
    Connecticut
    Even if she were, no woman is hot enough where $95 million for a cock slapping is anywhere near fair market value.
     
  11. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    551
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    9,587
    I met a guy in Shanghai that openly bragged about using his company's expense card on hookers so much that in months he didn't frequent them he'd have to make up for it by buying other shit to justify the living expense he averaged. I think he averaged a thousand a month on it, probably 2-3 girls a week. He was one of those guys Chris Rock jokes about, goes out to a regular bar until he gets shot down the first time and then bounces to the hooker bar. Ah, life abroad.
     
  12. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    14
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,185
    Nine times out of ten, I'm in favor of sexual harassment penalties. And obviously, they have to be large enough that they actually discourage behavior rather than provide a minor nuisance.

    But $95 million gives me pause. That's more than their most recently reported net income. In order to pay $95 million....what does that mean for the company as a whole?

    Specifically, I'm worried that innocent people will end up losing their job because someone can't keep his dick in his pants.
     
  13. xrayvision

    xrayvision
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    439
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    5,245
    Location:
    Hyewston
    I believe the law in the state said something to the tune of $43mil is the actual limit allowed. Shit, I'd get cock-slapped all day for that.
     
  14. fuzzzy

    fuzzzy
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    45

    Hey, it isn't gay to teabag a dude, only to be the one to receive said teabag. What's next, are you gonna try to tell me there is something wrong with putting a hairbrush in another man's ass while he sleeps...? Homophobe.

    Actually, I misspoke earlier. I didn't teabag, as apparently that does mean putting your balls in their mouth. What I actually did was more close to arabian sunglasses, as I put my balls on his face.
     
  15. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    546
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    2,695
    Location:
    The asshole of Texas

    Yes it is gay. (not that there's anything wrong with that) So I guess you don't think it's gay if you get a blowjob from a dude either.
     
  16. Noland

    Noland
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    41
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,237
    Location:
    New Orleans
    The federal law (The Civil Rights Act of 1991 (42 USC 1981a) for anyone who cares) on sexual harassment limits the amount of money a plaintiff can receive to $300,000, depending on the number of employees a company has. This excludes back pay and interest if those are applicable. Illinois state law may be different and may allow for additional damages, but federal law caps this stuff.

    I sincerely apologize for intruding with rational thought. You may now go back to your regularly scheduled discussion concerning testicles over the eyes with an audience.
     
  17. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    9
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    2,149
    Location:
    Stockholm
    I would let someone do that to me for 90 million and have no shame.
     
  18. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    551
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    9,587

    Sure we'd all do it for 90 million. But what is the absolute lowest you'd do it for? Even if the legal minimum was 300k it'd be a 5 second decision. Don't they have game shows like this in Japan?
     
  19. bewildered

    bewildered
    Expand Collapse
    Deeply satisfied pooper

    Reputation:
    706
    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    8,152
    They also have game shows where if you pick wrong, you have to fuck your own mother. Lets not use Japan as the rule of thumb.
     
  20. scootah

    scootah
    Expand Collapse
    New mod

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    1,728
    I've worked in IT for a long time and seen some awesome stuff.

    I had a boss once who only hired fat chicks. He thought hot girls would distract the geeks and decrease productivity.

    I had a boss who refused to promote queers, chinks or women unless they fucked a woman in his presence.

    I had a boss who refused to promote women unless they swore in the presence of 3 senior staff.

    I had a boss who refused to date anyone who didn't work for him, as he'd be paying for it regardless, so she might as well be working for it.

    All of those bosses were at the same company.

    One of the fat girls employed by the above mentioned chubby chaser made the mistake of saving a copy of her personals profile and the attached pictures somewhere internal where it was found, and distributed around the office, to much laughter - she had airbrushed photos, and misrepresented her weight by at least 100lbs, age by 5 years and level of employment by a substantial amount of seniority.

    The same girl's sister was one of the most socially awkward people I've ever met. When she joined the company they were dubbed patty and selma and referred as such to their face.

    One of the help desk guys was an unregistered sex offender or something. He was just unbelievable in his persistently inappropriate behaviour. He would routinely bend over my desk and put his hand on my leg while asking me a question or something and he did this to EVERYONE. We shared a building with Virgin airlines and after 3 months of him in the building, you could ask any of the virgin employees if they knew 'that creepy fuck from <our business>' and they'd all be able to immediately name him. Five different male employees and about a dozen girls from our business filed sexual harassment complaints against him, before they made him training manager and put him into confined space one on one with all new employees. Patty and Selma were the only people who liked him, and he had a mullet, so he was dubbed Macguyver. He thought it was because he was good at fixing things.

    We had a distribution list on the corporate exchange for distributing porn. When someone pointed out the potential flaws in that plan, we comissioned a porn server, and hid the traffic on the print vlans with a dedicated switch for the increased load. That went away when one of the guys who was in on it was arrested for his part in trying to fraudulently sell a building, and decided to rat out everyone else who did anything wrong at work since he was in shit for trying to fraudulently sell a fucking highrise.

    One of the VP's at that buisness had a side buisness distributing pornographic DVD's. He downloaded pirated DVD's on company bandwidth and then used company equipment in company time to burn the DVD's then took them home, printed labels and case inserts and sold them to adult stores. Despite being a VP, he had managed to get a contract where he was paid by the hour, and spent an extra couple of hours a day at work, billing the company by the hour for time he devoted to his porn buisness.

    In the mining industry it was explained on my second day on a site that if two equally suitable candidates were available, always (and I'm directly quoting) give it to the gash or the nigger, because they'll sue, and the other guy can have the next opening.

    I once had the senior partner of a law firm ask me on arrival to do some work for him, if I was a faggot or what? Apparently having an ear piercing is the sole provence of homosexuals. I wish I'd had the balls to show him my other piercings.