The 4/20, Easter Bunny Day WDT NSFW

That's common. My wife and I are opposites on a lot of things, as are my folks. It either works 50% of the time or it doesn't. I think money ends most failed relationships regardless of anything. It causes by FAR the most fights. My parents have been married for 41 years, they were engaged at six weeks and married 8 months later. You just never really know.

Did anybody here put anything off for Lent? I assume every board member would be all like "Fuck that meat rule now bacon me, bitch!"

 

Re: Re: The 4/20, Easter Bunny Day WDT NSFW

My uncle gives up beer every year for Lent, I am indifferent to religion so I don't give anything up.

The fish fries that happen back home during Lent makes it bearable. Fried Walleye and perch every Friday night for 10 bucks is great, goes good with cold cheap beer.

 

I gave up internet porn for lent, though not for any religious reason. I'm going to binge shortly.

 

So we make our trip to church this morning, and I guess some crotchety old cunt decided the sight of my daughter and another little girl playing in the Sunday school area before church was too much for her to bear, and she bitched to the pastor. He, in turn, took my mother in law aside and told her about the complaints.

This sums up why I hate church (or, more accurately, church people) so fucking much. This old fucking bitty doesn't have the nerve to say to me, or my wife, or my mother in law that she doesn't like my kid playing before Easter service. Probably because she knows it's horseshit, but she wants something to bitch about because she is going to die soon.

My kid and another little girl were playing in an area with few people. They weren't screaming bloody murder in the sanctuary, they weren't fighting or having temper tantrums, they were playing and laughing their little heads off, and it was driving this old, miserable cunt nuts.

My mother in law then says some other people were complaining about my kid, too, but never too myself or my wife. They just say how my kid can be loud and distracting right in FRONT of my other in law, but not TOO her, because God fucking forbid these church cunts be direct instead of passive aggressive twats.

It REALLY pisses me off, too, because I am extra cognizant of my kid's behavior, so we make it a point to leave or take her out the minute she starts to get loud, while I'll hear other kids having massive temper tantrums in there, and no one says a word. Their parents let them scream and cry, while I'll take my kid out if she so much as starts to whine. They talk shit about my kid because they don't like my mother in law. I get not liking my mother in law, but to pick on a 2 year old playing because you don't like her grandma? Fuck off and die already.

 

This has zero to do with church people and everything to do with old bitchy people.

 

Maybe, but my general experience has been that old, bitchy, judgmental people congregate at church more than anyplace else.

I have zero issues with the dogma of church or anything else. My issue is generally that the holier than thou judgmental asswipes tend to outnumber the reasoable church goer 2-1, and that ratio makes going to church regularly and dealing with those people incredibly difficult.

 

I've been pretty fortunate - my mom drug us to a very small, very close knit Southern Baptist church whose members were really focused on helping the community. I'm far from the Christian she raised me to be - as I tend to be a delighted skeptic, but the type of people you're talking about have been (in my experience) limited to much larger churches.

Either way. What a bitch.

 

I gave up watching internet porn on virus laden websites. It was tough, but with God's help I managed to find other avenues in which to facilitate free self-love.

I also gave up not having sex for Lent. Which went smashingly. Pun intended.

Because I've been watching Top Gear all afternoon, I wrote this all in Jeremy Clarkson's voice... in the whhuuurrrrld.

My church is dead. Quite literally, everyone died. My grandfather started going to it in the 60s. When he died, at age 88, everyone else in the church was about ready to follow him. My mom and I were the youngest parishioners, and she's 31 years older than me and was 31 years younger than the next youngest person. Now the church complex is in disrepair, moldering. An enormous, empty church on an acre and a half of prime downtown land. To save money the 10 or so people that still frequent hold service in an old rectory to keep the air conditioning costs low.

Those folks were always nice, supportive. But I always felt like they were trying to recruit me into their old fart club every Sunday. "I'm not dead yet, you wraiths."

 

Id imagine you likely don't have many other places where you would encounter bitchy old people. I certainly don't.

Church going for me has been interesting. Both of my parents are religious, but divergent from their upbringing. My dad's side of the family is STAUNCH Catholic and my mom's is protestant, but not militant. I grew up Lutheran, went to a parochial grade school for a few years, but my parents pulled back due to a crazy pastor who disapproved of things like us even attending church services of other faiths for communions, baptisms and the like. We settled on a Presbyterian church for most of my HS years, which was really solid, but a change in pastors changed that a bit too. I went to the church closest to my parent's house this morning, by myself since my family is in Florida/away at school and I was home for a bachelor party, and it wasn't the nice community feel I was used to, but it was still a worthwhile experience, except for the old bitch glaring at people who didn't contribute to the offering plate going around. There is one in every congregation.

 

Is this what heaven is like?



You crazy Canadians.

 

I would like to meet someone who had learned English exclusively from watching Top Gear. Because man that would be awesome.

 

In order to have a normal serving of that thing, it would have to be 1/32nds of an inch.

My Easter Sunday was spent sleeping in, then sighing loudly every time I wanted to get something done on my to do list, but the store was closed. But I did finish my fairy house, cleaned the kitchen, and watched some sweet TV shows, so there's that.

 

Whenever I text, PM or email someone "Alright", in my mind I'm saying it like this:

 

That thing's fucking disgusting looking. I seriously hope it's a joke and not actually meant to be eaten.

 

Coward.

It's got crust, cheese, sauce, pepperoni, sausage, hopefully some bacon. What's not to love?

You can decide if it makes it to market.

Quick edit: If they throw mushrooms on there, it's dead to me.

 

Well if that's what you're into, my genitals have 4/5 of those things. And there's some bacon in my fridge.

 

But can you satisfy me with one serving? Because I'm pretty sure that thing can.

 

Does anyone else have a relative that everyone knows there's something wrong with them, but the family as a whole refuses to talk about or acknowledge it?

For me its my mom. She put holes in her brain essentially from her drinking and prescription drug abuse. At one point she was drinking a better part of a case a day while being on 4 different psychotropic medications and taking sleeping pills. So because of this, she has the capability of about a 5 year old. I try not to talk to her, but my dad refuses to divorce her so I see her during holidays and when I go back to SD. So whats the point of this backstory?

Well today during easter brunch she wanted to walk around in the cafe without her shoes on. Yea...She wanted to do this because her shoes were annoying her. We obviously told her she couldn't and she asked why. I wish someone would just admit she's brain damaged and we can put her in an assisted living home. As it is now, my dad babysits her by himself in San Diego, while working as a high level exec for a major Pharma.

Fucking eh, fucking eh.