"Yep, I'm now an official BBQ expert... took a bit of trial and error, and an upgraded medical plan, but it's coming along..."
Well I do have a brisket catering gig at a certain congressperson's Xmas party in Austin. Take that for what you will. I do very, very few things well. I am basically talented at saying "yes ma'am" to my wife and BBQ. But I guess just fate or genetics, I'm damn good at those two things.
You may remember from last night that I have a bit of a skunk problem around our house. As of this morning it was really bad... both front and rear lawns are just fucking torn up due to them going nuts for the grubs... it's like there are 40 huge holes that have been dug up over night. Last night I plunked one skunk, so figured it would help with the problem. Apparently, not enough. So today I've stepped up the game a bit. I've mounted a motion detecting light under the deck, right outside the lower level window. I've also set up a motion detecting switch that turns on a light in my office, alerting me to the fact that there is a critter under the deck. I set up a small target to ensure that I was absolutely zeroed in for the range, and took a few practice shots with the pellet gun. I just dumped a can of cat food under there, and waited. Not 10 minutes later, the light in my office goes off, and I go to the window to check out the activity... and ran into a bit of a (somewhat obvious, in hindsight) flaw in the plan: Spoiler: the flaw This is my cat, chowing down on what is his cat food. Well, at least I know that the motion detectors and lighting systems work. Here's hoping he gets full soon...
So I'm thinking its about time Toddamus grows up a bit. I'm thinking of getting a senior rescue. Having a dog in my apartment, having something I'm responsible to and for, and we all know I adore dogs and grew up with them..... The reasons I don't have one yet are I would never take in a pup I didn't have the time for. And I would never house a pup that I didn't bond with or have a rapport with. ...and I'm buying more stink bombs, my neighbors above me are assholes and they'll pay. Stink bombs are cheap and I'll make their apartment a place they don't want to be. Somewhat drunk me just bought around 30 of them for like 10$
Dogs and pets in general are awesome if you're sure you can be responsible for them. Dogs need exercise and attention. I travel for work so much I can barely be responsible for a plant. I would love to have a dog.
Whew. For a moment I had a picture in my mind of you adopting a confused old person and bringing them home.
I already know. My poor aunt would be plugged up for weeks while nurses filled her with laxatives. When it finally let loose....Oh. Dear. God. I have no idea how a little tiny old lady can A) Hold that much shit and B) Shit completely up and down her front and backside.
My aunt no longer stays at my parents' house because she sprayed shit everywhere....like painted the walls with it.
I would only do that if their medicare checks cleared and they stayed somewhere else, and someone else took care of them. It'd cut into my profit margin but thats business I guess. If this doesn't get even a tiny amount of emotional response out of you you have no soul.
I'm pet-sitting a senior golden retriever next week for 10 days... she is so old and has such bad arthritis and hip displacia that there's a very real possibility that she's going to die while under our care. We've basically been given a canine DNR order from her owners. Unfortunately she's dumb as a fucking stump... but I really do want to get a new puppy.
A friend has asked me to sit her cat a few times. Her cat that she is unreasonably attached to and 20 years old. No thank you. That thing is due to die at any moment and I'm sure it would pick the moment when I'm watching it to pass away.
This is kind of cool: They found the wreckage of the USS Indianapolis. If you've ever read the accounts of the survivors, it was horrific. All of them talked about what it was like when night fell and the sharks came and started picking them off. One that always stood out in my mind was a survivor talking about a guy next to him treading water who said "I'm going below to get a drink of water" and went under water never to resurface. Not to mention the Captain was court-martialed and they had the enemy sub commander as a witness against him, because he didn't zig zag. The Japanese sub commander said it didn't matter, he still would've sunk the ship. The whole ordeal was horribly messed up.
If you're not familiar with Sister Rosetta, she was a blues guitarist/singer who was doing rock n roll long before anyone else. And she was awesome at it.