...because well, TiB. Since my Mom is now in AZ I had flowers delivered. Easy. What do you normally do for yours? What have you done for yours that turned out to be a disaster?
Since this is the Mother's Day Drunk Thread, are we supposed to post pictures of hot MILFs? Because that sounds like a good idea to me. Since my mom has been dead for 20 years, I'm off the hook for this made-up holiday.
The plan so far is to make her a tasso jambalaya. If I can find some softshell crabs tomorrow night, then that's the new plan. I'm debating flowers because I'm tired of spending money. Every time I turn around someone has a birthday or a going away party or a holiday. You go fucking broke doing this shit. One of my best friend's kid is turning 1 this weekend, so he gets $100 towards a college fund they set up. As it is I have to drive my mom to her niece's graduation in Orlando. Her niece is 50 fucking years old and expects someone to come watch her walk for her MA diploma like she's a fucking child. I have seen this bitch once in a decade. Her chin attaches directly to her neck like a fucking bullfrog and she has a thick New Joisay accent that makes me want to piss in her face. I kind of hope she breaks both legs so this whole farce is cancelled. If mom wasn't 66 going into a shit show of a high traffic area I'd say bon voyage. I need a drink.
We normally do a picnic for Mom. This year my brother and I are celebrating by spending the weekend huddled next to each other under a tree, hopefully trying to just kill a turkey and not each other for once. Best case scenario is bagging one on Saturday so we can still do a picnic on Sunday and that means getting my hands on some of the morel mushrooms my dad picked this year- and drinking his beer. All good things.
Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to find tasso up here in Canada? Every "speciality" butcher I've talked to looks at me like I was speaking Vulcan when I ask if they have any. I think I'm going to have to make my own if I ever want to get some. Even the online stores won't ship across borders, and I can't seem to find a Canadian source. This year Mom and I are lounging out in wineries in 80 degree sunshine, while watching some forest fire smoke off in the distance. Usually I have a huge exotic flower arrangement delivered. Luckily there's an amazing florist in London who constantly outdoes themselves with the quality, and every year they seem to get better and better. It's not like I'm one to be impressed by flower arrangement, but damn... they rock.
I feel your pain. Nobody outside of Louisiana makes this stuff. I just so happen to have a wedge in my freezer from Cochon Butcher in New Orleans. I also make my own. Get a ham from the store, rub it in the spice mixture, smoke it for an hour, or roast the mixture in. I've calmed my afternoon; the world isn't as brutish. Hero Peach Nectar with some vodka and gin, topped off with Spanish Cava. That'll do, pig. That'll do. Get this Hero peach juice. It is insanely good. Nothing funky in it, super thick.
I designate this as the one weekend I am my mother's toy dog. I fix her computers, go to the inane shit she likes to do and generally hang out. This year, I'm 500 miles away, so I bought her an iPhone! That I'll have to fix when I see her.
Last year my dad had a brilliant idea to go to my parents' favorite Italian spot. (Apparently he missed the memo that it was Mother's Day instead of Wife's Day, and that I had already made tentative plans.) This would've been great, except that their favorite spot opened a new location 2 days prior to Mother's Day. We went to the new location, and it was a total shitshow that ANYBODY (except for my Pops) would have anticipated. I hadn't been there in years, so it was news to me that they had just opened. Everything that could have gone wrong, did. It sucked for everybody involved. Never again.
My mom isn't the best so I usually don't do anything except to ask my dad or twin to put my name on a card they buy. This is my sisters first mothers day, I bought her some flowers that are hopefully delivered tomorrow and if they're late Sunday. I hope she is surprised and I wish I could be there when they arrive.
I asked the senior developer on my team if he was doing anything with his mom this weekend. He told me that his mom died two years ago in the middle of a huge project of ours. I remembered the instant he told me, but he gave me an out by saying that he didn't tell me at the time (he told our manager and our manager told me). I felt like a pile of shit. He's one of my favorite people and I could tell that even though he's past it and ok, that it hurt to say it.
You people are missing the important thing. It is not just Mother's Day weekend. It is Kentucky Derby weekend. I plan to eat lunch with my mom while nursing a mint julep hangover. Look at my new Whiskey Bottle. It is beautiful.
This is why I'm always wary of trying something that I can't get on the regular. I'm still salty over the seasoning my Mom got me for Christmas one year that was the best seasoning ever and I haven't been able to get another bottle because apparently no store carries it and my Mom doesn't remember where she got it.
If there is a god, Mayweather is going to fight McGregor this summer Wonder how much Mayweather is gonna make for getting his ass kicked?
Is it straight boxing or will Conor be able to actually fight? Because I'm not sure he could beat mayweather in only boxing.
I am hanging out in a tractor shed in rural northern Minnesota with my brother and this is a hunting weekend so yes... I am drinking a beer. I guess Wild Turkey would be more appropriate, just pulled from the bottle. There's always tomorrow night. We'll be in the woods before 5 am, it'll be awesome. Too excited to sleep.
I'm waking up at 6 am Sunday to smoke a brisket at my wife's request. 11 lbs packers cut for $22. Texas is awesome.
The last I saw of my mother she was shrieking like a banshee at me. She had no idea who I was, but she was certain she hated me and I needed to be screamed at. Mom was the sweetest, most gentle person in the world...right up until dementia took her mind. A switch flipped and she became the exact opposite of her personality. It's easy to say you'd be understanding of your formerly loving parent when something like that happens, but it's a completely different story when they're screaming at the top of their lungs for you to go away. Especially when you're their only child and they have no idea who you are. There is no reasoning with them, no calming them down. Just screaming. For you to go away. I know that shrieking woman wasn't my mom, I simply said "Good bye Mom" and walked out of the room. I hope none of y'all ever have to do that.