Wow. Just wow. I have to admit that I'm a bit into the rye tonight, and am re-watching UFC #1 yet again. If you are at all interested in MMA, and have a chance to grab UFC 1, you really do have to watch it. It is absolutely unbelievable how far it has come... both in production, and the actual competition.
And if you watch the new version of Hawaii 5-0, you might not be aware that Teila Tuli, the owner of the shrimp truck, used to be an MMA and professional Sumo fighter.
Oh boy. Was that the scene where he starts listing off all the stuff that's wrong with him at the doctor? I laughed way harder at that then I probably should have.
"It's like I'm wiping a marker" kills me every time. I'm wondering what kind of booze I should bring camping with me next week. Last year I brought Jim Beam and some so-so gin. I'm thinking swap gin for vodka and get a different whiskey too? Choices, choices...
Jailhouse moonshine, distilled from prison hooch brewed in a toilet with rotting oranges and potato peels. Or you could just go with bourbon.
If you aren't steeping marshmallows and chocolate in your vodka for real smores vodka, you have failed. Or maybe you won because you aren't sucking down a diabetic amount of sugar. I have no idea anymore. It just sounds like a cool idea. If there is a water source nearby, steep wine in it. Champagne? Why, yes, I would enjoy it with a can of pork and beans. Then get naked, wrestle the nearest grizzly, wear its skin like a caveman would. Nurse the bear's cubs with your boozy nipples, raise them as your own progeny. In time, ride your bear army to work. I just solved 15 years of your life. Don't thank me, just pay it forward.
My suggestion is Knob Creek. It's thematic. Actually, aren't you going to the Boundary Waters? Canadian Mist might be the most fitting.
Where's Dixiebandit when you need him? A guy is already bringing Knob Creek like he always does, which is good. Canadian Mist... now we're talking. If I could bring canned beer it'd have to be Schmidt's with bears and pikes on the cans.
Really you'll also need bread and sugar to make Pruno (Toilet wine). You could degrease a thousand ton press with it but you'll certainly get drunk too. Helps make the sodomy more pleasant. You can pick up other resourceful tips in the big house, like how to smuggle drugs through a fixed plumbing system and how to crush a wind pipe with a cafeteria tray.
When I first moved into my house in 2009, it appeared that the neighborhood was taking an upswing. So I took a few pictures of my neighborhood today to get tIB's insightful assessment. I stopped by my local liquor store and saw these on the counter. So for 5-7 dollars you can buy a brown bag of mystery booze. I thought about buying one for shits and giggles, but I'm a picky drinker and would likely end up throwing it away: Up until recently this class drinking establishment was known as Ron's Bar. I wonder what prompted the name change? I've never been inside it; think I could find a nice girl to take home? Ever since I moved into the neighborhood there's been a homeless man who sweeps the sidewalks of this street. Apparently this is where he sleeps most of the time. All of the local businesses know him by name. Am I a bad neighbor because I don't know his name and have never approached him or made eye contact with him? My parents think I should sell my house and move to a better neighborhood, but they're just being elitists.