You realize you're going to Vegas in 2015 and not 1955 right? You're more likely to get trampled by a group of Asians rolling 20-deep with selfie sticks or Eastern Europeans in shiny shirts hopped up on bottle service and Molly as opposed to any old school mob violence.
Well I am just about finished for today. Now I have a 8 hour drive ahead of me(trailering my bike to get work on it). Drop it off soon as they open(should be out of there by 10am), and drive straight back and hope to get back by 6, just in time for my daughters 2 year birthday dinner. It is going to be a long two days.
Ever hear a female say, "my ass is not a tardis"? That comment made me happy in a couple of ways and sad in another
Hell a group of shady Mexican's were selling coke at the craps table at planet hollywood when I was there a few years ago. That's a knee breaking shiving situation waiting to happen.
Rules to Vegas: Don't get cheap hookers, don't hang out with people you don't know (friendly people usually have a malevolent reason), stay away from any nightclub that charges anything more than $20 cover, (yes I know thats most but fuck night clubs, they're like 8th grade dances but with a cover), also fuck people at the blackjack tables, if you want to split faces on a 6 fuck the people who say anything negative, perfect strategy only applies when you're playing thousands of hands not an hours worth
#1 Vegas Rule: Just because you're on vacation, it doesn't make you a Highlander. Don't Jaywalk on the strip. We can and will run you over without blinking an eye. It happens way more often then you'd think. #2 We don't just hate you, we hate everyone: “2015 is shaping up to be a very violent year in our community,” said Tom Roberts with Metro's Investigative Services Division. There have been more than 250 shooting in Metro's jurisdiction so far this year, up 30 percent over this time last year. “The first 16 days of this month, 13 people lost their lives in our community,” Roberts said. Las Vegas police have investigated 45 homicides this year. (Report from 5/20) Fuck this place.
I guess it depends on the earthquake. I was in one a few years ago (the one that had the east coast clutching its pearls) and we were evacuated for a bit and then went back in.
I started my holiday weekend by spending twelve freaking hours trying to figure out this businessy, strategy-y puzzle for work. I can't remember the last time I thought this long in numbers and I'm still not entirely confident in the solution I did eventually land on and my head hurts. I am attempting to solve THAT problem with rum and Coke. (On the plus side, it's probably a good sign that I willingly spent that long on the Friday of a holiday weekend doing something for work. It's been feeling so goddamn good to love my job and get to do what I love to do every day.) My actual weekend involves brunch, park-lounging, and a BBQ/possibly eating seafood on a boat with Nom and Cowbell. The only things I plan on math-ing this weekend are drinks+pancakes+wings+shrimpies. Oh, and just because I don't work there anymore I haven't stopped hearing outrageous Planned Parenthood questions thanks to my friends that are still there. Example from earlier today: "I was wondering how long syphilis can survive outside a living organism. I am an archaeologist and when we identify bones we sometimes use what we call a "tongue test". In order to identify if something is bone we see if it sticks to our tongue. Someone told me I can contact syphilis this way and I wanted to know if it was true. These bones were from an archaeological site and had been sitting in dirt for awhile and then in plastic bags." Spoiler: Spoiler You cannot get syphilis this way.
The plan? Death by barbecue. My contribution: Nutella and Peanut Butter pie. This shit will haunt your dreams, it's so rich. It's cheap, easy and takes about 15 minutes to make. Watching my friend get trailer trash wasted with her Aunt Mary is amazing. Like, picking her up at the airport, she goes "What terminal are you in?" The reply: "Terminal D. D as in dick. You remember that, don't you honey?" This woman is 75 years old and technically pickled.
Brother in law is getting married tomorrow, so there goes my whole weekend. Right now Im sitting in my mother in laws house while everyone is out getting hair and nails done and whatnot. Its not even June and this makes 5 weddings so far this year. It just wont end. On the plus side Im traveling a shit load this summer, which should be fun. Chicago in June. Iceland in July. New Orleans in August. New Zealand and Cook Islands in September. Florida Keys in October.
Good. Now I can go back to taking ancient human remains directly from the earth and placing them in my mouth immediately. Because science. Apparently all you triflin' mother fuckers missed the 7th step of the scientific method, "Suck on deeze results." Literally. You know what Jurassic Park was missing? A scene where Hammond sucked the marrow from raptor fossils. "We extract DNA the old fashioned South London way."
I haven't had two days off from work (I work two jobs) in a long, long as time, maybe a few months. I have three days off this weekend. What I'm doing now is catching a buzz before noon and watching a replay of the NYR game. Fucking relaxing as shit really
The difference between Las Vegas http://www.fox5vegas.com/story/2914...-man-throwing-roofing-tiles-from-valley-house and Mississippi http://www.wtva.com/news/national/s...ight-power-outage/3qe5IxEUIkGOkSc8pYTRdg.cspx
No shit? I'm not sure what other possible outcome they thought there could be for the raccoon. "Slightly smoldering, but in good spirits" seems out of the question.
I just received a wedding invitation in the mail from my cousin and her fiance. The two options on the invitation are "Attending With Pleasure" and "Decline With Regret". Really? What if I want to decline with pleasure? Do I cross out "regret" and draw an arrow up to "pleasure" in the above option? I'm seriously thinking about checking the box for the second option and gluing this image over the text: Spoiler