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The 2014 Halloween Drunk Thread NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Oct 31, 2014.

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  1. katokoch

    katokoch
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    Now there's a guy to take medical advice from!
     
  2. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    a) No. If I discover dick embiggener, I won't tell anyone. I will use it only for myself for fun and profit.

    2) Of all the "Make it Huge!" and "Free V!agra" emails I have gotten over the year with all sorts of hilarious re: lines, I can't believe I haven't gotten one with "New #1 Dick Embiggener"

    d) Richard M. Biggener is definitely going to be one of the characters in my next novel.
     
  3. Binary

    Binary
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    That seems perfectly cromulent to me.
     
  4. guernica

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    Depends what type of profit you're after. I think having a big dick and money is better than just having a big dick. I have no experience in either category though.

    As a side note, I will attempt to use "cromulent" in a sentence today. Good word.
     
  5. shimmered

    shimmered
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    The time change means that as soon as it's dark - I want to go to bed. ugh.
     
  6. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    More time for drinking.
     
  7. mya

    mya
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    Sigh, I won't see the sun until March. I work in a dungeon. I need to buy one of those light boxes.
     
  8. Gravy

    Gravy
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    I'm seriously considering buying an a "wake up light" (alarm clock that turns on as a lamp along with noise). Hereis an example. Anyone have any experience with those?
     
  9. Juice

    Juice
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    Just do what I do and put my phone across the room. The alarm forces me to get out of bed to get it.
     
  10. Gravy

    Gravy
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    Sleep me is becoming impervious to sound. I just incorporate it into my dream. The alarm could go off and I just imagine that the car I'm driving in my dream has suddenly decided to activate its alarm system.
     
  11. shimmered

    shimmered
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    Alarms piss me off so much.


    What makes me even more angry?

    THE GODDAMN SNOOZE BUTTON.
     
  12. wexton

    wexton
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    Try moving to northern Canada, I am a little higher in Latitude the Edmonton, so they will know what it is like. We get nice long summer days, but winter blows. I work 8-4.30, and it is black when I go to work, and pretty much there when I get off work, give it a few more weeks, and it will be.
     
  13. shimmered

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    I need sunshine. Like to the point I would need a tanning bed to get through the winter.
     
  14. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    I have the same problem. I don't fall asleep easily, but once I'm out I might as well be on Mars. I have to set my alarm 5 times because I usually sleep through the first 2-3. The dream part of it is weird because I don't have any consistency to how it gets incorporated. Sometimes I hear it in my dream and I'll be sitting somewhere and dream me just thinks it's normal that these random blaring noises pop up with no purpose. Other times it'll be a bank alarm, or it will be someone's cell phone ring tone. A couple nights ago I was talking to a guy in my dream and once my alarm went off he suddenly had a beeper and his wife was pregnant. He just kept blowing off the beeper anyway and it wasn't until the 4th time it went off that I woke up.
     
  15. mya

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    I can let you guys borrow my alarm clock.
     

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  16. Clutch

    Clutch
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    I'm thinking of trying one of those smartphone apps that tries to tell what phase of sleep you're in and shifts the alarm to a point where you aren't in REM sleep. I can't imagine they work well, but it would solve the problem of incorporating the alarm as part of the dream.
     
  17. Danger Boy

    Danger Boy
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    I've been thinking about building an alarm clock that raises my bed up on end, forcing me to stand. It seems like once I'm up and walking around, I'm fine. Getting my ass out of bed without dozing off again is the problem.
     
  18. Bundy Bear

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    They work, I've never had an issue waking up to an alarm but I hate being woken up so abruptly. It uses the accelerometer to tell how much you're moving and wakes you up in a specified time period leading up to your alarm. I've only rarely slept through the whole time period and gotten to the actual alarm time.
     
  19. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    The kind that makes my bank account bigger, too. From everything I've read (i.e. spam email links, messageboards, and other classics), if you are white (halfway there!) and have a really big dick (also, halfway there), then people just give you money. I assume it works something like this:

    Me: I have a huge dick.
    Person with money: Oh really, prove it.
    Me: (flop)
    Person: Oh my. Will you take a check?

    And, then it's speed boats, champagne and two chicks at one time from there on out.
     
  20. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    I feel like I'm about to get an automotive circumcision. From a Mustang to (possibly) a Yaris. Jesus Christ. Bye bye cool MILF, hello mom jeans and bad perms.

    I'm so upset.
     
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