So I'm married now. Weird. The DJ didn't have "Shout"...jerk....I gave him a list of songs like a week ago.....it's my fav wedding song and a tradition in my family.....so when we got to our room we danced to it in my lingerie and his boxers. It was really fun.
Big Night is done already, eh? Bored and checking in with TiB? Awwww.... And in other news, he lives:
Your fault for killing him. (kidding, kind of.. I know he deserved it, but he still was funny) In other news, I just found my nephew's babysitter online. How you might ask? Because I was perusing porn sites looking for some late night entertainment and I happened to stumble upon her. And to preempt the questions: she's actually a lot hotter in person without the camera and makeup.
When I first read that I thought you were saying that you found a (new) babysitter for your nephew while perusing porn sites.
Drink of the afternoon: The Brown Derby -1.5 oz of Bourbon -1.5 oz of grapefruit juice (fresh squeezed preferable) -1 oz of honey simple syrup (bring equal parts of honey and water to a simmer for 1 min then let cool). Shake all ingredients over ice and then serve in a chilled glass.
Chocolate covered pretzel martinis are surprisingly delicious. And go rather well with calzones. And cheese fries. I love cheese fries. It's the perfect combination of two foods really, if you think about it.
Two Halloween parties over the weekend. First was great; chill, relaxed folks, dancing in a garage with a bar in it, a speaker system, a couch, dance floor replete with lighting effects, fucking awesome and I brought Alaskan Winter Ale, my friend I came with brought his apple-huckleberry moonshine and we got nice and comfortable at his brother in law's house. Second one sucked. A party with a bonfire would usually rule, but the folks throwing it only had shittier beers but luckily there was enough fun and interesting people to distract from that fact until the defining moment of the night for me. A drunk guy, a fast friend of the house's owner, was fervently hitting on every girl there, whether or not they were in a marriage, long-term relationship or single. As a revenge for this rude behavior and in the obvious ways of typical guy partying ways when younger, he got drawn on with marker on his lower back (It said 'Insert Here' and had a phallus and balls next to it, and an arrow pointing to his shit-chute, I believe), and though I met him only just that night I already hate that bastard for his behavior upon waking back up. Groused on and on about how awful it was to be drawn on and trying to come to blows with everyone over it. Also, as I was Designated Driver, I was stone-sober witnessing this idiocy play out. He tried to confront and fight my friend, and I went outside totally expecting to have to whip his ass with my friend before he ran off to bitterly complain and threaten another man. Finally and mercifully, he was drug off. In other news, the only deer I've see this year was a yearling and doe together, and I passed on them. I might just have to settle for a doe to fill the freezer. I always say you can't eat antlers, but it would be nice to have a bleached buck skull.
Sounds like the bonfire at my sister's this weekend. I was sober. I couldn't rally...I drank too much around noon and passed out for a few hours in the afternoon. My dad was drunk as fuck. I had to keep him from falling into the fire when he came to sit down. He kept telling us how we were all males (us females were AT LEAST 85% testosterone) and that fire is so primal. He made fun of everyone not there for not being man enough. The poor neighbor man/kid who is a little slow kept trying to clumbsily redirect the conversation, to no avail. I made him the weakest drink ever when he demanded a refill of bourbon and coke. Sorry daddyo. Otherwise, great weekend! My sister and brother in law restated strongly that we have an invitation to come live with them in Houston while I look for a job and housing. We have some planning to do but will probably be taking them up on that.
To anyone who can pass on deer like this, enjoy it. If I don't nail the first legal one I see, I'm very likely going home empty handed. I didn't see any when I was out scouting yesterday but bumped into a flock of turkeys for the first time this fall. This is the kind of canoeing trip I dream about.
Football players eat the antlers all the time. Makes their dicks big or something. Performance enhancing. Also, meat comes along with antlers. I hear buck meat is much tougher. I'd just run everything but the back strap through a meat grinder three or four times.
I figure that if anyone ever discovers a legitimate dick embiggener, the entire world will hear about it rather quickly. The deer antler thing has something to do with growth hormone.
I'm pretty sure Kubla was making a joke, and if not then he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. Supposedly Deer Antler Velvet boosts insulin like growth hormone (IGF-1). I say supposedly because it really doesn't. No medical studies show that it works. And Ray Lewis was more than likely on all the HGH and god knows what kinds of steroids. But if you want to believe you'll basically regrow a tricep because of deer antler spray then go right ahead.