Reginald VelJohnson - AIDS Jaleel White - AIDS Kellie Shanygne Williams - AIDS Darius McCrary - AIDS JoMarie Payton - AIDS
LeBron James - attacked by bitter Cavs fan Al Davis - anger-induced stroke during a press conference Michael Bay - suicide over the realization that he has no creativity Roger Goodell - murdered for ruining the NFL; 3:2 odds says a Jets fan will do it Miley Cyrus - please, let this be the year... On TiB: Supertramp, after a bad night of standup mixed with a laced batch of LSD leads him to go off the rails. Either that, or his diabeetus will finally get the best of him.
Lindsay Lohan Crushed by an elephant dong in Tijuana after her Hollywood gigs dry up Keith Reichards Taken down by big game hunters so his body can be sold and studied for science Mel Gibson Killed after being in a cage match with an orangutan Charlie Sheen Crushed to death after an earthquake demolishes whatever brothel he's passed out in Christopher Lee C'mon the dude's 88. I'm not happy about it, but it's probably gonna happen soon. It's more likely he'll buy a pair of jeans that are too skinny and they'll crush him to death like a denim boa constrictor.
Durbanite finally gives in, meets a nice girl and as he is about to finally get laid a meteor crashes into the room and kills her. He finishes anyway. Edit: Yes I realize he's still alive in this instance and I'd rather keep it that way, for humor of course (plus we know he isn't out raping or anything).
Artie Lange- history has a strange way of repeating itself Sharon Osbourne- cancer again Keith Richards- it is just his time Danny Bonaduce- just because Jeff Conway- he has been going downhill fast
1. Kanye West - Suicide (tear) 2. Rush Limbaugh - Car "accident" 3. Joe Paterno - Old age/stress 4. Marissa Miller - Suicide related to weight gain 5. Vince Vaughn - "accidental" OD related to nosedive in popularity. TiB: Samr--Drunken shotgun accident
TiB ToyToy88- Killed by his baby cousin daddy after daddy finds him sleeping with her. Dixie Bandit- Jail Rape taken too far. Scootah- S&M scene gets to real. He is taken to prison. Prison Rape. Supertramp- killed by DC001 after she finds him in her basement trying to film Nettdaddy banging her Durbanite- His parents kick him out, and he has no clue how to fend for himself. Giraffe ends up eating him. Would be AIDS, but since he refuses to sleep with anyone... Real world- Albert Pujols- Suicide after full Mitchell report is leaked. Mel Gibson- Killed by Nazi hunters Justin Bieber- kidnapped raped and tourchered by his middle aged pedophile fans Brittany Spears- killed by her children Tom Cruise- Killed by Scientologist for not giving all of his money up.
1. Charlie Sheen- OD on either drugs or electricity at the business end of an LAPD tazer 2. Martin Sheen - cancer/natural causes 3. Emilio Estevez - starved to death for lack of relevancy (admitted long shot but I gotta go for the family trifecta) 4. Liz Taylor - bad case of the old 5. Justin Beiber - estrogen replacement OD (one can always hope right?) And TIB Member most likely to bite it...Blue Dog, drunk and lost in the swamp while saving his dog from "some dem der toothedidy critters" Dog lives though. (not that I wish this on ya Blue Dog, Just gotta play the odds, ya know?)
If BlueDog dies it will be because he didn't realize how shitty family life is, and he offs himself as he cant deal with the guilt of being too cheap to pay for an abortion.
Awwww.... sounds like someone needs a nap. Or, at the least, a bit of a time out so they can go fellate a shotgun.
Well that depends on if you mean my looks or personality. heh FYI guys, I think Supertramp had taken his toys and gone home. He's not been online in sometime. I think Nett and Dcc had him put down. We owe them partial payment for doing us all a favor. DB is most certainly in the pokey someplace in BFE. A mighty nice fit if you ask me. They can keep him. As for Toytoy; I agree that "baby cousins" Daddy took him out, if for no other reason than him calling her that.
1. Mel Gibson- Getting essentially fired from the Hangover, because he was a loser, will be too much for this sacred soul to bare. He'll nail himself to a cross and shout "FREEDOM!!!" as he bleeds to death and no one cares to wash his wounds with a sponge. 2. Julian Assange - Someone's going to "assasinate" him. That someone is also going to be on some country's payroll. Assange is then going to become a cult figure among h4ckerz and 4chan. And everyone predicting this whole end-of-the-world scenario with the internet is going to be proven blatantly incorrect, as Assange is summarily forgotten. 3. David Arquette- Suicide. This guy belongs in this thread. He's going to realize he's just a creep that only gets put in movies as a practical joke to annoy the fuck out of people (see: Eight Legged Freaks). 4. Tom Cruise- I'm going to go out on a limb here. "Lindsey Lohan - car accident" was an easy choice for really popular celebrity (Gibson doesn't count). Some ex-$cientology freak is going to beat the shit out of him in a dark alley behind a Whole Foods with a hardcover copy of "Dianetics." 5. Kim Jong-il - I'm scared to death it is going to be President Obama, after some 3-toothed hillbilly (not to be mistaken for toytoy) decides he hates the new health care bill, but that'd be just un-American, no matter which way you look at it. So I say the old crazy Korean geezer. He's going to die from autoerotic asphyxiation (how bad is it that I spelled that on the first shot?), after hanging himself from a low-level closet rack while jacking off to the basketball signed by Michael Jordan that some secretary of state chick gave to him. TiBers: Ballsack - Hairbrush. Hairbrush up the ass inducing uncontrollable internal bleeding, and simultaneous cocaine overdose. Possibly on a golf course. Durbanite - AIDs. TiB finally convinced him to have sex, and the first time he decided to give it a try, he got AIDs. He posts on here, writing "I win; sex is terrible," then disappears. DixieBandit - He gets out of jail, picks up his son, promptly takes him to a cash bar and orders two Lonestars. Some biker dude gets pissed at him for giving alcohol to a minor, he tells him that he's just "trying to show lil bandit the time of his life" and the biker punches him right in the peach fuzz wannabe-Cash mustache, killing him instantly. toytoy- Crabs. From his cousin. He dies after bleeding to death, after he wakes up, sees the crabs, and decides the best course of action is to "shoot tha fuckers off mah pecker while mah bird watches from mah shouldah!!"
1. Andy Griffith. Matlock has outlived his viewers. Time to go. 2. Michael Douglas: This sucks because Michael Douglas has done some awesome movies. 3. Zsa Zsa Gabor: I'm pretty sure she's getting her affairs in order. 4. Elizabeth Taylor: Her too. 5. Lindsay Lohan: If people think you're too sketchy to play a fucked in half porn star, how long do you really have to live? TiB: Samr: A tragic slip in the shower ends with a broken neck. Scootah: 15 kV across the nipples ends poorly. Durbanite: After his rugby team wins the whatever championship, he shoots himself because he clearly has nothing left to live for. Frebis: AIDS. Ballsack: Coke overdose. Dies while writing a messageboard post on how awesome he is.
Wilford Brimley - Diabeetus related complications Sarah Palin - Plane crash George H.W. Bush - Stroke Suzanne Sommers, speaking of whom... Patrick Duffy, Shame of being on "Step by Step" catches up with him
JESSICA SIMPSON: Dies of spontaneous combustion, but she doesn't burst into flames, she bursts into strawberry jelly doughnut filling. ANGELINA JOLIE: Dies after all her third world adopted children become "Freedom Fighters" and kill her (bludgeoned to death) to start their own oppressive regime, just like what happens in most African countries once a week. MILEY CYRUS: Dies of accidental suicide after jumping off the roof of a high building, convinced its the only way to escape the evil clutches of Lord Voldemort. I.E. Miley has a bad trip on salvia and jumps off a high building. WESLEY SNIPES: Dies (from a lucky sharpened tooth brush handle shank shot to the jugular) four hours into a cafeteria prison fight where Wesley fights the entire cell block. Prison guards on hand will say it was the most bad ass display of kickboxing ever, AND that if Wesley would of had his Blade katana he would of probably won the fight. TUPAC SHAKUR: After living in a basement for the past fourteen year, Tupac finally leaves his recording studio hideout to get some fresh air. A local gang sees a random black guy who looks like he hasn't showered in years walking around outside and they drive-by him. Cause of death: Multiple gun-shot wounds.
Good God, how are any of us supposed to compete with this list above? It's outstanding, the perfect mix of middle-aged, old, disease, drug addiction, and D-list obscurity. This is a true master at work. Focus- I could go with old actors and musicians that I respect, but I would rather they not die, so it kills any rooting interest. Seth "Shifty" Binzer- Idiotic, moping, overdramatic loser from multiple seasons of "Celebrity Rehab". He is too physically frail and small for his body to sustain a high level of drug use, and has zero hope of breaking his addiction. Lock this one in! Ozzy Osbourne- The Metal Gods are furious that the highly intelligent, kindly, and amazing singer Ronnie James Dio died this year, while the brain-retarded zombie, greedy shit, and perpetually drunk, overrated Ozzy is alive and well. I would rather Ozzy drop dead, but Sharon being ended, from the list above, would be a wonderful consolation prize. I don't hate the next two, but I'm not a fan either, and they're such high draft picks that I can't resist; Zsa Zsa Gabor- Safe pick! Elizabeth Taylor- Safe pick! Nicole Richie- Had to pick one of the young starlets with a history of drug abuse. Lindsay Lohan has too much attention, court dates, and people around her. Nicole Richie has kept a bit of a lower profile, but has a tiny, fragile body, and is 29 years old. If Brittany Murphy died, then she also has to be a strong contender.
Betty White: After being asked to help usher in 2012 a year from now, she'll die while trying to pull a wheelie on a sport bike shortly before the ball drops. Upon hitting the pavement, she'll simply burst into dust. Dick Clark: Speaking of New Years, I say Dick is the first to go. My guess is a massive anuerysm at 12:01, struggling with even elementary coherence as he attempts to narrate the scene taking place in the streets below him. Michael J. Fox: With no DeLorean to take him to the future so he can cure his affliction, he dies from massive, sudden brain trauma caused by an uncontrollable repetitive stabbing at his own face with a Philips Sonicare toothbrush. Kim Kardashian: Something involving heavy machinery--a wrecking ball accident, perhaps. Dan Snyder: Honestly, if he doesn't do it himself, someone else is going to.
Hosni Mubarak - dude has been circling the drain. But i'm sure everyone's excited for their brand new dictator, Gamal Mubarak! Yaaay! Kim Jong Il - see above. Fidel Castro - bad year to be an autocratic fuckwad. Julian Milkshake - er, Julian Assange, by way of polonium milkshake. Billy Graham - goddamn the dude is old.