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That's right, I'm Abe Froman.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DrFrylock, Dec 17, 2010.

  1. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
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    The White

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    I don't know if it's true or apocryphal, but the word on the street is that it is not illegal in any way to misrepresent who you are as long as you don't claim to be a representative of the government, like a police officer or an IRS agent, and you don't do it to commit fraud or whatever.

    FOCUS: When have you pretended to be someone you're not to get something you wanted/needed? How did it work out for you?
     
  2. Wadget

    Wadget
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    Sometimes when I'm out at a pub/club and there is cool shit painted on the walls I tell girls that I painted it.

    It has not once worked.
     
  3. twopy

    twopy
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    My name is Rusty Shackelford...


    FOCUS:

    If I need to use a fake name Steve is my go-to fake name. That or the real name of one of my buddies whose close by, thus forcing them to make up their own fake name. If some seacow at a bar comes up to our group and starts fishing around for a guy drunk enough to bang her I'll use blatant fake names from movies, hoping she'll pick up on the subtle mocking and go away. Sloan Kettering is always ready to ask that seacow if she wants to go blaze with Johnny Hopkins.
     

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  4. Noland

    Noland
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    I don't remember the details of how we ended up there, but when I was in college a group of us ended up in a sorority house at Vanderbilt. Of course we were all drunk as hell and had been since long before we left Sewanee for Nashville. I introduced myself as Sebastian LaRue and made up an elaborate backstory to go with that stupid name that changed every time I talked to a different girl.

    Even with the name and the amazingly cool fake life I invented for myself even the dumbest of girls isn't interested in a chubby, foul mouthed, chain smoking drunk. So I slept alone that night.

    Interestingly, after I lost 20 pounds, quit smoking, toned down the drinking, and internalized the swear words, I ended up marrying a former Vanderbilt sorority girl.
     
  5. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    My boss asks me to do random things for her all the time. These tasks sometime involve calling places and asking for account information, which I am never authorized to do--unless I'm her husband. I've been Mr. [Boss' Husband] more times than I can count. My boss could care less, and is actually pretty happy that it works. But it also scares the hell out of me because it's so easy to pull off if you just give them a few small pieces of information over the phone--some of which is pretty easily available to the public.

    In college, I used my cousin's old MD license to buy booze. He and I could be brothers, so a quick look never raised an eyebrow and if any suspicions arose, it scanned, so it was never a problem.

    A buddy of mine had one of the best fake ID names ever: Ted Oilstack.
     
  6. Mike Ness

    Mike Ness
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    My buddy constantly told people he was an extra on Lost. I never saw anyone call him on it.

    One night my best friend and I picked some girls up using fake names. I didn't realize that the name he had selected was Dill Masters. It was so hard to keep a straight face every time the girl said Dill, I almost blew it several times.

    Long story short we were on the beach the next day and we heard a girl's voice shouting "DILL" "DILL" it's me Heather!!! It's still one of the favorite stories in my circle of friends.
     
  7. Dr. Gonzo Esquire

    Dr. Gonzo Esquire
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    Disturbed

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    I use fake names all the time with solicitors. Every law club on campus wants me to join and they usually have free food at their meetings so I just show up, sign in under a fake name, eat, and leave. It got weird when one of the club reps saw me in the hall and called out to me using the fake name I gave. My friends did all they could to stifle their laughter while I held a 5 minute conversation with her.
     
  8. Beefy Phil

    Beefy Phil
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    This shit's a thing they fucking expect of your ass? Get right the cunt out of town.

    EDIT: Oh, in the South. Right-o.
     
  9. lust4life

    lust4life
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    Fr. Ryan. The confessional is a lot more fun on the other side of the screen.
     
  10. Tim

    Tim
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    When I was in college I had a radio show on the college station Thursday morning from 4 am to 6 am. My radio name was Billy Rubin. If you recall, Billy Rubin was the false name provided by Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs as the name for the killer. The joke was bilirubin is actually a bodily waste product that eventually turns into the chemical that makes shit brown. Unfortunately, in my case, the joke was on me because except during finals week I had no proof that anyone had actually listened to my show all semester and of course no one commented on my clever nom de radio.
     
  11. $100T2

    $100T2
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    When I was younger (22-23) and me and my buddies would go to Vegas, we'd tell girls we played pro basketball in Australia. I don't know how it started, but for some reason the girls would fall for it every single time.
     
  12. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    My buddy used to pretend to be Kevin Zegers (the kid from the Air Bud series ) to girls at the bar, yet he did not know what the guy looks like. What I didn't tell him was that a) Kevin Zegers is a good-looking guy, while he looks like he has Down's and b) Kevin Zegers's home town is a half hour from where we live, and eventually you're bound to run into somebody who knows him..as we did. A strikeout for the ages. I made fun of him for weeks. Loser.
     
  13. PewPewPow

    PewPewPow
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    "I'm in town for my friend's wedding, I own a hotel in Koh Phi Phi, Thailand."
    "Yeah, the place where they filmed 'The Beach'. It's so pretty there. The money isn't great, but I love owning my own business."

    To be fair, it's my dreamjob, and for the amount (and quality) of girls that fall for this I just might have to go for it.
     
  14. TJMax

    TJMax
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    I've never tried it, but I have it on good authority that telling women you play for the LA Galaxy works well. Will they really be able to name any of the players, other than (possibly) Beckham?
     
  15. RCGT

    RCGT
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    My real name is long and Indian, and translates to "lord-of-dance one-of-higher-aura".

    My radio name is the Reverend Nathaniel Killjoy. (I'm an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church, Modesto, CA.)
     
  16. JGold

    JGold
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    I have a pretty deadpan, sarcastic sense of humor. People that don't know me well have a hard time telling when I'm serious or when I'm joking. Lying comes easy for me, and I've convinced people of a ton of shit over the years. It's kind of a game to see how far I can go before people call me out. I've always felt dirty about doing so to pick up women, though, so skip this post if you're looking for that kinda thing.

    1) New Year's Eve, 2004-05, downtown Charlotte. I'd just finished my first semester in college and was back in my home city for the holidays, partying with my high school friends. South Florida was playing in a bowl game in Charlotte that year, and the university had rented out a downtown hotel for the players and athletics staff. We didn't know about it beforehand, we were just walking through the hotel lobby and saw what looked like a rockin' party in one of the ballrooms. Of course we had to see what all the fuss was about. I convinced the door guy, who was affiliated with the university, I was a fourth-string walk-on quarterback from Ft. Myers. The players apparently had some sort of ID card on a lanyard, and I said I'd left mine inside on my table because I thought it looked dorky. My three friends were my "brother, one of the athletic trainers and the long-snapper." It took a little convincing (I'd lived in Ft. Myers for a few years and spouted off some local knowledge), but all of us got in. For about 20 minutes, until the "long-snapper" tried to order a drink from the open bar and got busted by an assistant coach.

    2) A roomful of my ex-girlfriend's friends believed me when I said I'd been published three times in The Atlantic under pen name Oscar Wellington.

    3) At a NASCAR race in 2006 (not a fan, but going to races is fun if you like alcohol), I was drunkenly wandering around the speedway and wanted the free swag available everywhere you looked. Problem was, most of it required signing up for something or another. I had one friend whose address I had memorized, so I was him for the afternoon. I left with a couple T-shirts, coozies, hats, etc. He still gets spam mail to this day. He got me back by doing the same thing while bored in an airport, though, so we're square.

    4) At another NASCAR race, the UNC-Charlotte (not my school) ROTC students were getting to go to the pit area, meet the drivers before the race, and then sit front row for a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert. I was good friends with a few of the cadets, and they invited me along. All I had to do was convince their scary ass instructors that I was a cadet in town visiting from Charleston. There wasn't supposed to be any marching or organized ROTC activities, so I figured I was golden. Until fucking gay ass Joe Nemechek asked for a demonstration.
     
  17. JWags

    JWags
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    I don't often make up identities to get girls cause my friends tend to be dense and often don't remember to play along which makes it pretty awkward and annoying. The two times I have been unemployed since college, I have made up ridiculous professions just to amuse myself during conversations. I once told a girl I was a dolphin trainer at the Shedd and she was absolutely convinced I was. To the point where I attempt to drop the act and she kept coming back over and saying she wanted to come visit me at work in the upcoming week.

    In college, I used to make up all sorts of lies, especially when it came to meeting random people at parties that I had no desire to ever speak to again. But two situations are most notable.

    1) Freshman year, I got really sick of explaining to stupid people where Milwaukee was and even stupider girls that Wisconsin wasn't a part of the Northwest Territories. So I just started saying I was from the Chicago suburbs. I had cousins from the suburbs, a best friend in HS who went to middle school/first 2 years of HS in the suburbs, and just alot of assorted info. It was interesting when you would name drop a suburb, and the girl/guy you were talking to happened to be from the same suburb or neighboring city. The key was to choose towns with multiple high schools or the "bigger" suburbs. Looking back, it was stupid and immature, but at the time it was fun and even a challenge when you had to really craft a ridiculous lie.

    2) I had a couple closers friends, but consistently through my college years, my best friend was a huge linebacker on the football team. Freshman year, we used to go to alot of parties and it would be my 5'11 white slender self with a bunch of huge D-1 football playing jacked black dudes. The guys took a liking to me and specifically were peeved that all the jersey chasing skanks ignored me (i dont know why, more for them, but bless them for it). So #3, at the time an all-conference LB who played for the Titans for awhile, called over a couple girls and introduced me as our new hotshot kicker. Seeing as it was the only believable position, the trickery worked and the girls started asking me about kicking under pressure and my practice habits after #3 told them I was ridiculously clutch. Turns out one of them dated the kicker of her HS team and took a liking to me. I thought she might go down on me in the bathroom when the team's punter came over and was joking how I was very particular about the positioning of the laces on my holds and how I was really superstitious. It happened at a few other parties and led to a make out or two, nothing spectacular. But it definitely made parties where I was completely seemingly out of place way more entertaining.
     
  18. scootah

    scootah
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    I signed up for the PETA mailing list as Stu D. Lamb. I mostly just wanted to waste their money on international post (they ship the newsletter to Australia via snail mail at their own cost) and giggle every time I saw a a recipie pack for hippies addressed to Stu D. Lamb. It worked pretty well.
     
  19. Subito

    Subito
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    I'm not sure why, but my freshman year of college I started telling random girls that I was colorblind. Anytime some sort of color would work its way into the conversation, I'd just say "Oh thanks, I'm colorblind." Girls ate this shit up. As soon as I mentioned it I would get nonstop questions about how I had managed to live my life not being able to tell red from green. Usually one of my friends would end up ruining it but it led to some funny situations.

    I also have a habit of talking in a Southern accent when I get drunk. I was born in the South and I still have family that lives down there, so it's really easy for me to slip into the accent without much thought. I started doing it when I realized girls that have never left Ohio go nuts for accents.
     
  20. PeruvianSoup

    PeruvianSoup
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    As much as Mark Zuckerberg likes to tell people being open is great for people, it's not. Employers scan over Facebook profiles to determine candidate eligibility all of the time. After all, they can't hire someone for their excellent beer pong skills or someone who had the iron-clad will to crawl through 30 bars. Hence the shift toward the first name- middle name phenomena. I took it a step further and outright changed my first name to "Blackie".

    Well, although the graduate program might not have been able to find me, the kids in my class did. They all proceeded to ask me why I was named as such and I got bored of giving the real answer. Instead, I started telling them about how my friends joked that being Asian and having blacked out as much as I have, I should be called "Blackie Chan." The name stuck all too well and I've been known as Blackie in the graduate program ever since.