My brother in law just got engaged. My oldest son has his middle name, which is as close as I get to "feelings." I'm not normally one to offer advice and even rarely am I one to seek it. Thus I'm in the weird position of him asking me for marital advice. Somehow, in my family of six children, plus my mother included, I have the longest marriage which is 7 and a half years currently. The next closest is 5.5. Their family has been wrecked by divorce even moreso than ours has (Lonestar may or may not have had a lot to do with that, I mean for them, fucking inbreds). So now I'm in the insanely awkward position of being asked for advice, while I'm still just winging it day to day myself. "Yes ma'am" and building what she wants has its benefits I guess? Focus: what's the best advice you've ever been given? Alt focus: what's the worst?
Your son's middle name is "As Close as I Get to Feelings"? How is he dealing with that? Focus: The best advice I got from my dad was on my wedding day when he said that marriage is easy when everything fine. When shit hits the fan is when you see what you're relationship is really made of. And its not a matter of "if" things will get tough at some point, but "when." And he also said that marriages are broken apart by money issues more than anything else and to make sure we set our expectations with each other early. Alt Focus: Worst advice I was given was also from my dad. He said that Splenda is a decent substitute for salt. What in the fuck?
Worst advice: "Don't take the highway home, driving through town will be fine." In trying to light a cigarette while drunk driving I ran straight on into a steamroller doing roadwork. Thank the flying spaghetti monster no one was hurt other than the chemical burns my friend sustained from the airbag. Best advice I should have been given: They will pay your tuition and give you a stipend upon which to live, of course you're going to graduate school in San Diego!
Yes, totally, what went wrong in that scenario was the routing advice you received. Best Advice: My former boss, then partner gave me two pieces that impacted my career / life very much. First, I knew I wanted to study engineering, but thought I wanted to do mechanical. He told me, no you'll just draw air conditioners the rest of your life. Do civil. Then, after my first degree, I had a choice of two engineering schools, one more prestigious but theoretical, and the other less renowned but more practical. Perfect advice for me on both counts. Worst Advice: "I got this - trust me." I ended up in the emergency room. Although, much like Tim's experience, there was alcohol involved, so that colors the whole thing.
Best: "Of each thing ask, what is it of itself, what is it's nature" ~ Marcus Aurelius as creepily quoted by Hannibal Lecter. Surprising how much I've gotten out of this quote.
Focus: "Everyone is an asshole until proven otherwise." "Sometimes the customer is just wrong." Spoken by a now deceased boss who threw a customer out of his pizza shop for being an asshole.