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Thanks for the pep talk Mom&Dad!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, May 12, 2010.

  1. shegirl

    shegirl
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    Redemption Seeking Whore

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    My Mother can push my buttons like no one else. She's told me I'd hit menopause early, because she did. She's told me I'd go grey early, because she did. She has the uncanny ability to completely donkey kick me in the gut and then give me that nice (read=BITCHY) mom shrug, little smile and then go right back to whatever she was doing prior to firing at me. I don't know how she does it but, she's fucking good at it.

    FOCUS: What about your parents? Do they know how to tear you down with the precision of a marksman? How did/do they? How did/do you react?

    After my Mom drops the bomb I normally just sit there speechless because one, I don't know what to say and two, even I have to respect my Mother. My Grandma said so. DAMMIT!
     
  2. Degenerate

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    Try checking your facebook wall to see this from your mom:

    "Shoppers Drugmart has a 24-hour sale on Propecia!"
     
  3. Viking33

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    My father.

    The guy is, according to my friends, the epitome of manhood. He never brags, never shows off and is generally very level headed. He's got a nasty temper when he's worked up (that I've inherited as well, leaving us with some epic arguments), but rarely shows it. In the course of conversation, he generally sits back quietly, studying everyone within the group and listening patiently. He'll ask a few probing questions to fuel things and keep the conversation going. Then he'll sit back and wait a few minutes before calmly making a comment that slams the brakes on the conversation and leaves someone cut off at the knees. Every. Fucking. Time. I'd much rather keep my mouth shut in conversation when he's involved rather than speak once out of my ass and be made out to be an idiot in front of a group of friends by my own dad. I still don't know how he does it, but he's a conversational sniper. I've heard from several of his coworkers at an unnamed insurance company that he does it extremely well at work with employees that try to bullshit research and reports.

    Personally, I usually have nothing on him when he throws a verbal nut shot. He doesn't bullshit when he talks and doesn't make many mistakes in the course of conversation. If he's talking, I listen close because if he's taking the time to talk, he knows what he's talking about. Everything from sports scores and reporting to emerging markets, business strategies and ping pong.

    One day I'll get him back. I hope.
     
  4. dixiebandit69

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    There are a few things that my dad and I always clash on. One is money matters.
    He is always telling me "You're spending too much money! Watch your spending! At this rate you're gonna be broke by the time you're 30! Etc."
    Now, it is true that I really don't save any of my money, and his advice is valid, but that is my issue.
    What annoys me is that my dad has no concept of shopping around for products and services, so he often times over pays for things, sometimes by drastic amounts.
    I guess this is because he is 75 years old, and when he was growing up, there just weren't that many options, but he could at least take my advice.

    Here's and example: Tires.
    My dad is a tire salesman's wet dream. He doesn't do any research about them, and just takes the salesman's word for it that the tires he's trying to push on him are the best, and that they are totally worth the marked up price he is charging.
    It is a common occurence (common, as far as needing new tires goes) for my dad to come home with a new set of tires on his car or truck, and they are some shitty brand like Hankook*, and I see the bill, and he has overpaid by like 30% for them.
    When I ask him WHY he bought those for the price that he did, he invariably says: "Well, the man at the store said these were the best."
    THAT IS HIS JOB TO SAY THAT, DAD!!!
    And when I ask him why he didn't consult with me about this, or at least check around for better prices, his answer without fail: "I didn't want to wait."

    Waiting.
    That is another thing we always clash on. My dad is scared shitless of 1) Being late, and 2) waiting in line.
    Just today, we were going to take the dogs to the vet for their booster shots. The appointment was for 9:30 am, and the office is 20 minutes away. At 8:30, he starts pushing me to hurry up:
    " Kick it in the ass or we'll be late!"
    I'm eating breakfast at the time (Some leftover soup I made), and at 8:50 he comes into the kitchen and demands that I come now.
    I explain to him that I'm eating and we have plenty of time, but he tells me to just leave it there and I can finish when I get back.
    Then he proceeds to drive 45 miles per hour the whole way over there.
    We get to the vet's office at about 9:20, and guess what? WE WAIT FOR 45 GODDAM MINUTES BEFORE WE ARE SEEN. 45 minutes is a long time to have to restrain two young pitbulls who most definitely DO NOT want to be there.
    What did we gain by rushing over there dad?

    I've got some stuff to do right now, but I'll check back in with y'all about a few more things that we always lock horns over: driving, warranties, and his lack of faith in my skills despite overwhelming evidence in my favor.

    *Seriously, that is a shitty brand of tire. Never buy them.
     
  5. Kubla Kahn

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    My mom has a system of doing the same thing as to keep us self conscious about it when we are getting a little pudgy. Usually after a week or two of comments like that and pats on the belly, we are out hitting the gym harder and trying to eat healthy, not my little brother though. Im kind of torn, on one hand she is looking out for our health, which for the males in our family is needed, and two she isn't hyper critical or mean about it. But shit doesn't help your self esteem hearing how round your face has gotten or how our old clothes aren't fitting from a woman that usually shows nothing but unconditional love for you.
     
  6. PeruvianSoup

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    I don't know what it is about my mother. Maybe it's the fact that she's raised me and has therefore been a significant part of my life. Maybe it's because she'll have some kind words for me when I'm done. Whatever it is, she WILL cut me down about my weight without even being mean about it. With most people, I'll laugh it off. However, when my mom says it, I'm scanning the room for the nearest toilet to purge myself.

    Yes, I'm a guy.
     
  7. lust4life

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    My father was a former USMC DI and he treated my brother and me as though we were new recruits at Parris Island for much of our youth (think "The Great Santini"), involving verbal and physical abuse. My mother is a histrionic pill-popper suffering from a chronic case of hypochondria. He's dead and I put her in a nursing home. I'm dealing with it much better now.
     
  8. TX.

    TX.
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    Throughout high school my mom would make me try on her clothes from HER high school days. Bear in mind, at 18 I was 5'6" and around 105 pounds. My mom is 5'1" on a good day with a completely different build. Shockingly, I could barely squeeze into her clothes, and when I finally did I looked like crap. My mom would then point out how tiny she was when she was the head cheerleader/Homecoming queen of BFE, Texas (as if I was HUGE because I couldn't wear her clothes). I am the antithesis of a Homecoming queen/cheerleader, and I like it that way now. Then, not so much. Thanks, mom. Way to send my then fragile self-esteem soaring.

    My dad ran cross country and won a few state meets. Whenever I run a 5 or 10k he asks me my time, and it never fails. As soon as I tell him he responds, "Super. Hey, TX, let me know when you're running a 5 min mile like I used to. Back in my day, we only had one kind of running shoe. And they lasted the entire season. And I STILL ran a 5 min mile and beat those bastards at Rich Catholic Prep School. Every time." Gotta love the parentals...
     
  9. Durbanite

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    This thread was fucking MADE for me. Thank you shegirl!

    My mom has cut me down in front of her friends WITH ME SITTING AT THE SAME TABLE. It's always about the lack of proper job, how I am a drain, etc.. and she never once gives me credit for doing ALL the housework (except cooking, and I even do that once a week) - this normally takes several hours a day and wouldn't get done if I didn't do it. As a result, I know let her run me down behind my back instead - it's so much more respectful that way, right?

    My dad, at least, will thank me for helping him with stuff, after we have undoubtedly had a shouting match about how to do something. We've always had a poor relationship and are now kinda finding our feet. I still refuse to go sailing with him - once last year was enough. All I got was shouted at constantly and my battle with seasickness - a real fun combination.

    They both treat me like I'm some kind of drooling tard who's fallen off the short bus, doubly so in front of other people. I don't go out in public with them often anymore.

    I think my blood pressure will drop a fuckton once I'm overseas and maybe I might get a shred of self-confidence as a result of less beratings.
     
  10. CharlesJohnson

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    It was my mom, dad, and grandfather living in the house almost as far back as I remember. When I was 9 dad died, when I was 11 grandpop died. When I was 10ish mom got hooked on a wonderful xanax habit and in between 911 calls claiming she was dying, she pretty much turned into a zombie until I was 17. Aside from a couple arguments about how to do things whenever she got a bug up her ass, I didn't get one lick of criticism, advice, or thanks beyond "That's great." In fact the only advice I ever got was from my dad's dad posthumously: "Why stand when you can sit and why sit when you can lie down?" And people wonder why I'm an underachieving drunk.

    Any advice my mom gave me was ridiculously naive or impractical. She has no idea how to tear me down or build me up. Every lick of sense, knowledge, or worldly knowledge I got myself with 0 direction. So I'm not even sure this post is applicable. I like to think parents pick because they care, because they don't want you to make the same mistakes. Or maybe they're just projecting their own issues on their kids. You're supposed to be a better copy of them; improve all the mistakes, all the faults in their own lives. It's nice to think it is to better us. The alternative is kind of depressing.
     
  11. shegirl

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    On Saturday night we did our family Mothers Day thing. I let my hair go natural and curly rather than how I normally do which is to straighten it. It's a little wild in comparison but it's a nice change up now and then.

    The next morning I get a call from my Mother:

    Me: "Hi Mom."
    Her: "Hi Honey."
    *smalltalk about the previous nights events* then she launches into the real reason behind the call
    Her: "So stepdad and I would like to do something nice for you with the accident and all."
    Me: *the I know something is coming*pause* "Well thats very nice, like what?"
    Her: "Oh well I don't know maybe a nice dinner...or a haircut." she is the master I tell ya
    Me: *crickets* Silent and stunned, wtf, how far can you get from a nice dinner than a fucking haircut. Tactful Mom.
    Her: "Do you think you'd want the haircut or dinner?"
    Me: "What's the matter Mom you don't like my hair curly?"
    Her: "No no Honey, we just wanted to do something for you."
    Me: "I'll get back to you because I have no idea."
    Her: "Ok well you just let me know sometime this week then ok?"
    Me: "Ok Mom. Love you bye."
    Her: "Bye Honey."

    In a 5 minute conversation she told me I need a hair cut, and apparently I need it ASAP. I don't know how the hell she does it. She is a professional.
     
  12. Dcc001

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    I'll weigh in, since in my experience I have an odd family.

    We all get along.

    No, really, we do.

    Both of my parents love me beyond all reason. Sometimes that means unconditional support, sometimes it means bluntly telling it like it is. I honestly feel like I could go to either one of them with any kind of problem, and they'd help. Now, that being said, I get along on a day-to-day basis far easier with my mom than with my dad. My dad is supportive, but every once in awhile he misses the mark and manages to say the most hurtful, inappropriate thing you could imagine. However, that's rare.

    It's to the point where I can't even watch comedic shows about dysfunctional families (I'm thinking stuff like My Big, Fat Greek Wedding here), because my family is just not like that. An example? When my grandfather passed away, he left six children and five step-children. The executors (my uncles) called everyone together and read his will. All the other nine kids heard his wishes, and signed the paper that divided the estate as he wanted. No arguments, no gold digging. Another example? When my parents divorced when I was 20 they never once fought in front of me or used me as a weapon/messenger against the other. They settled the divorce amicably, out of court, and (after a two year frosty period) continue to this day to be friends and talk all the time. In fact, we still spend all major holidays together.

    I'm lucky, I've learned.
     
  13. Disgustipated

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    My mother, who was very self centred, was masterful at cutting you down for her own sake.

    In my early 20s she arrived at work to take me to lunch, which never happened. I knew something was up, but didn't have an inkling of what it might be. My brother and his wife had just had their first child, and family were coming over from New Zealand for the christening. Amongst them would be one of my father's elderly relatives who had started going senile. Because mum didn't want to be embarrassed should the relative let it accidentally slip out that my father isn't my biological father and that I was the product of sperm donation, she thought she'd better tell me first. Then, to further reinforce her care for dumping this shocking revelation on me, she told me that I better ring dad because "he might be upset that I told you" and that I should never mention it again.

    Dad, on the other hand, just says whatever he feels like without giving a shit about anyone else.

    A couple of years back, dad, my brother and I, went on a trip in the outback to a famous horse racing carnival in western Queensland. It's in the middle of the desert, there's zero facilities and the conditions are hard. I'll be the first to admit I'm not used to living rough, but I'm not exactly soft. While in town, there was a travelling boxing tent where anyone could go three rounds with a semi-professional fighter. I've done lots of training and fighting over the years, so I had a go. The guy I was matched up with was younger, fitter and taller than me. He probably also didn't get fed if he didn't put on a good show. We went to war on each other and didn't pull any punches. As any drunken crowd would, they loved it.

    Back at the campsite afterwards, I was sitting quietly nursing my bruises and holding an ice pack over my already black eye. Dad, who knows how much training I've done and sat through one of my black belt gradings, just looked at me and said, "Guess you better learn how to box then."

    Thanks dad.
     
  14. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    I love my mom, but my mother holds 60% of the entire world's entire capacity of smug. She does it in a "Good Intentions" way too, which makes the smarmy disarming of one's mood even more ninja-like for her. Trying to fight back is like threading beads with no knot on the string- no matter how you argue back, YOU'RE the asshole.
     
  15. PIMPTRESS

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    My mom was insane when I hit puberty. She would make jealous comments about my legs, saying that she'd "would still always have bigger boobs" than me, as if that mattered. She was hypervigilante about making sure I felt as awkard as possible in my skin, always remarking if I had a zit or sunburn in front of others, or comment on my heighth as if it were a blight.

    Fuck You Mom, I have a D cup AND a 36" inseam. Thanks for making me this way, haha.
     
  16. jennitalia

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    My mom also made me feel awkward about my D cup boobs. She still remarks about how I have to be careful about what I wear so I don't attract the wrong type of boys and how she never thought she'd have a "busty" daughter. She likes to steal my low-cut shirts and tell me that she can wear them because she doesn't have my "problem."
     
  17. Aetius

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    My parents taught me at a young age that perfection was expected, and if I failed at anything I should hate myself and feel ashamed. After that message was as thoroughly ingrained in my psyche as my own name, they started telling me that I'm too hard on myself, that it's ok to fail and that they have no idea where these absurdly high expectations and standards I have for myself came from.

    If you ever wonder why my evil is so sublime, it's because I learned from the best.
     
  18. JohnQ

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    My mother rarely says anything to my face. Instead, she prefers to share every issue she has with me, with her coworkers. I wouldn't care except that its a VERY small company, I used to work there, I'm still friends with many of the people there, and my girlfriend currently works there. This means that if my mom feels like complaining that I drink too much, or that she wishes I put back on the muscle I used to have when I was trying to get a different type of job that required I work out constantly, she tells all of them over lunch.

    My grandmother is actually the more entertaining one. She's been nice enough to tell me that I probably need to go ahead and marry my current girlfriend, which I have NOTHING in common with, and who honestly isn't all that bright, because, "You might not be able to do any better." The only really good part about it is that she'll tear into everyone else just as much, so I get the joy from watching their suffering as well.