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Tell me again how you ruptured your colon?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dcc001, Oct 4, 2010.

  1. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    Once upon a time, a few years ago, I was 'the other woman,' and sex in a normal bed was a rare luxury because 1) I had roommates who would talk and 2)obviously, his house was out of the question. Our meetings occurred in...odd places. One night, classy as this sounds, it was in the men's change room/showers at a white water rafting campsite. This isn't too outlandish - people have sex in washrooms all the time - but there was a small problem. Turns out that a thin layer of sand covered the concrete floors. Being on top, the only contact I had with the floor was my knees and the tops of my feet. Unbeknownst to me at the time (hey, I was distracted...gimme a break), the very abrasive floors absolutely shredded my knees and the tops of my feet. The wounds were bad enough that to this day, years later, I still have scars from them.

    Focus: Ever been injured during sex? Let's here about it.
     
  2. Ogee

    Ogee
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    This was probably one of the most painful/traumatic experiences of my life. And I actually have three scars from it.

    Shortly after I graduated and moved to a big city for work, I met this girl. We were pretty hot and heavy for a while. About two months in, she finally got her own place, which meant only one thing: sex in every room, in every position. We didn't even manage to finish unloading the truck before we stripped down and got to shining up the kitchen counter. She was perched precariously close to the edge of the counter and, sure enough, just as I was about to finish she started squirming around and fell off the counter, knocking me backwards. Normally this would have been something to laugh as we dusted ourselves off, but remember she was moving in. There was a box filled with an assortment of miscellaneous kitchen items, including metal skewers (like you'd make kabobs with).

    Guess where my hand landed? Thats right. In the box.

    I took a 12" skewer in the back of my hand (as my hand entered the box, the skewer entered my hand). It went in about two inches above my thumb, and slightly to the left. And then it came out about an inch below my wrist. In all, it traveled about two inches under the skin, parallel to my radius or ulna (I'm not a doctor, I don't know which is which). The resulting surgery left a pretty nice scar which runs from the third knuckle on my thumb to my wrist. Thankfully, I didnt lose any function in the hand, but boy was it hard to explain that one to the ER.

    Just go ahead and try to picture that. Two young kids wander into an ER in West Philly, both sweaty and looking panicked. One has his hand wrapped in a towel, with a metal rod poking out the end. Yeah. That was a good day.
     
  3. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    I have similar scars from rough, worn out carpet.

    FOCUS: Does getting my shoulder knawed raw by a girl who was a biter count?

    One girl I saw for a brief time gave absolutely awful blowjobs. One time she got so violent that she left a hickey on the head of my dick. I didn't know that was possible, and it hurt for the next few days.
     
  4. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    Other person's injury:
    The first time my current girlfriend and I were having sex, we decided halfway through to switch it up and go doggy. We were both a little drunk and as she was positioning herself, she lost her balance and fell forward, smashing the crown of her head into the corner of the window sill above my bed. She fucking crumpled into a heap and clutched at her head. I had no idea what happened, so I turned on the lights and saw blood running down her hands. I got her cleaned up and was able to use some of that liquid band-aid stuff to close the wound. We didn't finish up, and she had a killer headache for the rest of that night but especially the next morning, when it mixed with her hangover. Not exactly the best first-time experience.

    My injury:
    Again, with my current girlfriend, we had gone out to the bar and decided to get hammered on tequila. After stumbling home, she informed me that I was going to get a night of seriously great sex, that she was horny as hell, wet as ever, etc. Well, everything was true except the "wet as ever" comment.
    Allow me to digress for a moment to mention that I am like many quality DVDs: generally unrated, and entirely uncut. That extra skin means more friction, which, when properly lubricated, provides a great deal of sensation which is always enjoyable.
    Getting back to the story--despite her breathy sentiments about the moisture situation down below, she was ill-informed. Her brain and crotch were connected, sure, but there was a break in the line somewhere which kept that one little detail from getting through.
    She hopped on top of me and began a rotational, just-on-the-tip, hip tease. In the midst of this, as in the prior story, a wave of tequila drunk must have struck, balance was lost, and she sunk down with one quick flop.
    In that moment, it felt as if I had sunk my penis into one of those vaginal rape traps that they hand out in Africa. She was dry enough that the foreskin was aggresively folded over itself and it caused bleeding. I cringed and let out a yelp and she dismounted, revealing the candy apple-red head that was battered, bleeding, and not yet bruised.
    She was thoroughly apologetic, and despite the fact that my dick felt like someone tried to use it to make baloon animals, I forgave her and went to the bathroom to tend to my battle-weary soldier.
    The head was bruised a purple/blue/dark red color for four days and it hurt worse than when I decided to use Nair on my balls and got horrible chemical burns (story for another time).
     
  5. Samr

    Samr
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    My wife is clumsy and I am accident-prone and have shitty (literally, sometimes) luck. As you can imagine, we've had more than a few accidents during sex.

    - I don't know how many times she's bloodied my nose. Elbows, knees, head, any and every part on a body that can accidentally knock into someone has hit my admittedly large nose while switching positions. I've probably broken it a few times, but my nose is so fucked up from previous breaks (and my pain tolerance is at a dangerously high level) that I don't bother to get it x-rayed anymore. Plus that'd be pretty hard to explain.

    - Sex on the kitchen counter? Check. Somehow knock your leg against a cabinet and open up a wide gash? Check. Don't get stitches? Check. Scar? Check. I've had numerous gashes and resulting scars during sex.

    - We were at the lake. The wife wanted to do it on the boat, which was in the lift. Changed positions, clumsy and terrible luck me fell off the fucking boat, hit his shoulder against the dock, and bounced into the water. This is the incident I repped Dcc about where I think I almost drowned. Couldn't move for a while after.

    - One time I was "assisting" the wife with this before sex, she spazzed out and her foot kicked me square in the jaw. Cue me falling over like a sack of potatoes and going unconscious for a bit; fortunately, we were on the bed.

    - Obviously, the rug burn things. It's par for the course, except for when her dad asked me what happened. My wife changed the subject.

    - She's racked me before. It involved her knee. I don't want to talk about it.

    - This isn't an injury per-say, but one time I shat myself before sex. My stomach was having some issues. Don't want to talk about that either.
     
  6. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    I LOL'd.
     
  7. Kubla Kahn

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    I know this one guy who broke his penis the first time he had sex. He has since refused to fuck for the rest of his natural life. It's probably for the best.
     
  8. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
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    I was with my very first girlfriend, and we were doing it from behind for the first time ever for either of us. It was really nice, we were enjoying it and she asked me to go harder, so I did, and I got off, and then I looked down as I pulled out.

    My dick looked like it had been fucking an aorta. It was covered in blood, and so were the sheets, the comforter, and the bed pad thing that goes under the fitted sheet, all the way down to her mattress, and she had blood running down her legs. It wasn’t her period or anything. I just ended up breaking her somewhere in there.

    If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought she has a miscarriage. She hadn’t noticed anything, so we went and cleaned up, and she had no real pain after that, but we avoided doggy style for a while after that.
     
  9. Ogee

    Ogee
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    Sweet baby jesus. This isn't the first I've read stuff on this board about a girl bleeding during sex (didn't we have the "red wings" discussion here?). I don't know how you fuckers deal with that, if I ever looked down and saw a scene like that, I would be scrubbing like a rape victim for the rest of the night.
     
  10. shegirl

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    I have fallen off the bed more than once. Hit my head numerous times but the worst is/was mid-beej. I have TMJ, so occasionally my jaw locks. Laugh all you fucks want but it's pretty fucking freaky not to be able to close your mouth. It's only happened two or three times and I now know that I just need to calm myself, relax and it will close. The first time though, whoa man.
     
  11. Primer

    Primer
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    Posts like this let me know who is fifteen and who acts fifteen.

    Seriously, blood on your dick is rape scrub worthy? I've had the same thing happen to me, she wants me to go harder while going doggystyle and there's blood on my dick. Big deal, that's why they invented showers, if you're worried about blood, then you shouldn't be sticking your dick into something that bleeds once a month.

    Focus: Dislocated shoulder, popped my knee out of place a couple of times and bruised ribs from falling off a counter top. If you count all the bruises, scrapes and small injuries I've gotten from sex, you would think my partners are beating the shit out of me on a regular basis.
     
  12. theRookie

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    More or less the standard fair of hickey-dick and rug burn - except for the time where I was having really drunk shower sex and blacked our right before I came...woke up on my back to screaming and blood in my eyes. I had feinted, and crashed into the sharp door tracking forehead first, opening up a 2" gash. Apparently it took me a good 5 seconds to come around.

    Chick later told me she thought I was dead.
     
  13. shegirl

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    Are you volunteering, again?

    FYI, it's not so much the size of it as it is what I do to it, that causes it to happen.
     
  14. shegirl

    shegirl
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    Oh 'sack, you shall never know the joy of whatever it is I do.

    I'm the weirdo? Says the dude that chews on his toenails.
     
  15. Pato

    Pato
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    The ex and I were going at it in the dark, while standing up against a wall. This was awesome. Then she started bleeding. I didn't notice it so I kept going. Only when my fingers started getting a little.. sticky was when I decided to turn the lights on. My hands were covered in blood. The wall? Remember that scene in Dexter (season 1 I think) where he passes out when entering that motel room? Yeah.

    Aside from that, I've fallen off the bed more than a few times, nothing special.
     
  16. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    Gah, this thread made me queasy.

    My injury no.1: I had my hands handcuffed behind my back. The guy pulled them up at just the right weird angle that I felt them snap and I automatically started crying and was completely convinced both my wrists were broken. It hurt so. badly. I think they might have been a little swollen, but I don't think anything was actually all that wrong.

    My injury no.2: We were doing it on the desk, and at one point I wasn't so much sitting on it anymore as I was lying on it and my butt was hanging off and I was just being supported by wrapping my legs around him. I didn't realize it was hurting at the time, but I woke up the next morning with my lower back in so much pain that I was limping. Back pain is the worst. The best/worst part was that I was visiting him on Spring Break, and my dad was coming down to visit me for a few days. That, of course, was the morning he was arriving. So I was limping around all day with my dad and trying not to complain even though it was all I could think about. He asked, of course, and I just said I fell. I'm not sure if he bought it.

    Injury I have made on another: This is my proudest moment in my sexual history. I was in a threesome with my female friend and some guy, and to be honest, the first half of things basically just focused on me and my friend. I'd been wanting to sleep with a girl for a while, and I was pretty excited to try it out. After some hesitation, I finally got some balls and started giving her head. It turns out that I'm a natural. Like, I'm amazing. And I'm not afraid to say it. She came so hard that she thrashed and hit her head on my windowsill and she had a gigantic egg on her forehead for a few days. Hilarious.
     
  17. Pink Candy

    Pink Candy
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    What better way to celebrate the Resurrection of Christ with a good screw? At least, that was my thinking on the matter.

    The husband (then boyfriend) and I were going at it roughly on the bed, while I was praising God for allowing His Son to raise from the dead (or having an orgasm, either way) and Mr. Pink decided to step it up a notch. He picked me up and started plowing me against the door. This would've been great if suddenly his back didn't seize from an enormous cramp. We toppled over onto each other. I don't weigh very much but my 100 pounds crashing down onto his already crampy back made for a large mess.

    I was bruised where my arm broke the fall, the man could barely walk. We showed up for Easter dinner about 40 minutes late. My mother wanted to know what happened and I figured it was best not to lie. "No big deal, Mom. Sex injuries." Rather than being disgusted or angry, she was quite interested to know how it occurred. She then laughed at my pain when I told her the story.
     
  18. BeCoolBitch_BeCool

    BeCoolBitch_BeCool
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    Personally, nothing more than some impressive scratches. Girlfriend, however, briefly lost consciousness the first time she wanted to try being choked.
     
  19. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    I once got a bleeding cut on my forehead half an inch long from hitting my face on an iron bed headrail (smooth move, Ex-Lax) during relations. It was a great delay mechanism.
     
  20. jordan_paul

    jordan_paul
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    My ex-girlfriend was giving my head one day, and she was wearing these wool socks and walked across the carpet to me, and as soon as she put her lips near my dick, I got the biggest static shock I ever had right on the tip. Kinda lame, but thats the worst thing that ever happened to me during sex.