I read the first book because my sisters, sister-in-law and co-worker went apeshit over it and I thought that it was worst written piece of drivel I have ever read - even worse then The Da Vinci Code. On one hand, I like to think that whatever gets people to read must be good, that maybe this will get them into other authors & better written books. No, not in this instance, I would rather them not read at all then quote from this crap. But this is pretty funny and sums up attraction of the books.
I have read the books (if you can make it past say, the first 100 pages of the first one, you simply must see the series end), and watched the first movie. I will not see the second one, as I should not have seen the first one, or picked up the first book, or refrained from brutally assaulting the ¨friend¨ who gave me the book. The Oatmeal on why it´s popular: http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight. Having discussed this with the few people I know unfortunate enough to have read this shit, it´s pretty much dead on. The saving grace of this series will be the last movie. The Devin´s Advocate explains: http://chud.com/articles/articles/2...-DAWN-MUST-BE-MADE-INTO-A-MOVIE/Page1.html?72 Seriously, the last book is as unfilmable and as utterly ridiculous as giving Pee Wee Herman a biblical dose of LSD, writing down everything he says, then trying to make a movie out of it.
Amazingly I just read this article describing that very scene in the fourth book addition to two hilarious others. Read for yourself http://chud.com/articles/articles/2...-DAWN-MUST-BE-MADE-INTO-A-MOVIE/Page1.html?72 Apparently Edward fucks Bella unconscious their first time. And also gives her a C-Section WITH HIS TEETH. I weep for the guys who have to date these women....
You need to skip to about 7:45, but it should shed some light on your first question, although it's not really about biting. As far as the over the top fans, I've only come into contact with one at work, and it makes absolutely no sense to me. She's early thirties and married with kids, but can't help but fawn over the pasty kid (poster in cube) and the buff underager (won't even go into the shit I heard about that one.) Glad my wife only liked the books and couldn't stand the first movie.
I foresee a future of more shitty writers attempting to bank off of the same shitty series style and of emotionally and physically scarred women. Focus: If you've read, enjoyed and have been at one point or another been a fan of said series; you'll be just added to my list of un-dateable women. They'll be right up there with women who smoke and have mustaches.
I'm afraid I've been sucked in by Twilight. Not the books themselves- I can't get behind that shit. But I got sucked into reading about them for close to three hours the other weekend (it turned into the biggest Wikipedia hole I've ever fallen down), and that shit is HILARIOUS. You read each book's summary, and you think "OH MY GOD, this is the biggest piece of shit ever, this can't get any worse"... and yet it does. The last book was so bad (if you haven't read the summaries above of this floating turd, you're missing out) that even the Twihards were taking the damn thing back: http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2008/08/did_breaking_dawn_ruin_the_twi.html. If the type of people who will put this piece of insanity on their walls: think your book sucks, that should be your cue to just start hitting the bottle. The Chlorox bottle. So while I can't understand while people are so obsessed with the amazing adventures of sparkly vamp and whiny girl (and their baby Renesmee- that's not even a real name!), I can totally understand why people get into the hate- it's just too funny not to.
I have never read nor plan to read or see anything in the series. I can already tell these vampires suck ass instead of blood. I hate, hate, hate foxy vampires. I like the ugly ones, eg, Salem's Lot, Night Stalker, Nosferatu. Rather than some sly count, I prefer blood junkies and balding ghouls. I like watching these outcasts drain the blood of nubiles and I always feel a bit sad when they fade in the sunlight or get staked. In regards to werewolves, I prefer the ones who just get real hairy and mean, snort through a dog nose, and run around in their street clothes pissed at the world instead of the kind that morph from some whiny teen into a ripped, digitized beast. Of course, neither of the two scenarios makes any cinematic sense (if there is such a thing)--sometimes the vamp/wwolfs' victims return to carry on the ghoulish torch while others are slain, usually to make the headlines in the newspapers everyone else in the cast must read. As for the feminist spin on this (which I can only make myself scan in hatred), it seems like men are stuck with the madonna/whore complex while you get the good ole sensitive/brutish dichotomy but also with a bit of the full moon and blood to boot. Which makes me glad I don't menstruate.
Confession time: When I was little, I was scared shitless of vampires. I don't really know why, but I had nightmares almost every night of hundreds of vampires chasing me down and eating me or sucking all of my blood. The funny thing is, I don't think I ever even watched a monster movie with a vampire when I was younger other than The Monster Squad or maybe the Buffy movie with Kristi Swanson, so I don't really know where this fear came from. But holy shit, was I scared to death of them. I guess they no longer eat people now. All they do now is take their shirts off all the time and fall in love with underage girls. Vampires today are fucking stupid.
http://chud.com/articles/articles/2...ING-DAWN-MUST-BE-MADE-INTO-A-MOVIE/Page1.html I found this today and I can't, for the life of me, figure out how people can read this absolute garbage.
I saw this a while back and laughed my fucking ass off. (but then again, I pretty much laugh my ass off at anything that this rotund man says) As you'd expect from Smith, its got some salty language. NSFW "And you could feel the entire room...... Get moist" As you'd expect from Smith, its got some salty language. SG EDIT: Highlight the entire thing you want hidden and then click the NSFW tag.
Edward or Jacob. So bitch, do you prefer necrophilia or beastiality? This shit is already so fucking tired (not to mention pitiful). It's like the rise of Dungeons and Dragons all over again, except it's even LESS interesting and the people obsessed with it are 50 times as retarded. They've taken classic horror character icons and turned them into pussy-whipped cutsey Disney freaks that can't act. Where's Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing when you need them? At least True Blood is entertaining, sexy, funny, smart and above all GRAPHICALLY VIOLENT. PG rated Horror movies? What is your damage? If ia PG horror film doesn't have the word "Poltergeist" in the title than don't waste my fucking time.
hey i made that joke two pages ago I found a good article on the topic and anyone who brings feminism to the defense of twilight - Bella Swan is clearly in an abusive relationship http://io9.com/5413428/official-twiligh ... lationship
Here's a really good recap of Breaking Dawn. It's worth the read. Also, best quote ever from Robert Pattinson:
Hoard Stern talked about New Moon on Monday and I laughed my ass off the whole way to work. Richard Christy's summary of the movie is fucking hysterical. The discussion is long, but very funny. Part 2 "Which team are you on?" "I like the Kansas City Chiefs." Classic.
I watched the first movie just this past weekend. I did this because I was supposed to go on a date this week with a girl to see the second one. The movie reminded me of something I would see on the sci-fi channel. Terrible graphics, terrible acting, terrible dialogue, shitty story and vampires. It was so bad I canceled the date. And that is saying a lot because I really don't get that many dates. I haven't read the books. I have to assume they are just as bad. Which leads me to this question- If these movies and books are that bad how in the fuck did they get this popular? Seriously, in most fads I see some redeeming quality. I just don't get this one.