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Team Indifference: Fuck Edward and Jacob

Discussion in 'All-Star Threads' started by Dmix3, Dec 2, 2009.

  1. Dmix3

    Dmix3
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    I have never read Twilight, I never plan to read it. I will never watch any of the movies no matter how much my girlfriend begs me too. The only reason I ever know Team Edward or Jacob is because of a Burger King ad.

    Then I came across this.
    http://mylifeistwilight.com/

    Really? These people need help. After checking the wikipedia article I noticed something. It lists Edward as 107 years old, yet noone seems up in arms that he's a statutory rapist who's in love with a high school chick.

    Focus: Are you a Twilighter? Do sparkly day-walking vampires do it for you? Why?

    Alt-Focus:Discuss all things anti-Twilight.
     
  2. PIMPTRESS

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    I had a coworker go on and on about how it's "the greatest love story ever" and that Stephanie Meyers is a better storyteller than Shakespeare.

    I almost stabbed myself in the eye to change the subject.


    Edit: I also think Meyers outrage at her "leak" situation is a publicity stunt. Anyone else?
     
  3. Primer

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    Holy good fuck, have you read any of the posts on that site?

    Jesus. I don't usually condone hitting women but that would change my mind on it.
     
  4. Dcc001

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    Am I the only one who sees a picture of the lead guy, whats-his-name, and thinks, "Wow. You are so skinny and pale you look like you have a disease."

    How can anybody find this attractive? He's the opposite of how I define "male" in my head. He looks like he's a whiner and emotional and couldn't change a tire if a gun was put to his head.

    Man, I hope this batch of teenage girls manages to turn out okay.
     
  5. Kratos

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    My co-worker is obsessed with it. Is she a 40 year old hideous sea turtle? No, she's actually quite attractive, 25, with a husband and two kids. She has a huge picture of Edward in her cube, has been to the Twilight Convention, and when I asked her as a joke if she were "Team Jacob" or "Team Edward" after seeing that BK commercial, I got a 3 paragraph essay.

    This is essentially the female version of Star Trek/Star Wars, minus a couple of years on the average participant. And, I know from asking any Twilight/Star Trek/Star Wars/Harry Potter fanatic why they love the movies so much, it all goes back to the books that those movies were based on. It seems like there will always be people obsessed about specific series of books, it just takes movies to get made about them, and for those books become mainstream, for the pure obsession to become socially acceptable (and encouraged). But fuck, what do I know?

    I just wish they would do this with Vince Flynn books.
     
  6. rei

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    ... moving right along



    Its actually funny when you point out to someone drinking the kool-ade that New Moon is a doormat of a girl choosing between necrophilia and bestiality


    Except that those series (and for that matter, Harry Potter) have, at times, had good writing or direction. Not always, but they certainly have.
     
  7. ClaireV

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    I haven't read any of the books, but I have seen the first movie and chances are I'll end up watching the second one. Would I watch Twilight again? Probably not. After everyone raving about the books and Edward this, Edward that, I expected something way better. I thought it was crap. I don't know enough about the characters to be on a 'team', but even if I did, I wouldn't be on either side. One is a pale, awkward, 107 year old vampire, and one is a 17 year old wolf?

    I'll pass on both.
     
  8. Gramercy

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    I'm probably the only guy on here that read that piece of shit book. My girlfriend (Princeton grad and professional JAP) read all of the books and a good amount of her friends like it, and they all see the movies. I wanted to see what the fuss was about and why girls are obsessed with Edward Cullen, so I read the first book. You can get through the 500 page book in about 4 hours.

    The book was terrible. Edward acts like a generic asshole that shows that he can be nice like, once a week, and the girl in the book is obsessed with him because of this. It's nothing groundbreaking at all, but good for the writer because she struck it rich.
     
  9. Pinkcup

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    No, no. You're not the only one. I look at Edward and wonder if Bella fucking him would compromise his immune system further. THAT would make a good book, though.

    One of the feminist blogs I read has a great discussion on this. Edward and Bella promote very, VERY unhealthy relationship dynamics. He watches her while she sleeps, and sneaks into her room to do so--in my neighborhood, that's called BEING A CREEPY MOTHERFUCKER. Also, criminal trespass. He slashes her tires when he doesn't want her to go somewhere--again, MOTHERFUCKER. Also, destruction of personal property. And this is being romanticized for young girls that already have unrealistic views of male-female relationships? I foresee a huge trend of girls dating fucktards like Edward and being completely unaware that their screwed up relationships aren't normal.
     
  10. Kubla Kahn

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    How many wanna be writers are kicking themselves for not thinking of putting out this shit first? And then going out and writing even shittier knock offs?
     
  11. cllrbone11

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    It's too late. We've lost them forever. That site is depressing.
     
  12. shegirl

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    If that's the level of fucking insane they are, we didn't want them in the first place. This just brought the crazy to the surface sooner. Sure I had a lifesized poster of Bon Jovi but that was different.....sorta? I never talked to it!
     
  13. Woody

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    I don't get it, I used to play Vampire the Masquerade game back in my old DnD days and got my lunch money stolen because I was a nerd.


    Now every girl is obsessing about vampires?


    What.The.Fuck.
     
  14. Beefy Phil

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    You mean the author is hocking idealized views of relationships, commitment and love to unwitting young girls who are too immature and emotional to know the difference between actual emotional connection and stylized romance?

    That sounds positively Mormon.
     
  15. Crazy Wolf

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    They're not vampires, dude, they're immortal sparkly people who have basically no downside to their existence. Being on Team Nosferatu will do nothing.

    Seriously, the thing I'm most pissed about isn't the horribly Mary Sue-ing of the author, there's plenty of shitty fanfic sites that have far worse writers, I'm not pissed about stupid people having their money taken from them, I'm most annoyed by changing the perception of vampires from, well, vampires, into what are basically demigods. Stick with the mythology or create something new, assholes! Tolkien didn't drastically change the definition of "goblin" to fit his new critters, he called them "orcs".
     
  16. erk33

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    If a vampire were to bite a werewolf, would it turn into a vampire-werewolf? Would it not be not changed at all? Also, who would win in a fight, a vampire or a werewolf?
     
  17. kuhjäger

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    I read in a review that in this New Moon one that while the "Vampire" (he is really an elf or faerie based on his traits and "magical abilities) was emotionally abusive, the werewolf groups are actually physically abusive, supposedly the leader attacked his wife, and scarred her really badly, but that was who he was, and she loved him so he stayed. So the chick basically can take the emotionally abusive one, or the one who is probably going to beat the shit out of her. Girls think this is the norm?


    I forsee a future of emotionally and physically scarred women.
     
  18. Cope

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    And this is why Twilight not only annoys me, but scares the shit out of me.

    [​IMG]

    That is a felt Bella womb. Why anyone thought that creating anything like this was a good idea is beyond me.
     
  19. swood

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    The only problem with Twilight hate is the fact that people seem to taking hating Twilight as serious as the fangirls. Myself included in that, I've never read the books or seen the films yet I'm willing to shit all over the fandom at a moments notice, and actually have a basic knowledge of the plot.

    I only really know of Twilight because of the internet hating on it, because in real life I've not actually had much experience with the crazies. I saw the original Twilight trailer and thought 'well, that looks shit', and a few people have told me to read the books because apparently I'll love them, but unfortunately I grew out of Mary-Sue fanfiction when I was twelve. But reading about the books on Wikipedia, and the like lead me to hate the whole franchise.

    Just hearing about vampires that go out in the daylight, and sparkle, makes me want to vomit, I'll stick to my Buffy dvds where most of the vampires are vampires, thanks. And in the third book, I'm assuming this doesn't count as a spoiler by the way, the 17 year-old wolf falls in love with Bella and Edward's baby who coincedentally has the Robin William's Jack ageing disease. To me that's more pedorific than 107 year-old Edward with his teenage girlfriend.

    I think the reason why the haters of Twilight are much more vocal than the haters of other fandoms is because Twilight is poorly written, and people percieve it to not be worthy of such insane adoration, and the reactions of the fangirls when you dare say anything against it.
     
  20. McDermott

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    I think there are a few principles at work with regards to this Twilight mania.

    The first would be heavy identification with fictional characters bordering on obsession. I only have a minor in psych so this could very well be bullshit, but there seems to be some correlation between identification with fictional characters and loneliness. The loneliest women I know are posting statuses on facebook detailing their obsession for the Twilight saga and how no man can measure up to Edward. I picture them imagining themselves as Bella being obsessed over by Edward Cullen.

    The second is good old fashioned backwards rationalization. I think in this context its more of a "He fulfills one or two of my needs (being completely obsessed with a character I can identify with, being physically attractive) and I like him. I like him, therefore everything about him is attractive." Then you get a bunch of guys complaining that women are attracted to anorexic pale glittery stalkers, when it is probably only coincidental. This is also the phenomenon causing men to date whores, then get surprised when they're cheated on or treated poorly.

    "When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues."

    Just my two cents. Oh, and french playwright Honore de Balzac's.