My best advice is simply practice makes perfect. I remember I used to get tipsy, giggly and annoying after just a couple of beers. Boy, those were the days. I also try to drink a glass of water with every alcoholic beverage. Am I in the bathroom constantly? Yes, but no hangovers! And I fully expect to hear more about that story involving sex with a minor. Do 30 year olds drink with high schoolers for any other reason?
This was my first thought. Drunk high schoolers are fucking tedious, there must be some kind of motive to subject yourself to that. Or she's just fucked in the head and thought it'd make her popular. I also drink lots of water, if I don't I will at least be quite fatigued the next day. Don't mix hard alcohol, you are more likely to get sick.
If you're a girl, stay off the rye. As the constant DD over the course of my life, I've noticed a trend whenever girl + rye happens. Y'all get mean. As in, "feeding that bitch kidney shots" mean. Especially the girls who are super sweet and nice sober. Drink rum or vodka or something else, instead.
It's not a race... so pace yourself. Don't look like a newb by drinking 9 shots of tequila at once. Believe it or not, puking and babysitting pukers is not really a fun time, and it makes you look like a bitch.
Three Rules for Milk-Based Cocktails 1) If you're drinking milk-based cocktails tonight, you're only drinking milk-based cocktails tonight. Anything else, and you're asking for it. 2) If you're male, don't order milk-based cocktails at a bar. Yes, White Russians are delicious. That's why you drink them alone, in the dark, while watching The Big Lebowski. That's what they're for. 3) Get ready to poop.
Then don't introduce him to your girlfriend. And I was alright for the first hour. And I was 15. You wish you were that cool back then.
Real life isn't like movies. People don't just throw down straight alcohol without wincing over and over, especially in the early years. Mixers are your best friend and will help smooth out your buzz throughout the night. Don't be a hero. There's nothing wrong with pacing yourself. People will still become more attractive magically if you don't power drink, as well. Don't become an improv alchemist when you first start searching for your favourite booze. It may sound cool to mix Goldschlager, tequilla and pickle brine together to see what it's like but you can pretty much guarantee you'll be seeing that unholy toxic concoction in reverse 60 seconds later, idiot.
My personal favorite was bong water, armpit sweat, and liquified bacon fat with 151 flaming on the top. It was called "riding the hog." Focus: -Leave the grain alcohol for the idiots. When they're passed out on a grimy toilet seat getting drawn on and eventually duct taped to the tank, you'll be happy you stuck with something more sensible and can actually have a hope of performing in the sack with the chick you fed booze to all night. -Whiskey Dick has a Russian cousin
Cheap College drinking rules 2 Sparks and a 6 pack will make you have a wild night. Buy the second cheapest liquor in the store...you know, for class. Every Day is a Natur-day. Don't bring your credit cards to the bars. Instead, befriend the kid with his parents credit card. Those first few days of spring, when the weather is turning for the better, and the sun is shining... must be spent day drinking. Chances are the material taught in class that day won't be on the final.
Drinking games are the world's greatest icebreaker. Alcohol is a social lubricant, but don't let it become a crutch. If you can only approach girls after 10 drinks, you need to work on your sober social skills. Alcohol affects people differently. This may be psychological or physiological, I don't know, but it's fucking true. The only way to learn your own personal rules for drinking is to experiment. For instance, beer sends me from "mild buzz" to "blackout" without much in between, rum makes me the life of the party, and wine makes me chatty but gives me terrible hangovers. Some people fight when whiskey drunk, some people can't get their dick up after nine beers, and some people can hold down tequila shots but not vodka shots. Learn how different alcohols affect you and apply that knowledge to whatever situation you're in, and you'll not only have more fun when drinking, you'll be much more enjoyable to be around.
And don't be one of those "hold-my-hair-rub-my-back-get-me-a-Coke" assholes. Buck up and quit crying too please... just puke and get it over with.
If you want to avoid a killer hangover, eat a few cucumber slices before you go to sleep. Cucumbers have enough B vitamins and electrolytes that you'll wake up sans le headache. I thought it was all lies, but I tried it, and that shit works.
My friend's brother mark who I mentioned in the "first time being drunk" thread was the same age as most of the fresh teachers at my highschool, so we got to hear about which ones were huge party animals. I dont remember drinking with any but a few friends smoked up with one of our english teachers at Bonnaroo. We had three huge deadhead teachers, who somehow all became the football coaches.
There is one exception to this good rule. If your group is having trouble deciding who the designated driver should be work quickly to eliminate yourself from the running.
What the hell is rye? Do you drink it when you eat poutine or something? I hear rye and think bread. Huh? If I know I'm going to be drinking for hours on end I have a trifecta so I, not only don't get too hammered but I've also found it actually prevents the puking hangover. I drink a screwdriver (recently I've discovered a Salty Dog though and found I really like them and tend to drink them a bit slower because of the pucker factor), then a beer (which I never completely finish the last few swigs are warm backwash anyway) and then a bottle of water. I repeat the rotation throughout the party or whatever. It works for me but I very well may be a mutant. Who knows but it works so I stick with it. Oh and Midol. You may laugh but popping a couple of those along with some water works wonders the next day. Try it. It's not just for periods anymore. And no, it won't make you sprout bewbs. Sorry guys, it can only help so much.
If you're drinking wine, have some water to swish with. Keeps your teeth from turning purple. Eat. For two reasons: the first of which, it helps you drink more. Second, it keeps you from downing three burgers and a large fries from McDonald's later that night. Hangover replenishment: dilute gatorade in half and drink. Makes it more isotonic. Y'know, so you're not dehydrating yourself with all of the sugar and salt. Combine with a nice hot shower. If you are so inclined to raise your tolerance, you can do it by having one or two drinks a few nights of the week. Puking: just don't give up after. Beer goggles: if you can, find a girl who's not particularly attractive while sober, and then check while you're loaded. The difference may scare you. Remember that fear. Lastly, when you start drinking, start with the cheap stuff. You won't know the difference, but your wallet will.
Them's fightin words. I dont' even drink, and I know better than to allude to whiskey ignorance. I present to you rye whiskey, or "rye." Which, for most Canadians, means: All hail the rye!