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Take your kale and shove it, I'm having a cheat day

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Jul 16, 2014.

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  1. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Focus: Like many of you, I can eat the hell out of a good pizza. I have a hard time stopping when I'm full....fuller...uncomfortable....someone load me onto a stretcher because I need my stomach pumped. I am not too big on take out pizza, though. I think because I grew up eating them instead of delivery, frozen pizzas sometimes hit the spot. I love Mellow Mushroom pizza. I make a knockoff crust that is fucking divine.

    I very seldom give in, though. Really good, satisfying pizza is a disaster of carbs and lactose and I love not being overweight.

    Anti-focus    : definitely hotdogs. Something about the pink, smooth texture of them freaks me out. It reminds me of solidified cat puke. I also am weirded out by those spicy red hotdog things. I saw a guy from our kitchen eating one for lunch and all I could think of was butthole cancer. I'm game on brats or Conecuh, though, for whatever reason that may be. Oh yeah, I just remember. BECAUSE THEY ARE DELISH.
     
    #41 bewildered, Jul 22, 2014
  2. Jimmy James

    Jimmy James
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Washington. The state.
    Focus: Give me Korean food. My mom lives in the middle of the Pacific, the next best thing is food cooked by Koreans in a teriyaki restaurant. Nothing comes close to my mom's kalbi shortribs and shoyu chicken, but they do their best. If it comes with a side of kimchi fried rice with sunny side up eggs on top, I cry big man tears of happiness.

    Anti: Brussel sprouts. I imagine a chewed up tennis ball soaking in a portajohn during Woodstock '94 to be a good parallel for taste, texture and smell.
     
    #42 Jimmy James, Jul 23, 2014
  3. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Beer. I never had an emotional response to food. I eat because it's good, and for the nutrition and fuel. Nothing sentimental in the slightest about my likes or dislikes. But, booze was my palliative for a while. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it only exacerbated problems. Now, though, if I have a bad day, I will typically just dwell on it sober until I go full retard drunk and hopefully forget about the issue. Or sleep hard on it. But I can't eat sleep, so this is a terrible post on topic.

    Alt. Focus: Some of you folks' food proclivities are adorable. Nothing is really that bad. It's edible stuff. A lot of it I'd just avoid, but broccoli doesn't elicit a visceral response. But you know what the fucking devil is? Durian Fruit. Oh yeah raisins, brussel sprouts, hotdogs, terrible. This fucking "fruit" looks like a WWII sea mine and tastes and smells like someone took a shit on rotten onions. Then this wonderful, inescapable perfume fills your head like sticky, sick, death smelling fog. This is before you even taste it. After your first and last bite, because one is all it takes, the fruit gives off this intense vanilla flavor on top of the maggoty donkey asshole. Try to get that taste out of your mouth. Better yet, just don't eat it. Oh, yeah, it also has the texture of baked custard.

    [​IMG]
     
    #43 CharlesJohnson, Jul 23, 2014
  4. Danger Boy

    Danger Boy
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    Durian fruit is one of nature's many ways of proving that humans are fucking idiots.
     
    #44 Danger Boy, Jul 23, 2014
  5. Chellie

    Chellie
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    Disturbed

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    Comfort food: My mom's chicken noodle soup. I only get it on my birthday, and when she dies, it will die with her. Also, ravioli or tortellini baked with cheese, till the cheese is all browned and almost crispy on top.

    Things I will not put in my mouth:     This list is extensive, because I have a super mega ultra enhanced sense of smell, and a thing about texture, and I'm probably one of the pickiest eaters ever.

    Any seafood, at all, ever. It all tastes like it smells, and it smells like a dirty fish tank.

    Anything with bones still in it is a no go, from T bone steak to chicken wings. Once when I was little I bit off a big ol' chunk of rubbery vein in a chicken leg, and now I almost vomit just seeing them.

    Mushrooms, and similarly any cheese with fucking fungus fuzz on it, cauliflower, broccoli, anything avocado, raisins, soft fleshy veg/fruit/melons... I'm just going to stop now, or this post will get ridiculously long
     
    #45 Chellie, Jul 23, 2014
  6. xrayvision

    xrayvision
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    Do you go ass to mouth?

    Just wondering...
     
    #46 xrayvision, Jul 23, 2014
  7. Now Slappy

    Now Slappy
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    #47 Now Slappy, Jul 23, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
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