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Sweet, anal...eww..does it..does it always smell this bad?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by toddus, Mar 25, 2010.

  1. toddus

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    I call shennigans. Surely the money shot would have blown out any shit that may have got stuck up there.
     
  2. Virty

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    See kids this is why you stick with the vagina. I'm all about having some freaky times with women. But Chater just posted the very reason you gotta be careful with this "shit" haha. Sorry I liked what I did there.

    Seriously though, I've never been into anal. Yeah it is there, I'm sure it feels great and different. But no thank you.

    Also, this is why you never ever smell your fingers.
     
  3. MoreCowbell

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    Thanks Chater. Now I never want to have anal sex again.
     
  4. dixiebandit69

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    Well said man.
    The only girl I've ever done anal with was my ex-wife. I tried for months to persuade her to try it, and she stonewalled at every turn.
    Well, one night she got really drunk and I got to do it....And yes, I got shit on my dick.
    An intersting side note: After getting her black cherry popped, she would request anal whenever she got drunk. Those time she made sure to take a shit before we started, and we didn't have that problem again.
    I still like pussy best though.
     
  5. ghettoastronaut

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    Girls don't poo. Everyone, stop having sex with trannies.

    The first time I had anal was one of those stereotypical "Oh damn I don't have a condom can I come in your ass?" situations. We had discussed maybe trying anal sex some day int he future and I popped the question that aday and she went with it. It was neithet traumatic nor incredible, but there has been a wide standard deviation in the ejoyability of anal sex experiences (for her) since then.

    I sometimes wonder if my bouts with epidydimitis, and the effectiveness of ciprofloxacin in treating it (read: E. coli) was caused by experimenting with anal sex. The only category of risk factor that I fit into was "insertive partner in gay sex", kinda.
     
  6. xrayvision

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    My ex gf and I did anal pretty regularly. I was the first person she did it with and she was also the first person for me as well. I think it feels really good. The first time, I got no shit anywhere on my dick. I guess that was just pure luck because after that, I would routinely get a little mud on the helmet.(normally under the ridge of the head) It just comes with the territory and we hop in the shower right after.

    I never once got an infection from it and we never went back to vaginal sex after we did anal. I never had any shit in the urethra and if there was, it probably came out when I came or pee'd after.

    One time though, she said it felt differently than normal when we were doing it and it was slightly uncomfortable. When I pulled out, there was A LOT of shit on my penis and she RAN to the bathroom. Naturally, it smelled pretty terrible, but after a thorough cleaning, all was well.

    I just figure that if you play in the poop shoot, you will get dirty occasionally. Not a big deal.
     
  7. iczorro

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    I was 21, in the Middle East, and my buddy's girlfriend's best friend's ship was coming in. Gorgeous black chick named (I swear) Ernie. It was Ernestina or something, I think. Anyway, we hit it off right away at the bar, got shithammered, and then went back to the friend's house to have sex on everything she owned. Being 21, whiskey dick did not mean I couldn't get it up, it meant I was rock hard and couldn't get off.

    At one point, her laying on the couch, me on my knees in front of it going to town, I pulled out a little too far. The memories are blurry. I remember thinking, "why am I having such a hard time getting back in? did her vagina just snap back to super tight like elastic?" In retrospect, I remember her mumbling, "wait, wait... no... ooooooooh". Being, as I said, housed, I didn't know what I'd done until I reached down to rub her clit and noticed I could put my fingers in her, and feel my dick on the other side of that very thin wall. Surprised the hell out of me. Anyway, I guess she liked it, cause the moans picked up a notch, and I later overheard her telling the friend, "That shit was GOOD."

    Had a rubber on, so no shit in the dick for me.
     
  8. JohnQ

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    I was 17 and it was the same night I lost my virginity. We had rented a hotel in Savannah and spent the entire night there. I was so excited about this that I just tossed my car keys to a couple of friends that I'd driven down there with to meet up with the girl. They spent the entire night driving around the city, going to the beach, and doing who-knows what else while the girl and I had sex. It was my first regular sex, oral, and anal. All three were honestly a little bit of a letdown at the time since, as a guy, there is just SO much build up to it.

    However, since this is an anal thread, I do have a more interesting one. A girl I dated named Angel used to go hang out at a hotel room with her friend Chastity every week(cue the jokes about me hanging out with a pack of strippers) since Chastity's boyfriend was married and worked nights. He'd get off in the morning and come to the hotel to sleep with her. As they had the hotel all night, they would sit around and drink. I came over to enjoy the room, had something to drink and ended up doing Angel up the ass while her friend sat on the other bed pretending to watch TV. Everything was perfectly fine till she got off and was going to the bathroom to clean up. All of a sudden she stopped and looked at the bed and asked, "Whats that?" It was, of course, a small piece of shit that just fell out after she got off. I just quickly said, "I don't know, go clean up" before she had much chance to think about it. Then got some kleenex, grabbed it, and threw it away. No sense in embarrassing her to the point that I wouldn't get a chance to do it again. I'm pretty sure thats the only time I've had any bad experiences with it.
     
  9. Stealth

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    The prudent thing to do when going down the Hershey Highway is to wear a condom.
     
  10. redbullgreygoose

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    I've never had the pleasure of having anal. But my friend (and I think he's full of shit*) claims he got a kernel of corn on the condom the one and only time he ever did it with his girlfriend. I guess it's possible but...who knows if it's true.


    *Yeah, it's a pun. So fucking what?
     
  11. Kubla Kahn

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    I haven't been able to try it yet, not something Im really too motivated to try. As the resident Middle School slut so eloquently put it, "What goes up must come down." Meaning she got the sperm shits after her boyfriend was done pumping her full of it. So so classy.
     
  12. dubyu tee eff

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    First time I tried anal was with an ex about 3 years ago and it was pretty retarded. She basically did it because I somehow managed to convince her it would be awesome. When it came time to go through with it I wasn't even smart enough to get lube. We decided to give it a shot with some porno lube(spit) and basically it didn't work. At first I couldn't even get it in. Eventually I got it past some sort of barrier and it immediately hurt her so much that she basically yelled at me to take it out. We tried to give it one more shot but by now the mood was so fucked that I didn't even have enough of a hard on to even try to get it in anymore. We gave up and were both so turned off to the concept that we never gave it another shot. Stuck with the vag from there on out.
     
  13. thatone

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    My ex thought that copping it in the poop chute somehow kept her closer to Jesus than giving up the vag, so our first fuck involved me drilling her in the shitter for a good twenty minutes. Because I was such a loving boyfriend, I primed the area good and proper to ensure entry.

    I guess, technically, our second time I reverse Kobe'd her but I'll be damned if I was with a woman who thought that buttsecks was more moral than vaginal intercourse.
     
  14. Creelmania

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    My talks with my current girlfriend about anal started very early in the relationship. It was mostly joking on my part, but it was half serious as well I guess, since I really wanted to see what all the fuss was about. She was first extremely turned off by the idea, but then one day at the mall we discovered a glorious product that would eventually lead to me firmly placed up her shitpussy.

    [​IMG]
    De-sensitizing anal lube? Why yes please.

    Even after finding this she was still a little turned off by it, but then suddenly one day when talking about it, she agreed. I didn't want to risk her changing her mind so I didn't ask questions and just went with it. She bought it down at the mall one day with a friend and we saved it until after we went to the Kiss concert. With both of us nice and drunk we figured it would be a perfect time to try it out.

    Well me being drunk was kind of our downfall.

    I went down on her, and started using my fingers to work the lube in, waiting for her to give me the signal that we were good to go. Well silly me, being drunk and all, accidentally got some in her vag too. So after working plenty of it in, we started having regular sex to give it some time to start working. Well this stuff works extremely well, let me just say that, and not just the butt, but anywhere you put it. So after going at it for about 10 seconds, she starts to become quieter and quieter until she stops making any noise at all, and I ask what's up.

    Her "I can't feel anything down there"
    Me "Like this?? (Start hammering away)
    Her (Sitting up and looking at me) "Nope, nothing at all"
    Me (Realizing what I had done) "Aw shit"

    And then at this point she just started laughing. We did try it in her butt after, but between her getting no feeling out of it whatsoever, her laughing and both of us being drunk, it was a bit of a let down.

    The next time we tried it we were both sober and I managed to steer clear of her vag so it was a lot more enjoyable relatively speaking, but still not as great as I had expected. She said we can try using less and less of the de-sensitizing lube until we only need regular lube, but I've kind of lost interest to be honest.
     
  15. RoscoeJ

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    Been up the chocolate starfish with 3 women in my life.

    The first time sorta happened naturally with my girlfriend at the time. We were having a marathon sex weekend and we just wanted to experiment and try something new. A bit of probing and playing around followed by slow insertion with plenty of lube - all in all a good experience and clean. I didnt really see the big deal in it though and never pressured her for it.

    The second time I tried it was fine as well with another girlfriend, again, it just occured out if the blue, no residue, no shit dick, clean as whistle. It wasn't until the eventful 3rd time with a girl I was seeing for a couple months that when I pulled out the condom was covered in mucus shit. I dont know what she ate that day but it was foul. She was embarrassed, I was embarrassed and taking that condom off was not fun. Cue awkward silence when watching tv afterwards. I did not want to be touched for a while after that and it took a couple of days to get back to 'normal sex'. The thought of it still gives me chills to this day. After that experience, I had enough of doing anal. Nowadays I am not really interested in it to be honest unless I am watching porn, normal vanilla sex on the screen isn't 'real porn' and boring unless the chick is getting it up shit creek. Anyway, I digress. There is no need to do it anymore, its crossed off the list, but understand its a right 'of passage' for some.
     
  16. Virty

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    Um, very sorry for bring back a dead thread. But this is just too on point to not post.

    Apparently lots of wine makes me want to do some freaky things. Including something that I might have hated on earlier.

    All I'm going to say is, anal. I'm sorry for hating on you, seriously. I was a little harsh, you aren't that bad.
     
  17. amjoyce

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    The whole anal thing actually smooth sailing for me until the very end after I had finished and she went to move and basically farted my cum back on me with a distinctive brown hue... I got up and took a shower, no harm done. Did it again a few days later. I always make sure to take a piss soon after to avoid any UTIs though.
     
  18. Crown Royal

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    That is a horrifying and ugly story.

    For me, never have. Not interested, plus there's the disgusting risk factor. I have the same feelings towards tossing the salad. Shit comes out that door and that makes it disgusting, I don't care how it feels. Even back in my single days when I was a compete libertine I had no desire. Maybe it's just because the vag is too heavenly to pass up, combined with the fact the many girls aren't game for anal or take endless coaxing in order to participate.

    Whatever. I have had a few buddies that ask me now and then if I've "Tried it yet". When I deny it, I get the same shit: I have to try it, I don't know what I'm missing, etc. Yes, I do. I'm missing out on something that may or may not scar me for life emotionally, and I'm not going to fix something that isn't broken.