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Strumming the Banjo

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Maltob14, Oct 4, 2010.

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  1. Aetius

    Aetius
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    [verb]ing the [noun].

    Seriously, it's masturbation, use the right inflection and anything is a euphemism for it.
     
    #21 Aetius, Oct 4, 2010
  2. Maltob14

    Maltob14
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    Space Cadet

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    Hugging your grandma.

    I don't think it works that way dude...
     
    #22 Maltob14, Oct 4, 2010
  3. Danger Boy

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    #23 Danger Boy, Oct 4, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  4. BeCoolBitch_BeCool

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    Jilling off (as in, the opposite of Jacking off).

    My old job had a calendar we would use for requesting off. Whenever my supervisor Jill would write "Jill Off" on the days she needed, I would always say "I guess we know what she's doing that day." Everybody at work thought I was really funny and liked being friends with me.
     
    #24 BeCoolBitch_BeCool, Oct 4, 2010
  5. Samr

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    Raping your mother
    Beating your children
    Injecting your botox
    Hosing your housewife
    Posting on your porn thread
    Ballsacking your hairbrush

    yeah, not gonna work.....

    (Interestingly, in trying to continue to disprove Aetius's post, I came up with a few more appropriate ones:)

    Beating your pitbull
    Punching the homeless man/woman
    Going postal on your pussy
    Stuffing your mailbox
    Ringing your doorbell
    Rafting the river
    Answering the other line
    Fumbling the football (yes, came up with this while watching the Dolphins' shitty special teams)
     
    #25 Samr, Oct 4, 2010
  6. Volo

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    Harpooning the salty longshoreman.
     
    #26 Volo, Oct 4, 2010
  7. ghettoastronaut

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    Juicing the cougar.

    Salting the cod.

    Pitting the avocado.

    My favourite list of sexual innuendo:

     
    #27 ghettoastronaut, Oct 4, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  8. Beefy Phil

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    Disregarding the deficient reality.
     
    #28 Beefy Phil, Oct 4, 2010
  9. Pinkcup

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    I am partial to "Deejaying". As in "Sorry ladies, can't go out tonight. I'll be too busy DJ-ing [my clit]."

    Because, honestly, it's the same hand movements and everything.

    But I've also heard:
    -Labia Lovin'
    -Fingerbanging
    -Giving yourself a Wet Wendy
    -Spending alone time with yourself
    -Pussy Playtime
     
    #29 Pinkcup, Oct 5, 2010
  10. Harry Coolahan

    Harry Coolahan
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    Gutting the fish.

    (I like to use this one as a sex euphemism but it also works for masturbation, in a weird, surreal way.)
     
    #30 Harry Coolahan, Oct 5, 2010
  11. Disgustipated

    Disgustipated
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    Shaking the dust off the drapes.
    Washing the beef curtains.
    Denying the masses.
    Alice going down the rabbit hole.
    Slippery dipping.
    Five finger discounting.
    Canoeing down river.
    Filleting the fish.
    Tackling the taco.
    Spelunkering.
    Teaching kitty to do tricks.
     
    #31 Disgustipated, Oct 5, 2010
  12. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Awesome, now that's in me head. I'm never hugging my grandma again.

    Electing your president.
     
    #32 Rush-O-Matic, Oct 5, 2010
  13. Misanthropic

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    Lubing the labia
    Teasing Truman Capote
    Shaking hands with Hillary
     
    #33 Misanthropic, Oct 5, 2010
  14. lhprop1

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    Paddlin' the pink tuna boat
     
    #34 lhprop1, Oct 5, 2010
  15. ssycko

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    Sexually stimulating oneself by the stroking of the clitoral area and/or internal penetration using one's fingers/ assorted sexual toys or any combination thereof, usually to the point of orgasm.
     
    #35 ssycko, Oct 5, 2010
  16. lhprop1

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    Bumpin' the piss fenders
     
    #36 lhprop1, Oct 5, 2010
  17. effinshenanigans

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    Grabbin' some Arby's
     
    #37 effinshenanigans, Oct 5, 2010
  18. rei

    rei
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    clamdigging
     
    #38 rei, Oct 5, 2010
  19. shegirl

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    Opening the beef curtains and stirrin the lo mein.
     
    #39 shegirl, Oct 5, 2010
  20. Nick

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    Dammit. I was saving that one for the abortion thread.
     
    #40 Nick, Oct 5, 2010
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