Focus: Share a story about a strip club. When I was in high school, me and some friends skipped school and went to a strip club. I didn't drink but my friends all got hammered. In the strip club, Showgirls, I was sitting next to one of the guys who was talking about how the eastern European stripper currently dancing in front of us was a dirty communist. She thought it was me and grabbed me by the throat with her massive fucking nails, and told me that she was Hungarian and not a communist at all. I then spent the next few months worry about getting an STD from a stripper that I didn't even fuck.
For my 19th birthday we went to a strip club and one of the girls put shaving, not whipped, cream on her nipples and beckoned me over to her because someone must have told her it was my birthday. Naturally I gave her my best motorboat and ended up with shaving cream in my mouth and hair.
My first bouncing job I had was at a strip bar here in town called The Fabulous Forum. Working at a strip club shows you what goes on behind the scenes at one of those places, and therefore completely turned me off to them. Never in my life have I worked in a place where the staff had more contempt for one another. The other bouncers were no-neck power-abusing retards who probably only wanted to work at the bar because they dreamed about dating a stripper. The dancers were a mean mix of clueless college girls, biker sheep and drug abusing whores. They were insecure, tempermental and above all tough. One time I restrained one girl from another, and she kicked me in the face. Let me detail that: She kicked me in the face while I was holding her from behind. She kicked me over her own shoulder, putting a dent in my cheek for a few days. It turned out she was a really good student in Tae Kwon Do and nobody decided to enlighten me. Although it was amusing at a distance, the fun wore off quick and I was stuck playing mediator between idiots half a dozen times a night, and since then I haven't enjoyed strip clubs nearly as much. But hey, that's what ecstasy is for.
Other cities and states have fantastic strip clubs, Massachusetts is not one of them. Especially Central MA. A few years ago a buddy of mine got a job offer in the midwest and jumped at it. We literally had two days to get everyone together for a half assed going away party. The party took place on a Tuesday night which happened to be amateur night at the strip club. There were about eight of us sitting at a large table at the head of the stage. I of course had imbibed a little before hand so I wouldn't have to suck down watered down drinks at the club. We were there for about a half hour and I became bored. The waitresses serving drinks were far more attractive than the girls on stage and it appeared that every amateur there was a first timer. Horrible coordination, extremely self-conscious, etc, etc. One particular girl was the worst I've ever seen. She had a dumpy doughy body and had these herky-jerky movements that reminded me of a puppet. Of course I made this known to everyone at the table and then went on to explain that she would only be worse if she was wearing leg braces and had to stop to adjust them to achieve poses. Imagining it put me in fits of laughter making the already very self-conscious girl even more so. It was as I stood on my chair and pantomimed a stripper having to adjust braces to better complete certain dance moves that the bouncers came over and asked that I sit down and stop laughing because I was making the dancers uncomfortable. My retort that the strippers were making me uncomfortable with their lack of appeal, coordination, and looks was the comment that crossed the line and got me escorted out of the place.
I've only been to a couple strip clubs a couple of times. But here in Tampa strip clubs are full nude and full contact lap dances. Yeah, that's right. If you're ever in Tampa and want to go to a strip club make sure to either hit the world famous Mons Venus or Odyssey 2001 right across the street from Mons.
In the early to mid 80's, the Forum was THE epitome of a strip club. It was like something out of a movie, and it was awesome. Every red-blooded high school kid in London did his damndest to make it into that club, and was a hero if he managed it. Mind you, we also were enthralled by such ground-breaking movies as Porky's.
I've been asked politely as well as aggressively to leave multiple clubs in Houston and physically thrown out of one in Nashville for taking off my clothes and trying to charge the strippers for stripping for them.
My first time ever going to a strip club was the funniest, mostly because of this one insane stripper. I was sitting in between two of my friends, and she crawled over to the one on the right. She took off his glasses, rubbed them against her nipples, and put them back on him. He gave a look of absolute disgust. She then rolled over to my friend on the left and stared into his eyes. She said, "soooo sexy.." and then YANKED HIS FUCKING SHIRT OFF. Like, over his head. He was just too shocked to really react, I guess. She rubbed the shirt all over her sweaty body, then eventually tossed it back to him. I left her a really nice tip because this series of events was so hilarious, and then she crawled back over to my friend and said "let me know if you want me to rape you later." Maybe he just looks like he likes being dominated or something.
The first time I went to a strip club my buddy and I split a dance because we had no money. It was one of those no alcohol joints because the county is gay about having girls show their snizz while guys are drinking, so we all had to pound beers out in the parking lot beforehand. It was ten bucks a piece and we each got a song . She was one of the waitresses that "looked hotter than the stage strippers" but she took her top off and had weird horrible fake tits (weird off set nips with a horrible fake tan). She half assed the dances and her "hot move" was tepidly slapping her pussy. She was also on this mini bar/stripper pole five feet from me the entire time. I've been to Scarlett's in Fort Lauderdale and it was fucking off the hook. Full nude, full contact, and lots of alcohol. I like how they get a train of girls to parade around the club every 15 minutes or so and you just pick your choice from the lineup. That's a cool strip club.
Every strip club I have ever been in they give you the dance actually on your lap. What you are describing is what you get for a dollar when the girls are on stage. That sounds like the shitiest strip club ever. I went with a spanish co-worker to a Spanish (Mexican?) strip club in Stamford, CT. What you could do in this place would get you beaten in a normal strip club. Slap their asses, grab their tits, hold a dollar out and the girls would grind on your hand. I didn't get a lap dance but I am pretty sure it came with a blow-job (really).
I've been to three different strip clubs only a handful of times. Now, I refuse to go to any club aside from The Harem in New Jersey. Out of the few I have been to, this was far and away the best. Girls get fully naked and if you offer a dollar they will come up to you, squeeze their tits around your hand and then slowly pull away taking the dollar with them. Dances are 20 bucks but everything is negotiable. They are supposed to last the length of one song on the audio system, but I convinced a stripper to give me and a female friend a joint dance for the same price and it ended up lasting at least 15-20 minutes. The majority of girls there are very hot and the club also has some pretty famous porn stars come by. The best part: The place is fucking BYOB. No need to piss away money on garbage drinks. They even give you a bucket with ice to keep your beer cold. I'm pretty sure the place is run by the mob.
Here's a heartwarming one: Growing up, me and my father had a bad relationship. I was that asshole kid that was getting in trouble every weekend, kicked out of multiple schools, jailed numerous times before I was 18, moreover, just a general jerkoff. I also had that usual trait that most teenage boys had, they thought they were smarter at the rough age of 15 than there father who at the time was forty or so. What a fucknut. Combine all of this with a Father that was a horrible communicator, and not just that, but would never really talk to you unless he was pissed. So we didn't get along. To say the least. Cue one night when I was 16 or so and me and the buddies decided to go to one of the local strip clubs. It wasn't unusual to get into this shithole when you were underage, hell, it was more unlikely to get turned away at the door. So we're all front and center at the strip club oohhing and ahhing titties for a couple hours not noticing anything or anyone around us other than the strippers..... When all of a sudden I look across the room and who's front and center at the backup stage with a buddy? The old man. Ida probably ran out of there fast, but he noticed me too. We were both kinda drunk, (and high on stripper glitter and warm Miller High Life), but it was one of the first bonding moments between me and pops that I can remember. And it happened at a dive strip club. We still laugh about it to this day. I can still remember what he told me too: "Lets not tell your mother about this one" Another one: Same strip, around the same age,,,,, but it was a Wednesday night. Which anyone who has ever been to this particular joint knows (I cannot believe that I can't remember the name of this place!) it was fucking Amateur night. Or as we called it "Rung what you Brung" because most of the girls who got up on stage looked like beat up Chevy Nova's that certainly had their door slammed too many times. I was there with a couple of buddies and to be honest, it started off pretty slow. Your usual ugly strippers with stretch marks and cross eyes. But we were under 21, which meant that not only did we get to see full nudity, but that we could illegally drink without being persecuted. And we drank like Irishmen on a foggy fucking evening. Now keep in mind kiddies, this was back in the early nineties. Before it was en-vogue for chicks to go to strip clubs. Nowadays you always see some girls at strip clubs. Back then. Never. But not in this joint on Amateur night. On Amateur night there was always a couple chicks in the audience, which always meant that they were at least thinking about getting naked. Which for some reason was hotter than seeing strippers get naked. So its me and my two buddies at our usual position, front and center, ready to throw dolla dolla bills at some whewers. And through the course of about an hour or so, there is a boyfriend and girlfriend sitting at a table one row back from the stage not far from us, and we can hear their conversation in which he is mentally beating the shit out of this girl trying to get her to go onstage and ply her wares. Nonstop for over an hour. "C'mon baby, you look so good naked", "Sweetie,,,, we talked about this, you have nothing to be ashamed about", "I love you so much, and you said you were going to do this for me", and on and on and on. Her responses were un-apologetically "NO" in the beginning, to slowing changing her mind as the verbal and mental hour long assault wore her down. So finally she has been broken down by this piece of shit dude, and they both go talk to someone at the bar, and a few minutes later she takes the stage..... And, to be honest she kinda sucked. At first. She's still got her lacy bra and panties on, she's fumbling through a song, and you can tell she's embarrassed. But then something amazing starts to happen. She starts to get better and better, and in tune, the crowd starts to get into it more and more hooting and hollering and throwing more money making her more confident. You can see it in her movements, and she's stopped blushing. She's gone from doing a horrible rendition of me slow dancing with myself at a 6th grade sock hop, to gyrating around the stripper pole like she owned it. This girl is getting off on getting the angry mob off. She is winning the crowd. And she knows it. But as all this is going down her boyfriend is getting less and less excited. Me and my two buddies see all of this,,,,, and of go nuts by showering her with 1's and 5's.... Which gets her even hotter, and makes him get even more pissed. At this point, she's completely naked, on her knees, face down on the stage pulling her ass cheeks apart, showing her fuck hole to entire place. The crowd is in love with her, she's easily got c-note laying on the stage, and her boyfriend at this point has gone from standing up and clapping when she started, to sitting in his chair with his arms folded across his chest, to yelling at the crowd to stop telling her that they want to eat her pussy and fuck her three ways from the weekend, to now shouting at his girlfriend onstage telling her to get her fucking ass off that goddamn stage and put her clothes back on. IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME. And keep in mind, I'm not talking about seeing this chicks unmentionables. I'm talking about how funny it was to watch this idiot flip out. We just kept pouring it on, and since she had worked the crowd into such a lather, they just kept on playing music, and we just kept on throwing her money....Partially to see what she would actually do onstage, but mainly just to see watch this moron flip the fuck out. It was the best 50 or so bucks I've ever spent. Finally,, after about 6 or 7 songs, and after he had tried to storm the stage but was rebuffed by not only bouncers and patrons alike, he gave her his last salvo of choice words which were probably something like "I hate you, you fucking whore", and stormed out the door. That was one both one of the funniest things I have seen to this day, and also the greatest up-commance I have ever seen served. A couple more that I don't have time for: The one time where I paid two strippers in Kings Cross Aussy to blow me. I repeat. Two Strippers. One blowjob. What a fucking moron. The one time where I was in line to get into the Spearmint Rhino in Vegas with a Custie, and had told him that I rarely, hardly ever, go to titty clubs, and the bouncer grabbing me out of the line, by name, and asking me why the fuck was I waiting in line? I was a gold member, I don't have to wait in a fucking line. The one time where at my going away party from work, I got my secretary to into the champagne room with me and watch her have lesbian sex with her stripper of choice. That was pretty hot. (there is also a pretty good sub-story to this one. I almost got her and her older sister pregnant within a month of each other. That woulda been uncool. Two kids, who would be siblings, and cousins of each other, with me being both their father and uncle simultaneously, and the sisters being both Aunt's to their kid's siblings/cousins) The one time we took a buddy of mine who was having massive girl problems for his birthday. He got pulled onstage and stripped down to his skivvies, and all of us, including the strippers, laughing our fucking asses off because he had a long brown skid mark on his tighty whities.
My first foray into strip clubs was the best night ever. It was one of my friend's 21st birthday, and this kid might be the greasiest, most hilarious Neanderthal-esque I've ever met. This is him the second he had turned 21, shotgunning a beer in a Chuck E Cheese parking lot. None of us have any idea who took that picture, or who he was with when that happened, so we made that to commemorate the moment. Awesome. Anyway, so we get this huge group together to go to this shitty stripclub because Donny + stripclub will probably = great fun. Only problem is, I'm not 21 at the time. Everyone else is, so somehow I sneak into this tiny ass strip club. I still have no idea how I did it, but it was great. So we all sit down, and we watch Donny go up to the stage and oggle the girls. We were all expecting him to start grabbing the girls tits and everything and get everyone kicked out, but surprisingly he was rather tame. We decide because it's his birthday we need to get him a dance, so I go over to talk to the guy who seems to be running the place as the strippers were all preoccupied with sad saps giving away their money. Turns out it's less expensive to actually have him get up on stage with two strippers for a song, so we all pitch in some money and get him up there. The guy asked what song it should be, so I chose the most appropriate of songs, that being Tom Sawyer by Rush. Rush makes everything funnier. So he gets called up to the stage, and the strippers put him in a chair and start dancing all over him. They then have him get on all 4s and then turn to all of us, who were around the stage, and ask for a belt. Being that my belt was easily accessible, I whip it off and hand it to them. Of course they start beating his ass with it, which might have been one of the funniest things I've ever seen. The song ends and they finish up, but Donny still hangs right around the stage watching the girls. We're all a bit further back, so we can't hear what he's saying, but he keeps yelling something to whoever was on stage. So this girl gets on stage and for whatever reason, isn't taking her shirt off. We see Donny yell again, and assume he's telling her to take her shirt off, to which she rubs her fingers together, askin' for mo' money. At this point we're all starting to get a little bored, so we grab him and leave. We ask him about the stripper who wouldn't take her shirt off and he looks at us confused as says, "Take her shirt off? I wasn't asking her to do that, I wanted to see her do stunts. I'm pretty disappointed at the level of stunts these girls did." We all just broke down laughing. So to recap: Snuck into a strip club, watched my friend on all fours get whipped with my belt to the tune of Tom Sawyer, and in the end had him be disappointed because of the lack of cool stunts from the girls. Totally worth however much money I dropped on him.
The first time I ever went to a strip club, it was a place called the T&A Cabaret in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. I got up to piss, and right as I was finishing, I was yanked out of the stall by a bouncer and thrown out. I had gone into the "ladies" room by accident.
On my 22nd birthday, my friends and I went to the local strip club, nothing fancy, but full nude and quality girls. Well I'm just starting to get a lap dance when all of a sudden the guy a few chairs down starts shaking. The stripper giving him a dance freaks out, naturally, as these guy is convulsing. My girl is surprisingly calm and continues the dance, but then the guy keels over. People are screaming for 911. Finally a bouncer comes over and ushers everyone out of the entire club. My friends and I wait outside for a while as the paramedics rush into the strip club. About ten minutes later the guy comes out on a stretcher, dead as can be. I haven't been back to a strip club since. But the silver lining in the story is I got about two minutes of a lap dance for free. So, that happened.
My first time at a strip club was in a place called The Red Garter. It was in Brisbane's, Fortitude Valley district....notorious for prostitution and illegal activity. It was a buddies stag party, and there was probably 10 of us. I got hustled by this stripper, and I never even saw it coming. I guess when you're 18 you have naivety in spades. I got pretty hammered fairly early on, which must have cost me a fortune in hindsight, since strip club beers are always brutally expensive. It was at that point where I was doing the drunk guy walk around the stage, trying to get the best view of the dancing stripper's pussy. At some point, I bumped into one of the other strippers workign the crowd, and she does the usual rub herself all over me, offering me a private dance. She was pretty hot, so I decided what the hell, let's go for it. She told me it would be $50, so I gave it to her, and she leads me out the back. She tells me to, "go through that door and make yourself comfortable, and i'll be right in". So I wander through the door - into the back alley. So I naturally assume she must have just pointed to the wrong door, until I realize it doesn't open from the outside, and I just got fucked. I staggered around to the front to try to get back in, but the bouncer told me I was too drunk, and I couldn't come in. I told him what happened, and he and the other guy started pissing themselves laughing, and just said to each other "Crystal". I knew the others weren't coming out any time soon, so I ended up just going home. I guess stupidity has its price.
Golden Rule Of Strip Club: "Never believe that she is into you." She is an Imagineer. There strictly for your entertainment, and she probably won't leave with you unless it's the type of case where when you sneeze money comes out of your eyes. Naive young dudes can get their entire paycheque handed over in one night by some girl with bolt-ons and a pierced navel who keeps whispering wettly in his ear about how cute is.... "HERESSOME MONEY!!! GIMMIE MORE!!!!!"
I fucked around with a stripper for a few months. For one of my friends bachelor parties we took him to Joy of Austin. Mind you Joy has a good amount of college girls working there. So we arrive and get our setup going in the VIP section, unlike most of my friends I'm fairly sober at this point. I spy with my little eye this smoking hot half Venezuelan tight body. She ended up hanging out with me for most of the night, I spent about a hundred bucks on dances but got at least twice that out of her. Oh yeah, and her real phone number. So yeah I ended up fucking her for a few months, took her to dinner a couple times, and went tubing down in San Marcos with her and her stripper friends (lots of fun). Best part about dating a stripper? They come home horny. So, yes you can fuck a stripper, just find one that hasn't gone into total money-grubbing whore mode yet, and more importantly don't be an asshole about her job.
This guy won't be seeing any strippers for a while. Or maybe he is playing with loads of boobies now. Who knows. And yes, he owned and ran a nationwide chain of strip clubs. He also owned some cool cars, including a Pagani Zonda. R.I.P. Lolly. EDIT: I've never been to a strip club. I'm too poor to waste money on women when I can barely afford booze. Priorities, right?