This is what time you come home when you're dating a girl that holds liquor like a 10 year old. She is puking in the bathroom right now. I tried to feel bad but I really couldn't muster any emotions. Maybe next St. Paddy's day some TiB members will be around.
I don't know what's going on. My fat buddy is a good dude. Ridiculously good. He invites a chick out and she hangs on him all night, practically cooing in his ear. Keep in mind he is a solid, funny dude, just like 400lbs. She starts getting tipsy, bumping into me, bumping into our other friend. Like BUMPING, and grinding, rubbing. I spent an hour trying to talk this dude up, but she was having none of it. She will never feel like that for him. Just makes me fucking sad. Worst part is I think our other friend hooked up with her after I left. Bright side: $2 YUENGLING wooooooooooooooo tittities.
It puts the snarl on the face. Happy St. Paddys day. While mediocre in funness[?], it was great in the booze I consumed.
Does anyone else ever wake up in the middle of the night after drinking? Not necessarily hung over, just randomly waking up. I woke up at 2 AM for no reason and watched a Get-Rich-Quick infomercial for almost 2 hours before being able to fall back asleep. Today I'm a zombie and overslept last my alarm by 25 minutes. It happened to my roommate too, except he didn't come out of his room to watch TV, he just laid there, probably furiously beating off to Facebook pictures or whatever he does in there. The time change from last week made this week pretty tough. Hopefully today goes by quickly.
I have never thought of my vagina as an alternative storing compartment for anything besides a tampon. I am impressed.
If I had a vagina I'd be putting all sorts of shit inside it. Why? Because I'd have a vagina. "What's that? You need a place to put your loose change, your extra business cards? Put it in my vagina!" For real, everything is going in there. Everything is going inside my vagina. Whatever you have, put it in my new vagina and we'll see what fits. Except your cock. Because I wouldn't be a whore just because I suddenly had an awesome vagina type place I liked to stretch out. But you could finger it, that's cool. I'm not sure I'd be down with fisting. If the vagina was a 24 hour genie in the bottle deal, maybe we'd fist just because. Come to think of it, does anyone actually fist? Is that what the kids are doing these days? I remember when anal was a big deal now everyone does that for breakfast. Yeah, I'm still drunk.
Our company's doing a bake-sale fundraiser for the Red Cross.... Cookies. Brownies. Cakes, cupcakes, biscotti... Holy crap there's so much food here. Anyone in the GTA want a brownie??
7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend Friday, Friday Gettin’ down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Fun, fun, fun, fun Lookin’ forward to the weekend
Nah, Law School is for suckers. The big money is in start-up websites. My friend, Ten-Year-Late Tony gave me the tip.
It's like a bulldog's face took HGH. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1366692/Thug-raped-virgin-town-centre-pavement-passing-drivers-ignored-struggles.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... ggles.html</a>
Seems like hiding drugs in your vagina is the new hip thing to do. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.kltv.com/Global/story.asp?S=14270072" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.kltv.com/Global/story.asp?S=14270072</a>