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St. John The Baptist (QUE) Drunk Thread! 6/22/12

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Jun 22, 2012.

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  1. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    You know, I never pay attention to shit. I don't know what's going on half to time I'm doing things. And I always feel bad when I close a drunk thread on a random Monday morning, only to find out that it was some kind of Canadian holiday that I don't have any clue about. I mean, how in the hell am I supposed to know about "God Save The Beaver Day" or whatever the hell else yall celebrate.

    Hell, even the Japanese don't really know what the heck yall are all about most of the time, and they know EVERYTHING:

    [​IMG]

    But not today! Today I looked at a calendar for the first time in probably 6 years! I'm on the friggin' ball!

    So this one is for you Quebecians! Quebeckies. Quebtians...

    ... People who are from Quebec.
     
  2. MoreCowbell

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    Re: St. John The Baptist Drunk Thread! 6/22/12

    Guys, I know "Cosmo sex tips are terrible" is an old hat, but goddammit this needs to be read.

    Yes, clearly that is the mistake here.

     
  3. CharlesJohnson

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    Re: St. John The Baptist Drunk Thread! 6/22/12

    The mental image of this is awesome. Kill the dick flavor with chutney. If your shit tastes that bad, other problems are more pressing.

    Just like tug of war with your dog. Except with my junk. Perfect.

    HAHAHAHA WAT? "Hey, honey, you know how you love bugs on you? Wait until you see what *I* done learned today." Replace "butterfly" with "cockroach." Same sensation.

    The worst part is there is legitimate tips (HAAA) hidden in the melange of unforgivable stupidity. I love mixed messages. It truly is a woman's magazine.

    Edit:

    [​IMG]
     
  4. JWags

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    My reaction to pretty much every set of Cosmo sex tips I've ever read...

    [​IMG]
     
  5. Popped Cherries

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    Are we really giving half a million dollars to old ladies who get heckled by 12 year old kids?
    Is this what happens nowadays?
     
  6. Kubla Kahn

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    I read those list sometimes and think of the last parole hearing scene in Shawshank.


    It just feels like complete made up bullshit so that writers can say they write for such and such magazine and have a job. It is no wonder the magazine industry has tanked.
     
  7. Flat_Rate

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    I got heckled by a pack of overprotective soccer moms the other day, where the fuck is my cool half million?

    Work is so fucking slow right now, I am tired of working flat rate, been here for 3 hours and only got paid for one.
     
  8. Arctic_Scrap

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    Awww yeah, it's Friday. Know what that means? I'm probably working the weekend.




    Also, the Octomom has a porn video out now. Downloading!
     
    #8 Arctic_Scrap, Jun 22, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  9. CharlesJohnson

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    You know what having a Fatwa placed on you means? You's a straight up BALLER:

    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2163025/Author-Salman-Rushdie-celebrates-65th-birthday-wild-party.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... party.html</a>

    It means you win literary awards, have sex with models and ballerinas, and all the while you look like a goblin.

    [​IMG]

    Too bad his Fatwa was issued because of how criminally boring his books are.
     
  10. FreeCorps

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    See, that just sounds like they want to waste perfectly good ice cream. And that makes me sad.

    Do people normally scream like they do in horror films during sex? Have I been doing it wrong this whole time?
     
  11. Nom Chompsky

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    They do when you're slathering exotic fruits everywhere and twisting their junk like a Bop-it.
     
  12. Nitwit

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    Re: St. John The Baptist Drunk Thread! 6/22/12

    Just once I'd like to hear "Spend an hour or so each day forcing his penis into your throat. At first, this will be uncomfortable, and you may even puke a few times; but with patience, persistence, and an unrelenting desire to succeed you will overcome your gag reflex and become special in a way that very few woman are.

    Here is an old 80's music.



     
    #12 Nitwit, Jun 22, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  13. Chellie

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    Quebecois. But no one gives a fuck, we just call them Frenchie Assholes.

    I have a first date with an intimidatingly hot man tonight. I'm probably going to get sloppy drunk while almost chugging my drink due to nervousness. I figure as long as I don't throw up on him I'm good!
     
  14. Nom Chompsky

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    Re: St. John The Baptist Drunk Thread! 6/22/12

    I know I'm about to blaspheme here, but I think deepthroating is kinda overrated. It's definitely an impressive skill, and it can help for sure, but I wouldn't say that a good bj is determined by how much of your cock she can cram down her throat.
     
  15. Parker

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    Its my birthday is on Sunday, but starts tonight at 9pm. I'm going to regret this on Sunday morning. Starts with an open bar, then followed by another bar, combined with I don't fucking know what will happen. Saturday it continues with a house party thrown by this major douchebag and his roommates, but it still will be a good time, and he's in a prime spot to launch out to a bunch of other bars.

    Happy Motherfucking Friday everyone!
     
  16. Chellie

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    If she pukes on it, you really want her to try again?
     
  17. katokoch

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    You said it best!
     
  18. MoreCowbell

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    I believe the answer you're looking for is "It means you have a lot of money." Because Salman Rushdie is not that charming.
     
  19. Winterbike

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    Hourra c'est la St-Jean!*

    Un peu de bonnes chansons en français!


    Les Colocs! Avec des sous-titres!


    Et une chanson plus triste:


    *Yep, it's ''Québécois'' ladies and gents. I don't mind the hate, my sexy GSP accent gets all the ladies anyway.
     
    #19 Winterbike, Jun 22, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  20. Jimmy James

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    French, huh?
     

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