Don't take it personally if you can't bring a girl to orgasm right away. It takes practice and sometimes it's just a matter of the girl getting more comfortable with you/getting over a mental block. What you're doing (most likely) feels good and we appreciate the effort. Having an orgasm during sex/foreplay is never the goal for me; I get a lot of pleasure from both sans orgasm and I know it's just not realistic for me to expect it to happen every time. There's no guaranteed tricks for every girl, but as PIMPTRESS mentioned if you can stimulate multiple areas of her body at once (nipples, clit, g-spot), that's definitely going to get you a lot closer to an orgasm. If you're someone who's really insistent on making sure your partner is satisfied every time, I'd suggest toys - either use them on her yourself or watch her do it herself.
And, for God's sake, don't be shy about talking about sex with your partner. It sounds like a no-brainer, but from my experience and some of my girlfriends', it isn't that uncommon. I dated a guy who only wanted to have sex in one position. Missionary. It's not like I was looking for the kinkiest, freakiest sex ever. I just wanted to mix it up a little. Try something wild and crazy like girl on top or, gasp, doggie. After trying to change positions a few times during sex...and he wasn't taking my hints...I brought it up. "So what positions do you like? I really love it when blah, blah, blah," and he shut down. He wasn't okay with basic communication. I tried a few more times to bring it up, but he made it clear that he didn't want to talk about sex. It was a huge turn-off to me, and I think it was indicative of some underlying insecurities. Bottom line: if you don't like something she's doing, gently guide her or mention something that you really love. Everyone's so different; it's not like you're expected to know your partner's idiosyncrasies just by looking at them.
Whoa, whoa, the men are the one that brought up the statistics of foreplay. They wanted to hear what we had to say about it.
To be fair, we brought it up because it raises eyebrows when people say that they regularly have 90-minute sex sessions. Not calling bullshit, per se, but it was just sort of a "Wait, what?" kinda claim.
I've joked several times to my boyfriend that I think my nipples are hard wired to my clit because I can cum from nipple stimulation alone - whether it comes from having them sucked, licked or gently tweaked - I can cum with that alone with no direct contact with my clit. Then when you add penetration along with the aforementioned nipple activity, I have the most intense, hot as fuck orgasms... and I'm one of the lucky ones who is multi-orgrasmic. No, I can't have 100 in an hour, but the 3 - 4 that I can have in one session are so insanely intense that they satisfy me beyond what I could ever want or need.
I don't think I have ever met a guy that could have straight intercourse for 90 minutes. I don't think porn stars can even last that long. He would have to be on some kind of meds. I heard that if a guy fucks long enough his dick almost goes numb. Is this true? Can we have some more elaboration on this? Is this including switching positions? Or is this straight up intercouse in one position?
While I can't say I've fucked for 90 minutes, I have fucked to the point of numbness. Thanks, whiskey. You're both wonderful and an asshole at the same time.
Out of curiosity, what are we considering foreplay here? Are we talking kissing/massaging/caressing, or is oral included in this too? Because if giving head is considered part of foreplay, 20 minutes isn't that much at all. I guess this board is just way more penetration-heavy than I am? Maybe I am a lesbian. That would explain the menstruation.
If it takes 20 minutes from a guy to cum from oral, the girl ain't doing something right, just saying.
That was me and it's not bullshit. The guy is the exception, not the rule. He's a damn machine - he stays hard after orgasm and keeps going. Some of that time is foreplay and some of it is slow and relaxed, it's far from hardcore pounding for that long. I find that incredibly frustrating. It's less satisfying for me if he hasn't gotten off and I have... if it's not going to happen, let me know and I'll stop. Mine too. Specifically the right one (I think piercing the left one fucked it up) and sometimes not so gentle is better.
Sometimes it's fun to see how fast you can go from conversation to cumming. Sometimes it's nice to kiss for a few minutes. Maybe a massage. Some nipple play. Leisurely cunnilingus, people. It's not a race. If you have all night, why rush to the penetration? If you go right for the clit, obviously twenty minutes is too long. But I'm all about build-up, and I love the silent full-body pleading of a girl that wishes you would just let her cum already. I'm kind of an asshole though, so your mileage might vary.
If the person didn't like oral, then I wouldn't give them oral. There's still manual, massaging and a whole host of other things that aren't penetration. If a girl really just wanted me to stick it in her, well then I would, but I probably wouldn't be the ideal sex partner for her because there ain't no way I'm lasting 90 minutes. Or 60. Or, let's be honest, even 30.
There's such a thing as not being sexually compatible. If a girl just wants a guy to throw her over his shoulder then pound her into submission, she probably shouldn't call me? Or if a girl wants marathon penetration sessions, I'm just not that guy, and we probably shouldn't fuck too many times.
Is this some genre of rocket science I'm not familiar with? Seems to me that you kind of talk to each other, tell each other what you like/don't like, pay attention to how they're responding, and adjust your actions accordingly.
Not at all. He is the one that said he likes to draw things out, and doesn't want to just jump to penetration...