For years, I've been very comforted that my mom's Montana tribe of wing-bats, hill-people and awful monsters masquerading as human beings don't give a fuck for me. She has some sane family, but they're all the way in Wisconsin, and I haven't seen them in nearly half a decade. For the most part, I could give a fuck less if they all died tomorrow. As for my father's side of the bloodline, you've got a much more stable foundation, but also a lot of... let's call it 'white trash with money and the ability to pretend to be normal, really, really well.' Example, my paternal aunt, the youngest in her family is married to an uncle who I recently heard that either he or his father impregnated his sister. I mean, shit. Also, my other paternal aunt, a gigantic heifer of a woman, has her eldest son, the worst of their immediate family, in prison for the crime of molesting a minor, and the evidence pointed to him being somehow high on meth, weed, pain-killers and booze, residuals from a four-day bender, and then he groped a twelve year old girl in a public park. I hate him with a fervent passion, and when his cow mother tries to ask people to write him letters or tries to cajole someone onto the phone with him, I want to fucking laugh. We've always traditionally spent the holidays with the father's side, though. Most are not rabid idiots, and other than the two aunts I mentioned, pretty chill and typical holiday parties result.