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Sober Thread: Assume the Position!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DrFrylock, Nov 18, 2010.

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  1. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
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    Super-moderator Maltob14 noted that we haven't had a sober thread in a while, and that this would be a good topic. I agree.

    The place I work is largely populated by curmudgeonly old white dudes. Three guesses what channel the big screen TV in the cafeteria is tuned to like 99% of the time. Anyway, every time I walk by it lately, it's running some story about the new X-ray scanners at the airport and what happens if you refuse such a scan.

    I haven't had to go through one of these. I think the only thing I'd really worry about is the radiation, because radiation is bad. There is an alternative, which is to have somebody grope you. I personally don't mind some $12 an hour wage slave with no upward mobility cupping my junk for a few seconds; the experience is going to be much worse for him or her than it is for me. Besides which, the best revenge is that after they do it, I get on a plane and they still have to work for the TSA.

    Some people get turned off by this, though. It's like what happens if you post an unexpected picture of a cock - some people will just get their nuts all in a knicker about it no matter what. I remember the last time there was hullabaloo about the TSA, some extremely ectomorphic guy posted that he was going to start going through security in an absolutely skin-tight body suit, accompanied by pictures of him wearing said suit. It was not pretty, it was like Venom from Spider-man had attached itself to a guy shaped like a praying mantis with Adam Savage's head. I think that this is the most hilarious form of protest against invasive scanning, and certainly classier than just bitching about it on the news.

    FOCUS: What do you think about the increasingly invasive scanning techniques used on you if you fly these days? Are we just frogs in a slowly heating pot of water? Are we one step away from a Communo-fascist dystopia? Alternatively, do you enjoy getting your junk squeezed? Do you just not care?

    RULES: As with all sober threads, the no-politics rule is suspended, but the no asshole rule still applies.
     
  2. Allord

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  3. zyron

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    I have been to the Meadowlands many times to see the Giants play. I have been patted down and had my junk grabbed to go watch a football game. I really don't care about getting scanned to get on a plane.
     
  4. Viking33

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    I've had so many X-rays, MRI's, CT scans and gropings from sports injuries that getting a little extra radiation at the airport 2-3 times per year is not that big of a deal. Get over it, your cell phone and a pack a day will give you cancer faster than the airport body scanner.
     
  5. Solaris

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    Personally I don't care all that much about this specifically. However I do think there is far too much airport security. They should totally scale it down and if the number of terrorist attacks goes up by more than 200%, bring it back.

    I'm willing to sacrifice a few hundred lives a year in terror attacks if it saves me a couple of hours per flight.
     
  6. iczorro

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    From Penn Teller, about TSA grabbing his crotchal area:

    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.pennandteller.com/03/coolstuff/penniphile/roadpennfederalvip.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.pennandteller.com/03/coolstu ... alvip.html</a>

     
  7. effinshenanigans

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    I think that the biggest problem doesn't lie in the policies themselves, but the people administering them--the hands-on TSA agent.

    There have been a few stories floating around ever since the "don't grab my junk" guy went viral. One is of TSA agents pulling down some woman's shirt, exposing her tits to everyone who could see, and laughing about it to her face for a while afterwards. There's another story about a husband who was placed in an airport jail because he protested the way his wife was inappropriately pat down. Yet another story is about a guy who had a TSA agent reach his hand down the front and back of his pants and fool with his dick and ass. While those stories are horrible and indeed reveal that there is a problem, I have to believe that they are very isolated incidents and that not every TSA agent is a molester who wants to grab my dick or fondle my girlfriend as we go through security. I imagine thousands of people travel everyday who go through airports, experience pat downs, and board the plane with no issue because of agents who do their job appropriately, even if the pat down is a little more thorough.

    If the TSA wants to make travelers feel secure about these new measures, they need to handle those isolated incidents of abuse quickly and harshly. If they shrug it off, then we essentially allow an airport gestapo to exist--one where some agents aren't a problem and others are predators who use a badge to violate people.
     
  8. The Village Idiot

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    Let me see if I have this right, according to you, someone listening to your conversation is more intrusive than touching your genitals? Really?

    I don't know about you, but where I come from a chick will let you listen to her far easier than she'll let you touch her genitals. Ask me, I've tried.

    Oh, and this policy sucks ass by the way. Once again, we trade the illusion of security for our rights. Like all trades of this nature, we lose. And deservedly so.
     
  9. The Village Idiot

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    Yes, not the entire thing, but several portions of it.

    Several portions, as it is a fairly extensive act.

    I assure you, I do.

    What this has to do with anything is beyond my meager and untrained capabilities. The question wasn't about the Patriot Act, which I happen to abhor, but about the policy of the TSA engaging in more in depth searches of passengers on planes. Stay on point, counselor.

    I'm sure you've heard that before.
     
  10. Noland

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    To me it makes a certain kind of sense. Look at it this way. One guy in the history of flight tries to smuggle a bomb in his shoe, so now we all have to take off our shoes. Another guy does whatever he did with that liquid explosive so now you can't bring toothpaste on the plane.

    This, at least, is vaguely proactive rather than reactive.

    Mrs. Noland and I went through one not long ago. I was completely unaware we were going to have to and it didn't particularly bother me. But it takes a while to get yourself properly lined up and, once the scan is finished, you have to wait a minute or so for the picture to appear wherever it appears and for them to tell you it's okay to go. We were in Fort Wayne, Indiana when we went through. Not a bustling metropolis, I assure you.

    It's going to be a nightmare when they install these things at Hartsfield or O'Hare or Kennedy.
     
  11. Rush-O-Matic

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    Yeah, I don't know the ins and outs of the Patriot Act. But, I think these two things are completely different in my own personal uninformed opinion. I don't do things that are illegal, so if the gubmint listens in on all my phone calls, I might be a bit embarrassed, but if they don't find anything, I would never know they listened in. At the airport, though, I know that a real person, that I can see, is touching me or giggling at my xray. I'm sure I'm not educated enough to understand the difference, so this is just me: but if I have no idea that somebody was listening in, I'm not bothered. If I'm standing there having it happen, it seems humiliating.

    Maybe also it's because I understand that the intention of the Patriot Act (I'm not arguing whether or not it's used correctly) is to intercept information between people plotting to do harm. And, I haven't heard a better alternative. What is the intention of the scatter devices and pat downs? Because, I think that a better alternative is metal detectors and bomb-sniffing dogs that could do the same thing just as effectively. (Did you SEE that episode of Myth Busters? Those dogs can find anything!)
     
  12. Nick

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    For ease of access, I wear these everytime I fly.

     

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  13. Maltob14

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    Just to throw it out there to fuel the discussion: On one hand there is a good chance that the new machines would not have been able to detect the explosives used in the December 2009 attacks. On the other hand, the machines emit roughly the same amount of radiation as 3 minutes of high-altitude flight time. The source is a CNN report / interview which I'm having trouble finding right now. If anyone can find it, that would be great.
     
  14. JProctor

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    I did a Google image search for "cute (hot/attractive) TSA employee" to determine if there was such a thing or if Ballsack was having pretend time again. You'll never guess the result.

    On focus, I've come up with and so named the "99% theory" of security. 99% of the people who are put out by security measures would not have caused any harm without the measure in place. Moreover, 99% of the people who intend to cause harm are able to evade any preventative security measure that would be tolerable in the United States. This leads to a few questions:

    1) What do all but the most extreme security measures protect us from?
    2) Are we willing to accept the costs of those extreme measures in terms of time, money and dignity? If not, why bother with halfhearted attempts?
     
  15. jrussellmikkelsen

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    You are the joke. And we are all rolling with it.

    Pilots are complaining. Is that a frequent enough flier for you?
     
  16. Primer

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    THIS THREAD IS SERIOUS BUSINESS! WE'RE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE SOBER AND SHIT AND THAT MEANS THAT I NEED TO BE SERIOUS. FUCK YOU, MAN.

    Focus: I don't mind getting my balls touched. It's not like I'm the guy who's squatting down, five hundred times a day, ruining my knees, so I can run the back of my hand across the nuts of some fat, sweaty, lard ass. Jokes on those TSA agents, I'm not going to bathe for a week before my next flight and maybe I'll go for a jog right before I get into security. Also, I'm sure there's enough pictures of me naked already, so, what's one more?

    My only concern is where do we draw the line? Is the next step to make an anal intrusion with a stethoscope to make sure John McFuck doesn't have his ass packed with C4? If it comes to that, I'll just drive or take a boat.
     
  17. Jimmy James

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    1. Nothing. If watching Lockdown has taught me anything, it's that people are fucking resourceful. If a terrorist really wants to hurt innocent people, they will. All of this is just a cruel magic trick to make people think they're safe when they aren't.

    2. I'm not. And we shouldn't.
     
  18. Bourbondownthehouse

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    I really only fly out of a couple of airports with any regularity, but I can tell you one thing I've seen across the board. The job "TSA Agent" appears to be a fucking make work job designed to pull people directly off welfare or disability. Body scans aside, I don't really feel all that comfortable with the half retards administering these procedures. Take a close look at your friendly TSA agent next time you go to the airport. They're either failed cops, or walking (bad) stereotypes of black men and (especially) women. This does not apply to the Ft. Myers airport in Florida where they are all at least 70.
     
  19. bewildered

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    These measures aren't really effective. How many real threats have they uncovered with the body scanner and the groping (and by real threats, I don't mean that tube of toothpaste that was 0.5oz over their arbitrary limit)? These new search methods respond retroactively to yesterday's threat.

    I think the biggest security issues have been faced in this post 911 world. One, the cabins are now sealed with a bullet proof door, and two, the passengers on any flight would jump on anyone making a threat so fast their head would spin.

    I do believe that these measure are far too invasive. I hear people all the time saying that flying is a privilege, and you could argue this, but who ever said that your rights are suspended to partake in a privilege? Isn't that the whole point of a right, that it is something that cannot legally be violated (Obviously there are a few exceptions, like those who commit crimes and are placed in jail)? I do not want to be touched like this or seen like that by a stranger. Bomb sniffing dogs would be much more effective. I just hope they remember the KY when some asshole decides to smuggle a bomb in their anus. If they want real security, they should contract out to the Israelis.
     
  20. whathasbeenseen

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    I found the following article on how the Israelis handle security to be interesting. But I think most TSA agents would be too fucking stupid to handle this:

    http://motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2010/11/israelification

    There is not such thing as airport security. As has been said, if they want to, they will and they'll figure out how.

    I was in an airport in Kansas City. Best thing about this airport is fast in fast out pretty much no matter what. Shitty thing is that you are in Kansas City. Anyway, well post 9/11 some redneck guy is in front of me and turns to me and the following conversation takes place:

    "Oh shit"
    'What man?'
    "Aw man. You ain't gon believe this but Ah wen huntin and Ah fugawt that mah knife is in mah baag"
    'How big a knife we talkin?'
    He gestures something akin to 3/4 the size of my forearm
    "Fuck it mayun. Ima just see if Ah can get it through"

    He proceeds to place his bag on the fucking x-ray, see inside your bag, know what the fuck you got machine. Aaaaand they wave his country ass through. No extra search. No conversation. Nothing.

    And thats when I knew that all of this is bullshit and inconvenience for me with no reciprocal added safety for my travels.
     
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