You find yourself caddying at a golf course. One day, you end up caddying for the Dalai Lama himself. And at the end of the round he looks like he's going to stiff you, so you're like "Hey, Lama, how about a little something...you know, for the effort?" And he says "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." And you're all "well, I caddied for L. Ron Hubbard last week and I got that from him, so, uh, what else ya got?" And he says, "Fuckin' Hubbard. OK, fine, I will offer you a choice. When you wake up tomorrow, one of two things will happen:" 1. A doctor you have never met will announce a total cure for Progeria. 2. A dead relative or acquaintance of your choosing from your past will knock on your front door, having just woken from a long coma. His or her death, it seems, was all a big mix-up. He or she will live a long and happy life. "Neither one will be credited to you, and nobody will ever know we had this conversation or that you didn't pick the other option." "Choose wisely!" FOCUS: What's your pick, caddie? RULES: Vote in the poll, but post your reasoning as well please.
I'm lucky in that nobody close to me has died yet, so yeah, I'm curing progeria (as long as it gets renamed to "Morbo's Syndrome"). Yeah, yeah, easy way out.
People die for no reason but 9/10 live long and ultimately happy lives - and the ones that don't live happy lives wouldn't like living much to begin with. Kids born with birth defects don't get a chance to live like the rest of the world and that is one of the most depressing thoughts I've ever encountered. Birth defects suck. I'd cure progeria, Grandma was old and boring as it was. If my father ever passes before his time, it'd be a tougher choice but still I'd cure progeria. This thread is really random by the way.
I don't know anyone with Progeria. But I also don't know anyone who'd leave me any significant assets in their will. That is a tough choice.
The bolded part makes it a ridiculous no-brainer for me. While I appreciate the creativity, the answers in the poll will be straightforward enough; those that haven't lost a close relative yet will cure progeria, while those that have lost such a person will bring them back.
Oh good, it's not me... I just came in from smoking a joint and this thread made me think I had gone insane. Anyway... I would go with bringing back a relative. 1. If you cured that crazy disease, what if one of the people you saved ended up being the next Hitler? Or what if one invented something that made cancer even worse?? 2. I didn't read through that fetish thread, but I'm sure some people here have a progeria fetish. What would they do with no progerians around? (Try to develop a fetish for the new Ultra Cancer, I suppose.) 3. All that will happen if my Grandpa comes back is the world will get slightly more racist, and I'll get $50 more every year.
Too bad for the progeria kids, I've got friends I'd like to see alive. Joshua Rath would be my choice. http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=32783056 Sorry, it's been one of those nights.
Yeah, this one's easy. My dad died when I was 12, so, my dad obviously. He would absolutely fucking LOVE his grandson. Btw, that was my brother's favorite line from Caddy Shack. He said it all the time whenever something would go wrong. So I got THAT going for me". He's dead too but, he was an asshole, so my dad for sure.
My grandfather, no contest. He was from the South. He realized at about 35 that he was tired of working. So he busted his ass and saved every dime he had that didn't go towards keeping our family together over the next 15 years, bought a property in the middle of nowhere, built a house of his own design and spent the remainder of his life tending a huge garden, raising and slaughtering animals, whittling, fishing, cursing out the Dodgers, drinking, smoking his pipe and cheering the Lakers. He's my goddamned hero. I got the chance to live with him for about 2 years when he moved me and my single parent mom out of South Central Los Angeles for my safety. This fucker also stopped speaking English and went back to speaking Creole. If you didn't like it and couldn't understand him you could go fuck yourself. Not speaking English. I'd slit the throats of a gaggle alien headed cancer patients and the Lama himself after fucking L. Ron in the ass without the courtesy of a reach around if I could have a week to talk to him about his life, write down his stories, get drunk with him and smoke a pipe watching the Lakers kick the shit out of the Celtics. I spent my his last days with him after his leg got amputated and he decided to check out. translated:
I always hated these kinds of questions. Let me get this straight, you want me to choose which relative to resurrect so I can watch them die again? On top of that you want me to be cool with knowing for the past 20 years my father isn't really dead and some farcical clerical error ala Community Chest has kept him hidden in the hospital's basement. Then, THEN, we're to shit all over a kid with a disease none of us can fathom? What the fuck would I even say to my dad? Can you make up 20 years? He spent 40 years smoking like a chimney; it's his fault. I think I'd probably punch him in the mouth. Fuck it. Bring back one of my buddies that wrecked his car drunk. That's a rotten way for a mom to lose a kid. Side note: Why Progeria? That's such a rare, random disease. Only 53 cases worldwide. I think everyone that has it in the world was on an episode of Maury at some point. Cancer or Cystic Fibrosis isn't cool enough.
Well since some of you have already cured Progeria, I'll bring back a friend that was killed in a car wreck.
As so many of you have cured Progeria, I'd kill myself and bring myself back and start a religion. You can all be my minions while I rake in the millions. Bring on the crazy and rich and they will be cured! I'm a selfish dick sometimes. EDIT: I never got to meet two of my grandparents (my dad's parents) and I knew a guy who died 3 WEEKS after finishing high school - he was home alone, went swimming, climbed out of the pool, slipped and cracked his skull open and died. I'd still stick with my original plans.
Progeria was chosen very specifically for this thread and it was deliberate. Also comments about blue dongs and/or Smurfs are on-topic, other mods please do not delete them.
After thinking about this, I am very selfish and like being this way. I don't care about past people who have died in my life. But I do care about living longer. I have too many things left to do. With that being said, I would cure progeria, in hopes that the cure would help in a cure for aging. I hate getting old. The older I get, the older the girls I can date get. It sucks.
My dad died when I was 11 years old so...completely obvious choice. How is this a hard question, even for people who haven't lost a parent or sibling or spouse? If the only loved one of yours who has died is your 99 year old great aunt, consider yourself a truly blessed person. A progeria cure would have the potential to shed light on the aging process and save 50 people a year. 50 people I have never and will never meet. Deciding between that and what most people would give everything they own for doesn't even seem like a valid question.
Why the hell would anyone want to cure Progeria? That shit is awesome! They're little, but they look 60 years old. Hilarious! I mean, look at those pictures - they look like aliens or something. At fifty people a year, I think we should keep that disease just to inspire the occasional TV show. I would pick some random person that I barely knew to resurrect, and see if I could keep tabs on different ways others would be impacted. That'd be cool.