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Smells like dick in here... Gym Shower/Locker room etiquette

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by kuhjäger, Nov 11, 2010.

  1. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
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    Don't fucking go into the sauna and do yoga in there.

    Guys do this at my gym all the fucking time. I want to go in, read a bit, and sweat my balls off. I don't want to see these guys in all sorts of god awful poses with their asshole being touched by their own balls.

    They take up the sauna for 30 minutes, and no one will go in there.
     
  2. Bourbondownthehouse

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    -Numbers face inward when putting plates on a bar.
    -Don't use the squat rack for flat bar curls.
    -Don't ask to work in with people who are using far more weight then you can do.
    -Men shouldn't only wear compression shorts.

    EDIT: My drunk ass has misread the focus. I read gym/locker room. Please delete or make ALT FOCUS.
     
  3. LatinGroove

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    There will be no fucking eye contact whatsoever if you don't have pants on. Ditto for pants-less conversations. I'm very secure in my sexuality, but that's just fucking weird.
     
  4. Viking33

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    Never make eye contact in the shower and NEVER look at a guy's package and then look him in the eyes.

    A friend of mine witnessed a shower beatdown at the YMCA back home last year. A rather large African American individual known as "Jumbo Jim" around the Y was minding his own business and scrubbing down when he turned around and caught a small, wiry fellow checking out his real estate before looking up and catching his eye. Jumbo bounced his face off the towel racks.

    Big no-no.
     
  5. scootah

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    Unless you have a compelling reason for not doing so, put on some fucking pants.

    If you do have a compelling reason to not be wearing at least underpants, make an effort to not put on some kind of obscene show.

    There are perfectly good sauna's for gay men - there's no need to use the gym locker room for that shit.
     
  6. Kubla Kahn

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    A fucking men.


    It's funny you mention putting your foot on the bench when naked. My roommate and I once were changing after working out and he was sitting leaning over to take his shoes off when he turned his head and no less than 6 inches from his face an old man was doing exactly that with his balls hanging out of his jock strap. My roommate shot me a look like he was about to bust out laughing. Not ten seconds later a construction worker bust through the doors sprinting for the toilets while physically holding his asshole and farting. As the worker let loose on the toilet my roommate lost it and barreled out the door geeking the fuck out.

    New rule, just because you are over 60 and play racquet ball does not mean you have the freedom to walk around ass naked in the locker room. You haven't "earned" anything with your old age that doesn't supersede shame. Have you forgotten that NO ONE wants to see old wrinkle man ass/balls? At all. At all.

    I normally do the towel wrapped around my waist clothes change after Im done showering or swimming.
     
  7. PenetrationStation

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    Hahaha. That kind of shit makes me far more uncomfortable than some old guy walking around naked.
     
  8. RCGT

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    I can deal with changing without a towel if no one is staring in my direction. I'm an adult, whatever. But I spend as little time naked as necessary. This is a pretty good rule for most facets of life. Some of us missed that memo.

    One of my friends geeked out once in the locker room. I look over at him and he's practically bawling with laughter. "What the fuck's wrong with you?" He does that hide-your-face-in-your-arm-and-point thing. I glance over, and catch out of the corner of my eye some septagenarian with a shock-white ponytail, just strolling around the shower. I have enough time to register that he is hung like a rhino before my brain pulls the kill-switch. We gathered our things and bailed.
     
  9. Frebis

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    I'm betting we get wahooed by a gay voyerism website over this. Or trolled at the least. It isn't coincidence that the Village People sang about the YMCA so much.
     
  10. BadBrains

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    Agreed. I don't appreciate the old fellas flip-flopping around ass naked, but the insecure kid in the corner just creeps me out. Usually because as he's struggling to put his clothes on while maintaining towel coverage, he's scanning the locker room like he's waiting for someone to pull a knife.

    USMC boot camp really desensitized me to this shit, but the one thing I really can't stand is when the person next to you decides to perform a naked toe-touch to put their fucking socks on. Throw on your shorts and take a seat to do that, homeboy. The rusty sheriff's badge need not be on display.
     
  11. Dr. Gonzo Esquire

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    1) My gym has private shower stalls with curtains and old naked men with no sense of personal space. Two guys are talking right outside my stall, and one guy's ass kept breaching the curtain into my stall. Also, for some reason my gym is packed with old guys who love to sing in the shower. Now I like Sinatra as much as the next guy, but guys need to keep that shit to themselves in a public shower otherwise I'm going to start singing Pearl Jam in there.

    2) Sauna etiquette demands you at least wear a towel.
     
  12. Dcc001

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    Jesus Christ, girls' change rooms are way, way different. I've never been inside one - be it in high school, private gym, YMCA, whatever - that didn't have both private shower stalls and private stalls you could change in. There's always a few girls who don't use them, but I've never seen women just walking around naked and chatting and making everyone else uncomfortable.

    One of the reasons it's sometimes better to be a chick, I guess.
     
  13. Omegaham

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    That's odd - I always thought that females cared far less about nakedness as a whole. Maybe that impression was gotten from doing gymnastics, where the girls basically stripped down to bra + thong in front of everyone and couldn't care less, but I always assumed that girls just didn't give a shit. I guess you learn something every day...

    Focus: If you're naked, and have a good reason for being naked, stay in one spot. No one wants to see the Roving Cock Patrol.

    Most of the other things have already been covered. In summary - the locker room is NOT a social spot, especially when you're naked. Sure, when you're in high school, it might be the spot where you talk about Susie Rottencrotch, but in the real world, adults don't do that shit.
     
  14. lostalldoubt86

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    Yeah, we don't walk around naked. But have you ever had to use a locker room shower after another girl, and she's left her used tampon on the shower drain? Girls have the ability to be so much nastier.
     
  15. Solaris

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    You guys are pussys.

    In my university swimming pool/sauna in Belfast it's completely natural to walk around naked, everyone does it and it's a far more pleasant experience for it, rather than worrying about hiding your junk.
     
  16. Frebis

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    There is a reason you never see chicks walking around anked in the gym. You live in Canada. Do people ever get naked that far North?
     
  17. Dcc001

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    Hey now, it gets HOT inside these igloos - snow is an excellent insulator.
     
  18. Frank

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    Bullshit, women take huge group showers, lather each other up with body wash and occasionally make out in locker rooms. And they're all attractive.

    Cinemax never lies.
     
  19. Misanthropic

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    Particularly if I'm the one who is pantless, I don't know you, and you're hovering around talking to me like you're hoping to catch a glimpse.

    Regarding age, just because I'm older than you doesn't mean I have the answers to shit you should know for yourself. Like this question I was asked one afternoon in the locker room:

    "Excuse me sir, do you think it's ok if I use hand soap on my hair, because I forgot my shampoo?"

    "Sir", no less. Jesus jumping Christ.
     
  20. lhprop1

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    This is why if I go to a public gym, and that's a rarety, that I don't talk to anyone. Not while I'm training, not while I'm changing, nothing. There are some really creepy people who lurk around gyms, and I really don't care to get to know any of them. I'm there to lift as much weight as possible and not to conversate with the 22 year old who goes out of his way to tell me that deadlifting is bad for my back or the creepy 50 year old guy who fits the registered sex offender stereotype to a T and "has a grandson who lifts just as much as you". I'm not trying to be a dick, but I don't care.

    If I get the chance, I'll just wear a pair of sweatpants over my gym shorts and forego stepping foot into the locker room all together. I can wait 10 minutes until I get home to take a shower.