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Skinemax!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DrFrylock, Feb 18, 2011.

  1. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
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    I have AT&T Uverse, which is one of those TV-over-the-Internet services that combines Internet, Phone, and the equivalent of Cable TV. It's somewhat expensive but it's my only vice, and I have the top-tier package, which means I get all the pay channels: HBO, Showtime, Starz, Encore, The Movie Channel...and Cinemax.

    This is the first time I've had those channels. Sometimes there is a movie on I want to watch and so I will put it on in the background. I'm usually up working pretty late, so sometimes Hollywood Homicide will end and I won't be paying attention. And then five minutes later I'll look up from my work and HELLO SOFTCORE PORN!

    I've never really watched this sort of thing before; it's sort of like watching someone else eat ice cream to me. But the other night I just left it on and I learned lots of new things:

    • If you are an attractive woman in your early 30s, the best thing you can do on your Caribbean vacation is impersonate a famous sex therapist who got waylaid.
    • When you do that, "your" patients, an attractive couple in their 20s, will want to bone in front of you while you watch.
    • Then, the guy will come to you and ask him to show you how to improve his technique, so you can have sex with him.
    • Later, the girl will want to learn to improve her technique, and also experiment, and she will want to hook up with you, too.
    • After both of them are feeling better about their sex lives, they will want to have a threesome with you out of gratitude.
    • Finally, the waylaid sex therapist, also an attractive woman in her early 30s, will show up and, feeling repressed, need your services also.

    FOCUS: What have you learned from softcore pay-cable porn?

    ALT FOCUS: Softcore pay-cable porn was probably the first porn that many of you ever saw. Tell stories about how you and your deviant little friends used to go over to your latchkey friend's basement late at night to watch Skinemax.
     
  2. Volo

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    Ambidexterity. I can now jerk off with both hands.

    Skinemax was fun to watch while growing up, no argument there, but my old man had a rather impressive selection of VHS porn that he didn't hide very well. Now those were the skin flicks you watched with your buddies when you're young. Made a lot of great friends for all the wrong reasons.
     
  3. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    My dad started leaving me home alone overnight fairly young, so I have very fond memories of watching Real Sex and that show about the Bunny Ranch. I learned about a whole bunch of fetishes from Real Sex. It was definitely what lead to the discovery that sometimes sex can get real weird. The two that come to mind are the special about all the various forms of latex sex and a clip from a nominee for the porn awards they were covering about balloon popping fetishes. (I love how I can remember this shit but can never remember what I'm going into my room to get once I'm in there.)

    Also, they had a story featuring Jenna Haze filming a porn scene with a girl. I remember rewinding it and watching it over and over and over. That was probably how I learned that I'm that level of gay between being straight and totally bi. Once I got non-dial-up internet and started watching real porn I was so excited to see that Jenna Haze was actually a porn star and not just a random actress in that one scene. She doesn't really do it for me anymore, but whenever I come across her I usually watch just a little bit out of nostalgia.
     
  4. Juice

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    Jenna Haze still rocks my world. I didn't even know she did softcore.

    Focus:

    I learned that every single college girl has bleach blonde hair and a huge rack, but looks 35.

    My favorites are Busty Cops and the Bare Wench Project.
     
  5. tempest

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    We didn't have cable when I was growing up, so I had to rely on other material. Mainly Victoria's Secret catalogs.

    When I was in my 20's, I ordered up some good ol' hotel porn out of curiosity. It had all the drawbacks of porn but none of the penetration. Close up's of some sweaty dudes scowling face? Check. I think I wanted 5 minutes of it before I had to change the channel.

    My first porn experience happened when I was about 11. I was spending the night with what I now realize was my white trash friend. His parents were out for the night so he decided to bust out is dad's VHS collection. I remember watching some movie called "Taboo" (I think). It was all about dad's fucking daughters, mom's and sons, and so on. If I remember correctly it ends with the consumption of a salad dressed with semen. Disturbing to a 11 year old is putting it lightly.
     
  6. MadDocker

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    No cinemax in Australia but i did have older cousins.

    I was four years old when my baby sister was being born.

    While my parents were at the hospital going though childbirth, I was left with my 3 older cousins (8, 12 & 15) who thought it would be a great idea to show me some hardcore porn...

    During my mothers pregnancy I was curious and asked some questions which my parents answered with some watered down birds and the bees.

    Half assed sex talk and hardcore porn mixed into some crazy nightmares for a four year old. Thinking about it now really puts some of my teenage relationships into perspective.
     
  7. jay r n

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  8. Noland

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    FOCUS: What have you learned from softcore pay-cable porn?

    Every sexual situation is fuzzy and loving and tender and sweet and filled with butterflies and honey and not at all infused with hate, pain, anger, and filth.
     
  9. Dmix3

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    That the former Playmate of the Year and Queen of Skinemax who you spent hours pleasuring yourself to has horrible taste in men and will eventually marry a decrepid rock star and have shitty reality show on A&E, damn you Shannon Tweed.
     
  10. Kubla Kahn

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    Focus- The nerd accountant at the bikini carwash will eventually get his from the head women/madam.


    Alt Focus- I have a place in my heart for the old showtime/cinemax B movie skin flicks. Having and older brother and a dad that had a massive hardcore porno meant I was exposed to the real deal at a very young age (elementary school). But I didnt have the balls to sneak around and watch that stuff myself until I was into highschool. But summer times in middle school Id routinely stay up and catch all of the 90's classics. My favorite was of coarse the iconic Shannon Tweed followed by the B team Nikki Fritz. Ive been meaning to get Miss Tweeds magnum opus, Scorned. There is an unrated european version Ive been looking to get. It has everything youd want, naughty teacher boning the student, rough sex bent over a pool table, voyeuristic masturbation scene, drugged up lesbo scene, about every hot fantasy is covered.

    My first successful jack session was watching Beverly Hills Bordello. It was the first time Id ever seen a skin flick/series show girls bush. It was the one where the husband takes his wife to the bordello, she's initially hesitant but ends up diddling herself while watching her husband plow some other chick. I had no clue on what the fuck happened and sat there dizzy like Forest Gump with a huge mess to clean up. That was the day my life changed forever. It was a pretty hot series and my favorite was one where Nikki Fritz finds out her long time client wants to switch to a younger chick. She's got awesome fake boobs.

    By the time I hit college the big thing was filming hardcore pornos with softcore scenes for Cinemax. I knew something was up when every other film featured Nicole Sheridan and Even Stone. I actually remember seeing a Hot Springs Hotel episode that they flubbed covering the sheets over the guys schlong and it was in the bottom of the frame like a missed boom mic.


    To kick you while youre down, he refuses to marry her at all cost.
     
  11. Sherwood

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    Skinemax softcore was the best growing up. If it taught me one thing, it taught me this:

    Lesbians have sex by sitting together in a bed and slowly rocking back and forth until they both cum. At the same time. Every time. Also they don't usually kiss. Or touch each other's genitals.

    And I know I can't be the only one here whose childhood was ruined by Sex Bytes. I must have been 12 or 13 watching late at night with the sound turned way down so nobody would hear it. This vignette starts out being completely amazing with two girls sitting in a bathtub making out. It's absolutely amazing until they stand up and have... dicks. WHAT? WAS I JUST, THOSE ARE, OH MY GOD, I WAS WATCHING DUDES!!!

    It was months before I could bring myself to watch porn again.
     
  12. Crown Royal

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    As a teenager, I learned that fridays after eleven on the Showcase Network with nothing but subtitles and totally awesome nudity.

    Nowadays, they show hardcore porn on my regular Movie Network as early as eleven. If I was a teenager nowadays, I'd have tennis elbow without even owning a racket.
     
  13. Aristotle

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    'The Bare Wench Project' has been listed as one of my favorite movies since the day I got Facebook.

    FOCUS: Women immediately begin to build up an orgasm only seconds after insertion.
     
  14. Rush-O-Matic

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    FOCUS: What have you learned from softcore pay-cable porn?

    Emmanuelle has lots of female friends who want to get naked with her.


    Footnote: I went to IMDB to see when the original Emmanuelle movie came out. (It was 1974.) Stats - Budget: $500,000; Worldwide Gross: $100,000,000. Holy shit.
     
  15. Trakiel

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    This thread is right up my alley. I was a teenager in the mid nineties, which was pretty much the golden age of softcore porn. Although we didn't have Skinemax at my house the local video store had an enormous selection of softcore videos - many of them the unrated versions. And over the course of probably two years I rented every single one of them. Some things I learned:

    -Like Frylock alluded to, the main female lead is almost always a psychologist/therapist.
    -Male leads are pretty much cops or especially private detectives.
    -If the female lead is in her late twenties or older she'll be cast in a mature role, such as said therapist or also often a bored housewife. If she's in her early twenties she'll be some fashion of bad girl.
    -If the male and female leads don't have sex almost as soon as they're seen together in the movie, then it will be a major plot point of the movie. When they eventually do have sex, it will be right around the 60 to 70 minute point in the movie. It will also likely be the last sex scene in the movie.


    Scorned may have been her magnum opus, but Shannon Tweed was the wannabe pretender to the title of Queen of the Softcores. That title rightfully belongs to Shannon Whirry, whose movies completely blow Tweed's out of the water. Not only is Shannon Whirry much hotter, practically all of her movies have more sex and more nudity. After seeing a Whirry flick Tweed immediately took a backseat when deciding what to watch.
     
  16. Dmix3

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    EDIT: Deleted, arguing about porn is stupid.
     
  17. Trakiel

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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Excuse me, I thought the intent of this thread was talking about softcore porn and our experiences of it when we were younger, not just what was on Skinemax - and I've seen way more softcore than the ten or so movies Skinemax had on rotation at any one time so I can say unequivocally that Whirry's movies were better than Tweed's. If you think Tweed's movies were better just because Tweed was in them you're an idiot. I've probably seen every softcore either of them has been in and while Scorned is the only Tweed movie I remember, I can remember almost all of Whirry's. The fact of the matter is when we're talking about softcore only two things really matter: sex and nudity. And Whirry's movies always had way more of both than Tweed's.

    As to who's hotter, of course that's a subjective thing, but saying one's hotter simply because she's more famous is stupid, as has been proven on this board many times.
     
  18. BadBrains

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    Although I can't really explain why, I learned that turning to the channel above the Cinemax channel would bring you a very warbled picture of whatever was on Cinemax. This was my holy grail until I got a hook up for VHS porn.

    Odd thing was, the picture would be really bad for 5 minutes, then really clear for two. Cue lots of "Ahhhhhs" then "Sonofabitch oooooohs".

    God bless the internet.
     
  19. walt

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    I learned women in softcore apparently can't spread their legs very wide open. They always keep them together or in some weird position that seems unnatural.

    I also learned to make sure and set the TV to Cartoon Network or something equally family friendly when I go to bed. We have East and West feeds on Satellite, and so far have managed to avoid explaining to the kids what the people on tv were doing at 7am.
     
  20. bewildered

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    I learned that you shouldn't leave Cinemax on from when you were watching regular movies in the afternoon, because when you come back from Christmas vigil mass with your family, there will be an enormous set of boobs bouncing up and down on screen to the horror of your mother and 5 year old brother.