Sir you detonated a nuclear device, here is your $500 fine.

According to the site, in Florida, When having sex only the missionary position is legal and you can fart only after 6 P.M.

 

Same in NC (the sex anyway, not sure about the farting)

A few NC gems:

While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.

If a man and a woman who aren’t married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.

It’s against the law to sing off key.

Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.

Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.

Restaurants “with on sidewalk dining” must post their menu so that it is clearly readable from the sidewalk, but is not readable from the street.

 

I've heard of a ridiculous law in Maryland about not being able to bring a lion to the movie theater on Sundays. It was probably from a web site such as this one.

In Virginia:

A male isn't allowed on the streets after sunset with less than $20 cash money.

A woman isn't allowed on the streets after sunset without a corsette or male chaperone.

You get fined for smacking a woman's ass.

No spitting on seagulls.

Dumb shit I've been cited for:

I got a ticket for surfing without a leash on my board. I got into an argument with a guy on the water which nearly lead to a fisticuffs exchange on the beach. Apparently someone saw this and called the cops. About 20 minutes later, 2 douchey cops showed up and I guess they wanted to write a ticket for something since they came down there, so they wrote me a ticket for surfing without a leash. Bush league.

I haven't been cited for this, but I've been warned twice about driving without shoes on. Both times driving through the Eastern Shore on my way up to Maryland. Once I was cruising with my bare foot hanging out the window, and a cop followed me until I stopped at a convenience store. He caught me before I went into the store and basically told me not to do that again. Whatever tool. The other time I stopped at a gas station and hopped out of my truck without shoes on to pump gas. A cop was at the store as well, saw this, and walked over and told me that I better not be driving without shoes on. Fuck off losers. Go harass some minorities or something (joking).

 

Just a heads up to anyone in Colorado about urinating in public. If you are coming back from the bars and have a long walk ahead of you and need to take a leak you may want to look for a very concealed spot. A very close friend of mine got tagged for the above offense and he almost had to register on the sex offenders list. Apparently urinating in public is comparable to committing a sex crime in Colorado. Also, they do enforce registering on the list so it is not some empty threat.

Maybe a lawyer can explain this logic to me, because I'm sure people who are somewhat smart thought this out and thought this made sense.