Sir you detonated a nuclear device, here is your $500 fine.

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.DumbLaws.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">www.DumbLaws.com</a>

These are laws that are on the books. Here are some gems I found from my college town.

-One must obtain a permit from the city to throw hay in a cesspool.
-It is illegal to own a green or smelly animal hide.
-Bowling on the sidewalk is illegal.
-Driving a herd of cattle down a street is against the law
-It is illegal to plant a garden in any public street.
-Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.

FOCUS: What are some of your ludicrous local laws?

Alt-Focus: What is the weirdest/dumbest thing you have been cited/arrested for?

 

Whenever I see a link for these types of things, all I can think of is:



I can see how some of these may be loose interpretations of a standing law ie, apply a circumstance that is covered, but I would sill like to actually see the laws.

 

In Texas, cyclists are required to wear helmets. Motorcyclists are not.

 

That site is pointless. Note the disclaimer.

Below is a bill introduced in the Ontario legislature. Didn't pass.

 

Apparently in the State of Oklahoma:
[*]Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
[*]Whaling is illegal.
[*]It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots. (I imagine this comes from farmers trying to fuck animals)
[*]Oral sex is a misdemeanor and is punisable by one year in jail and a $2,500 fine.

And in the city that I live in, "No one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger".

Alt Focus: I got a $250 ticket in Dallas for public urination. Not that that is a dumb or weird law, but I was dumb for getting caught doing it. Apparently pissing off your balcony while saying to someone else "this is my apartment, I can do what I want" in full view of the cops that are standing in the parking lot is a really dumb idea.

 

Alt. Focus: I had to spend a weekend in the Doraville jail because my phone died. A cab driver took me to the wrong hotel and I couldn't pay him because all my money was in my hotel room a couple exits up 285. He called the cops cause I was drunk and angry about being taken to the wrong place. They show up and say I've got five minutes to get someone up there and bring some money or I'm going to jail. My phone dies and they write a ticket for theft by taking and cuff me. The cab driver doesn't want to press charges, so they cross out theft and replace it with disorderly conduct. Fuck short little fucker cops... can't get it up without a gun ass mother fuckers... grumble.

 

Well in Ohio you can't get a fish drunk. That sucks for the fish who I assume would need a drink after we light their river on fire.

 

You're lucky you got off with a $250 fine. My buddy got caught and ended paying somewhere in the ballpark of $5,000 in fines and court fees. He had about three drinks in him at the time so he was sober but they still brought it up as a factor and he had to go to some sort of substance abuse meetings, I don't remember the exact details but I know it wasn't AA.

On top of it all he had to jump through a bunch of hoops including getting a doctors note saying he has a weak or small bladder and has to piss a lot (which was luckily true) just to stay off the sex offender list.

So basically, if you're visiting New England always take note of where the bathrooms are.

 

Apparently in the county adjacent to the one where I live, it is still legal to shoot an Indain, as long as he's on horseback and you are in or near a covered wagon.

I was gonna look this up, but it turns out I'm too lazy.

 

Last I heard, these laws are still on the books in Denver, CO:

*It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.

*You may not drive a black car on Sunday.

*The Dog Catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.

In Pueblo, CO, it is illegal to let a Dandelion grow within the city limits.

 

These are some of my favorite Pennsylvania Laws.

It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. This one I know is still in affect, because my ex-roommate had to move out of her sorority house under this law.

Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk. This one is also still in affect because it was the law that helped my cousin get an annulment.

You cannot walk backwards eating peanuts in front of the Barnstormers Auditorium during a performance. This is only a law in Ridley Park, PA. You can eat peanuts while walking backwards anywhere else in the state.

No one is allowed to sleep on a refrigerator. This one is my favorite.

You may not sing in the bathtub. I wonder how many people have broken this law

 

How timely, seeing as how I was just realeased from jail a few hours ago.

Yesterday afternoon, I was driving down a dirt road going home, and met a sheriffs’ blockade. At the unmarked intersection, four deputies walked up to my car, with hands on their guns (not drawn).
They asked me what I was doing on that particular road, and I said that I was going home (I had just dropped off my son), and when they ran my ID through the system, they found out that my license was suspended.
At that point, they called over a plain-clothes officer for the rest of the interrogation:

Spoiler

Cop--“So what are you doing driving on this road with no license?”
Me--”I’m going home.”
Cop--”So you’re going home on a dirt road in a car like this?” (I had borrowed my dad‘s car, a 2007 Mercury Grand Marquis. This was a well maintained caliche road, very driveable for a car like that.)
Me: “Yes. What is this all about?”
Cop: “Because we are on an investigation right now, and we are looking for a suspect matching your car and your description.”
Me--“Ok.”
Cop--“Do you have any weapons or drugs in the car?”
Me---“No.”
Cop--“Do you mind if we search the car?”
Me---“Yes.”
Cop--“Why?”
Me---“Because there is nothing in there.”
Cop--“Sir, did you know that driving without a valid license is an arrestable offence?”
Me---“No.”
Cop---“Well it is. It is one of the only misdemeanors that you can be arrested for.”
Me---“Alright.”
Cop--“So sir, I’m going to ask you again, can we search your vehicle?”
Me---“No.”
Cop--“Then I am placing you under arrest.”
Me---“Will searching the car get me free?”
Cop--“OH! SO NOW YOU’RE PLAYING GAMES WITH ME?!” (at this point he got up in my face so close I could smell his breath. I don't think he flosses regularly.)
Me---“What are you talking about?”
Cop--“You want me to say that you would be arrested for obstruction of justice if you don’t allow the search.”
Me---“You didn’t say anything like that.”
Cop--”Sir, you are under arrest for no License.”

After they put me in the back seat of the Police Expedition, I can see them through the rear-view mirror, descending on my car like a pack of dogs on a three legged cat, finding my trunk filled with bags of soda and beer cans for collection. THAT is why I didn’t want them to search the car; a couple of years earlier, I got a $188 citation for an open container of alcohol, when all I had was a capped beer bottle on the backseat floorboard with a few ounces left in it.
When I was being taken to the county jail, the officer driving told me that if I had answered the questions properly, I would probably have been on my way home with only a citation.

The reason the officers were on the lookout was because there was a murder in the area, I later found out.

 

So uh....how many times have you been arrested? Because from my memory of your various posts, it seems like you must need at least both hands. If not a third.

 

Alt-Focus: What is the weirdest/dumbest thing you have been cited/arrested for?

Having a good time in Madison. Damn you Mifflin!

 

This story didn't happen to me. It very nearly could have, except that I couldn't get the weekend off from looking after my son.

Spoiler

A couple of years ago, our business sponsored a young kid getting his first professional race in the formula series. The race was in Tasmania and we were invited to go. I couldn't (for the above reasons) but my business partners did. Tasmania (the little island state on the bottom on Australia) is often jokingly referred to as full of in-breds, with the common jibe that they all have two heads.

The guys proceed to get hammered drunk on the way down. By the time they reach Tasmania, they're rolling... but holding it. On the taxi ride to the hotel, they ask the driver what's the population of the town. He says a figure, and they ask, "Is that heads or bodies?". They nearly get thrown out on their asses, and that sets the tone for the rest of the night.

At the hotel, in the lobby bar, they think they see one of the manager's dealing drugs. They question him about it... more along the lines of, "where's ours?". He hotly denies it, and some back and forth goes on. A few minutes later, they order some counter food. The manager they'd had words with delivers it. They refuse the food, thinking he'd done something to it. Shortly after that they retire to their room.

One of the guys, still hungry, orders room service. Because he's a smartass, when it arrives he opens the door naked. The staff don't take that too well. Barely 30 minutes later, there's a knock on the door and they open it to 6 police officers telling them to vacate the premises. Grumbling and arguing, they pack their stuff and go downstairs. By this time it's about 2am, cold, windy and raining. One of them is sobered up slightly, so he's asking a female officer where they can go as they don't know the place at all. She's not assisting and just keeps repeating, "get off the premises." He tells her to shut up and goes and asks one of the male officers. As the male officer is explaining where to go, the female comes up behind him and cuffs him for failure to follow directions... and tosses him in the van. He's not fighting it, but he's not going easy.

The other guy is slightly shocked at this. A policeman tells him to get in the van while they deal with my other partner. So, he goes and sits in the front passenger seat. This, obviously, causes more problems.

They get hauled downtown, booked and released. Plus, by some city ordinance, they're banned from a certain area for 24 hours. This area includes all the hotels. So they find the nearest undercover parking garage, sleep on the concrete for a few hours until it's light and the rain stops, and then head straight back to the airport to get out of the place.

A couple of months later they have to front court. Not attending is not an option, as it screws with their work qualifications, and they front up with serious representation as they can't afford a conviction either. The court adjourned the matter to the registry; which is their way of saying "we're not pushing this further, but come back and cause any more trouble and you'll get hit with it."

There are no plans to go back there ever.

 

Not a law, per se, but in Huntsville, Alabama we have active fallout shelters with enough space to accommodate the entire town in case of a nuclear attack. They sites are maintained pretty well, but they're "bring your own everything."

Alt-focus: One time I got a warning ticket telling me I couldn't park my car at a state park after sunset. How the hell else am I supposed to go night hiking?

 

According to the site it is illegal to turn at a red light in Canada at any time. That is not true at all except maybe for some provinces. In BC its allowed at least.

However, one law listed, I wish to god we'd start enforcing: "You may not pay for a fifty-cent item with only pennies."

Anyone who is working or has worked in retail, or hell, anyone who has shopped at a store and had to sit behind someone counting pennies can sympathize. Maybe we can amend it for any item over fifty cents...

 

Thats horse shit. Its completely legal in every provence except Quebec.

 

There is a law in Berlin mandating all cyclists have two reflectors on their bikes at all times. A tour guide whose services I procured was once fined with this particular offence. The law was, of course, started during the old Nazi days when Herman Goering had a monopoly on bicycle reflectors. The tour guide thought better than to remind the German police officer about the history of that particular law.

Again, untrue. Within the province of Quebec, it is illegal only on the island of Montreal; otherwise, it's legal unless a sign specifically prohibits it.

 

Oh, really? And where, pray, is this "Montreal"?