Silly Billy Pilgrim, Weekend Drunk Thread 9/28/12-9/30/07

Nothing to role play here, that was the real shit bro.

 

....What? Is this a thing? Why is this happening? Is it like an ironic hipster thing?

 

Sadly it appears no. They are nerdy guys with sensitive feelings who spend a lot of time on the Internet. As far as I can tell, they're completely earnest about this.

 

The Brony thing goes over the thin red line of weirdness and into person-of-interest territory. It was a show and toy collection for LITTLE GIRLS. My daughter has one, because she is female and not yet four years old. Which also means if I saw one of these people near her I would probably beat them to death with a rock.

This doesn't make you fucking "sensitive". It makes you Buffalo Bill but fat and with a ponytail.

 

What jumps out at me is that a) why are there quote marks around "guys" and b) they apparently had way too many applicants...

c) through z) are about why you would do this for a bachelor party, but sadly it's not the first time I've heard of this.

 

I think I was lucky that I never had to deal with the poor hygiene problem when tabletop gaming.

It's been a number of years since I last played D&D. I miss it. I think I'll probably dip back into it in a few years when my weekends free up somewhat and I have creative energy to spare again.

 

God damnit Internet, I'm about to spend damn near two hundred dollars on shaving bullshit because of you. This better work out. Also, anyone need a zj? Brony role play will cost you double. And stop bringing up Allen Edmonds for fucking sakes. Gravy : impulse control :: d&d players : showers.

 

This is something I didn't quite get when I bought my old-school shaving gear. The razors themselves are drug-store standards. The shaving cream is the same ol shit. The razor is 1954 Gillette that I found at a flea market for $3 and the brush was $10 as part of a broken set. Will shaving with the $300 Art of Shaving kit really make that much of a difference? I'm really happy with the difference between my Mach 324 horseshit and the way Grandpa shaved, but I can't imagine there's much room for improvement in a handle and brush. My technique on the other hand....

 

Man, I was totally planning on blowing off Halloween this year because I was just not in the mood for it, but now I'm having a sexual guest that weekend so I have to care. And not only do I have to put effort into it, I now have to come up with something slutty and I can't bring myself to bother. I had two ideas that revolved around a corset and clothes I already have, so I ordered the corset. I got it today and tried it on and, first, jesus christ I understand why you generally need 2-3 people to get someone into a corset. Attempting to do it by myself was not easy, and I didn't actually do it all the way because I couldn't pull the laces in the back tight on my own. Second, I am generally meh about it. I'm not getting the Renaissance Faire Boobs that I wanted. It actually kind of flattens them. Am I somehow managing to do it wrong? Overall it's just very solidly Okay. I'm think I'm going to end up returning it, but now I have zero ideas of what to do. Right now my plan is to accidentally get us both so drunk in my apartment that neither of us will care about going out anymore. That's a solid plan, right? I'll pick up a pair of animal ears just in case.

 

Speaking of tabletop gaming, I just got this call tonight:

Friend: Sorry to call so late, but Brad [one of the guys who I game with] had a heart attack and is in the hospital.

Trakiel: Holy shit, is he going to be alright?

Friend: I don't know, he's taking it day by day. He did say he still wants to game on Saturday.

Trakiel: Well alrighty then.

 

I don't think spending $300 on a shaving kit is necessary at all. I use a DE safety razor and a cheaper brush I found on amazon. I do, however, spend a little more on the cream because my face is super sensitive. I buy Art of Shaving Sandalwood cream in the 5oz jar. It runs around 25-30 online but it will last a long fucking time. I'm still on the first jar and its been too long to count. I think the biggest difference I have noticed, for me, is always shaving after I shower(never before) and keep the bathroom nice and hot and steamy after the shower. It keeps the skin moist and you get less burn.

 

I just.....don't know anymore.

 

Are you gentlemen shaving your vaginas? I use a disposable with soap in the shower without a mirror.

 

The real lesson here is that I am an idiot, an idiot who should never have bought an amazon prime membership.

 

Of course you don't need a mirror to shave your snatch, you can just look down. I'm pretty sure these guys are talking about their faces and that's why they need the mirror.

 

Your writing career ought be taking off - fantastic opening sentence. Really grabs the reader's attention. Also, is your address book grouped by sexual guests and non-sexual guests? I digress . . .

There are a lot of smart and talented people on this board. You could really get some solid advice here. Your best bet is to post before and after photos for our review and comment.

If that's your version of phoning it in, it's not going to accomplish the goal of getting your sexual guest hot and bothered during the evening out. You could do both - simple and sexy - with something like this:


It's sure to get his or her motor running.