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Shuffling Off

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DrFrylock, Sep 20, 2010.

  1. miss_c

    miss_c
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    I'm trying to decide if this is awesome or macarbe.

    Almost makes me want to come back as a massive pimp ring.
     
  2. scotchcrotch

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    My one wish when I die is that it's a celebration of life, rather than a sad occassion.


    Ok, maybe that's a little much to ask, but at least get all the sadness out of the way quickly. Then break out the keg, the music, and have a less depressing wake with some damn good bbq.

    I want people leaving there with a renewed look on life, not depressed. Remember me fondly, but stop taking life for granted.


    A new outlook on life would affect someone a lot more profoundly, and longer, than a depressing shitfest of emotions.
     
  3. Danger Boy

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    I'm hoping for something like this:
    [​IMG]
     
  4. Samr

    Samr
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    Oh god, this thread brings back some tremendous memories...

    Unfortunately, I have actually gone through this process before. I had just turned 19, and was in the neurological intensive care unit. Surgery was in about 24 hours, and my chances of survival were not exactly what you'd want them to be. Even worse, I was entirely "sober" (best word to describe it; I was just normal, like you are maybe now), so I was fully conscious and aware during the whole damn process.

    Naturally, over the course of conversation, my potentially impending death came up. Accordingly, I decided it was best not to leave things up to someone else. In between the priest coming in to say prayers (at my family's wishing, not mine), and the various medical tests, I decided and then told my mother and step-father EXACTLY what I wanted to happen in the event I passed.

    Most if this is relevant to the thread. What isn't, I figure y'all would still find interesting as it's part of the "package" I guess. My actions are in bold; my reasoning is after.

    - Signed a power of attorney basically eliminating my biological father from being able to do anything with me. I didn't trust him, I don't like him, and I had (and still don't) have any relationship with him. Simple as that. If I died, he was going to try to make himself involved. I was gonna make damn sure he wasn't.

    - All my assets would be liquified and all of my "estate" (admittedly, not much at the time) was to be donated to underprivileged families to help them afford preschool. This was something I didn't realize how much I believed in, until I was at that point in the hospital. Once I survived, I altered my profession to be in line with this cause. Without going into great detail, the proudest accomplishment I have in life were the changes I helped put in motion within my community along these lines. There are now several dozen underprivileged families able to afford their children an early education, directly because of me. I'm smiling as I type this.

    - I was to be buried on my family's ranch. We have a "family" cemetery on the property, initially built as a strategic move to keep large power lines from directing onto our and our neighbors' properties. Well, there's still a cemetery there, and I wanted to be the inaugural burial in it. Before my surgery my grandfather (who has had cancer, parkinsons, brain shunt, and is basically a walking medical disaster) and I morbidly joked that we were racing each other to the grave. It's something genetic in me, and I now know I got it from him -- when life can't get any worse, laugh. I now live in another house on that property, have bad PTSD, occasional terrible flashbacks, frequent and extreme panic attacks, and yet I still have to drive past that damn cemetery entering and leaving home now. It doesn't help. I'm still going to be buried there.

    Though this sounds like a viable alternative.

    - No ifs ands or buts -- at my funeral service, there was going to be a keg. Church service or whatever proceeding it if my family wanted (and the keg had to be there), but directly after, they were to throw a massive party. Death is sad, but my life was joyous. I had a few in my family who voiced disagreement with my party idea, but I was firm: if I was to die, I wanted them to celebrate what I had done, what I had helped them do, and the memories they shared with me. I also, more importantly, wanted them to celebrate THEIR OWN lives during that party. I may be dead, but they were still alive, and as such there was nothing they couldn't do. Your girlfriend may break up with you or you may get divorced. You may get fired. You may end up in jail. Your family may disown you. Your book/movie/song/art may never see the light of day. The stock market may crash, the world may go to war, a natural disaster may wipe out everything you think of as "home." But as long as you're alive, you have the chance to make a difference in the world. In your world. That's why I wanted them to throw a party if I died. Not because I died, but because they didn't.

    To this day, that conversation that I had with my mother (I told her which pictures I wanted on my casket and a bunch of other crap too) remains the most painful memory of my existence. It wasn't peaceful like you see in movies or read about in books. It wasn't glorious. I wasn't smiling, knowingly, lovingly. It was a dying child, terrified in a hospital bed, clinging to sheets that didn't warm, telling his mother what he wanted her to do with his lifeless body.

    I wish it on no one. And as nice as all these different ways of people handling your body sound now, provided you are lucky enough to actually know when your expiration date is going to come, I can tell you from experience that things may very well change.

    My advice, for those who haven't done one yet, is to get a will in place. Pay $300 to an attorney to do it right. All I had in the hospital was a signed Power of Attorney, a spoken will with no witnesses, and a promise from my mother I prayed she would keep. Get a will.
     
  5. dubyu tee eff

    dubyu tee eff
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    Thinks he has a chance with Christina Hendricks...

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    No one else wants to be cryogenically frozen? Dying would fucking suck and if there is even a 1% chance of cryogenics working, I'm going to take that chance. Just fucking imagine....waking up in the future. It would be amazing.

    Of course, what I'm really hoping for is that by the time my time comes, we will have developed the technology to have our brains uploaded into a computer. Then I could more or less live as long as I want. Alternatively, we seem to be making decent progress on prosthetic body parts and artificial organs. If we can keep swapping out parts then there need be no limit to how long we can live.

    As far as I'm concerned, fuck "dying" in the traditional sense. That shit is for pussies.
     
  6. Dcc001

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    When my young cousin passed away abruptly and unexpectedly, I got to see "what it will be like if I died young," and the effect it will have on my family. No thanks. However, during the tumultuous week-long period when everybody flew in from the four corners of the globe, one of my aunts said something profound. She said, "That's why I don't tell the kids (she has a son and a daughter, both grown) what to do when I die. I want them to do whatever they feel they must to ease their pain and bring them closure."

    I have to agree with her. Hopefully, when I die it will be at the end of a long and productive life. When it happens I want my children and the rest of my family to do whatever they feel they must to make it as easy as possible.

    My only stipulation is that my dog (or dogs) at the time must be involved. They're to be at the funeral home, at the graveside, whatever.
     
  7. BL1Y

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    I don't really care what happens to my remains. I'm an organ donor, but I plan to use up as many of them as I can during life, drinking heavily and sitting too close to the TV. But really, I find that I just don't care. I am however worried about what will happen to my stuff. Not the really good stuff, but the junk. I don't think I really have anything to hide, but I'm really private, and just don't like the idea of someone going through all my stuff. I think I should start labeling boxes as "contains no monetary or sentimental valuables; destroy upon death."
     
  8. Beefy Phil

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    It used to be a Viking Funeral for me. Everyone gets a bow and three flaming arrows and whoever lights the ship up first gets my estate. Then I was like, "Fuck that, they'll have to earn it."

    Now, they're all going out into international waters on a chartered yacht. As the sun comes over the horizon, everyone onboard is handed their own RPG. Suddenly, in the distance, the sound of a powerboat is heard speeding toward the yacht on a collision course. In said boat sits my corpse, tied to the chair in a deliciously morbid cross between Weekend at Bernie's 2 and Thunder in Paradise. Beside me rests 100 pounds of C4 explosive, wired to blow upon impact with the yacht. At that point, it's up to my friends and loved ones to blow me out of the water before I kill them all. First one to tag me gets everything.

    "That's mean", you say. It's not about them. It's about me. It's all about me.
     
  9. ghettoastronaut

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    How could I have forgotten? If anyone wants any of my crap, they're going to have to engage in contests and various feats of strength to get it. Sexy feats of strength. Which means you must either be a (sexy) woman or appoint a (sexy) female agent to compete on your behalf. The most amount of clothing allowed shall be underwear and a thin, white, wet t-shirt.

    Also, if there's going to be a keg, make sure it's god damned good beer. I wouldn't have stood for that Molson shit while I was alive, so don't try to sneak one past me just because I'm dead. The fine young (or old) man (or woman) who gets my liver had better be enjoying only the finest of libations as well. I treated my liver well when I was alive: I expect you to do the same.

    [​IMG]
     
  10. MadDocker

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    I really want my family and best mates to take my body out on a nice boat, kick me over the side and then have a drunken party out at sea.

    I'll feed a few fish and hopefully scare a scuba diver someday.
     
  11. E. Tuffmen

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    Hate the thought of being in the ground. Don't like the idea of being burned up. I want to go into one of these:

    [​IMG]
     
  12. SamuelBodo

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    Zahi Hawass looks like corruption.
     
  13. McSmallstuff

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    I said it on the old board, and I'll say it on this one. Donate my ass to the Myth Busters!

    Blow me up. Launch me with a homemade rocket. Put me through a wood chipper. I don't really care. Just as long as I go out in an entertaining fashion.

    Also as others have said, there will be a kegs. There will be music. And I want bouncers. The first jackass trying to bring down the mood of my party gets tossed out on his ass!

    And I want the first song of the night to be this:
     
    #33 McSmallstuff, Sep 23, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  14. Pink Candy

    Pink Candy
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    I already told Mr. Pink how shit should be arranged. I want to be cremated, placed into a cobalt urn and then he can decide whether or not to keep my ashes around or spread them someplace with meaning.

    The reason I want cremation is simple. I'm too vain. I don't want to decompose and turn hideous. Plus I get the willies thinking about all those chemicals pumped into my body. Put my ass in the oven and have a service. End of story.

    But I do agree with those that would prefer a celebration of life instead of my Italian family's Catholic ritual of wakes, drawn out funeral masses and then a torturous cemetary ritual that involves roses on the casket. No, thanks.
     
  15. KIMaster

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    I couldn't care less. It would be up to my family to decide. After all, burial, funeral services, etc. are not for the dead...they are for the living. It's their peace of mind that is most important, not mine, as I will already be dead.

    Whatever makes them feel happiest and most secure.
     
  16. lust4life

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    Ever since my kids we're old enough to understand language, I played this little game of sorts with them where I'd give them an evil stare and say in a very solemn tone, "I'm watching you!" and they would laugh, and I continue to do it to this day, and it still gets at least a smile.

    That being said, I'm to be cremated, my remains to be placed in an urn inscribed with the words, "I'm watching you!" My last will and testament dictates that they alternate possession of said urn on an annual basis. Even in death, I want to make them laugh.

    WC Fields was a clever prick. He left his entire estate to an orphanage, so his survivors had to sue orphans to get the money.
     
  17. Dr. Gonzo Esquire

    Dr. Gonzo Esquire
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    Disturbed

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    I'm donating my body to science. Everything but my liver should be pretty useful.
     
  18. LogCabin

    LogCabin
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    I'm going to have someone cut off one of my limbs. After, he/she will mail it in a box to my ex with a note attached reading, "You're next, Janet." then sign off as some escaped local convict.