You know “Lembas Bread” from LotR? I’m 100% convinced that stuff tastes just like a Popeyes’ Biscuit. With regards to garden tool metaphors used in sexist vernacular, would a “rake” be the correct way to refer to a “ho” that “leaves”? Is it physically possible to enunciate the word “asks”? I can hear it in my head, and can say the standard word “ask” without any problems, and that friggin “-s” at the end renders the word unpronounceable for me (“asked” is also difficult, but to a lesser degree). Do you think that any of the “5 little monkeys jumping on the bed” ever slipped into comas resulting from being allowed to go right back to bed after bumping their heads and suffering severe concussions? Beef Wellington is just a stuffed-sandwich for rich people. Cupcakes are basically donuts that are baked rather than fried (which = “more healthy” according to the Lays potato chip people), and yet you’d only receive weird looks for eating 2-3 of the former for breakfast. I don’t think I’ve ever purchased something that was offered to me in an unsolicited letter or email. However, there have definitely been times where I would NOT to do business with a company because they sent me an unsolicited letter or email. I’m probably the only person that thinks we should do away with Halloween completely, and start putting up Christmas trees & decorations (with Mariah Carey blaring non-stop on repeat) sometime around mid-September. I also think I’m more likely to be lynched for this belief than ANY controversial political opinion I may have. Focus: Share your deep and not-so-deep thoughts that race through your mind while showering/driving/daydreaming/etc.
If fat people cried harder they might lose more weight, but that would make them happier and give them less of a reason to cry. Martin Luther King dies and we get a day off, but 3000 people die on 9/11 and we dont get a day off? bump.
Today's Shower Thought: I really hope we have a conversation about racism and privilege on the board today. WIN!
I should put a tv on the wall so I can watch porn in here. Fuck laptops. Why didn't I bring a beer with me? I wonder if she'll pull the car over if I say.... yep. I can't wait until that driver pulls that shit with a driver as stupid as him.
The Republic cannot be saved unless and until The Count of Monte Cristo is required annual reading for every citizen...
Considering how I sometimes, ahem, relax while I'm in the shower, I feel pretty confident saying that you guys don't want me to share my shower thoughts.
They took a good idea and raped it. That thing is like a Thanksgiving leftover sandwich morphing into a leftover layer casserole morphing into a Thanksgiving themed cake. What in the fuck.