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SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by The Village Idiot, Sep 25, 2013.

  1. silway

    silway
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    I have a slight advantage in that as a financial adviser I'd be able to invest my winnings, but also make a commission on those investment products, invest those commissions and then make more of a commission which essentially would give me an extra X million off the bat. Which is handy. First thing I would do is take a large amount of money and put it in untouchable retirement plans (via trusts most likely) so that even if I totally screw up how I handle the windfall I will be set in my older years. Anyway;

    My retirement plan right now is to play poker tournaments, do some financial advising on the side, and run LARPs. Which is essentially what I would do if I won the lottery, just 30 years earlier. I'd have some select high net worth clients (now that my ability to network to them is much greater) because I enjoy figuring out financial puzzles. I'd play in the WSOP, WPT, and travel occasionally to the EPT, etc. And I'd push some interesting limits in LARPing now that budget is not a concern.

    I'd buy out the houses of my parents and in-laws and let them live there rent free for life.

    I don't think I could avoid letting people know what had happened, even if I managed to delay the news for a few months while getting things set up. That said, it will be a wonderful sorting mechanism to learn more about who my friends are. Select people who have been there for me over the years would get cash, probably in the 10k range. Probably also my sister-in-law. It says something about my familial relationships that I'd have to think about whether to give my brother anything, though he's set financially so it's not a question of helping him out of hardship.

    I'd definitely get a very nice house, as I love airy space, with tricked out electronics and appliances and the like. Probably custom designed.

    My wife and I would have good cars. I'm not a car guy so I don't know what kind, something with a lot of amenities and probably leaning towards electric or hybrid. But, more importantly, since I hate driving, I'd get a driver. Who is also my butler, because I really really want a butler.

    Three chicks at the same time, I have yet to crack that frontier.
     
  2. caseykasem

    caseykasem
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    Like others, I would claim it anonymously. I would hire one of my tax planning professors and would probably set up a few trusts just to be safe and so that I could maximize the amount of money I could pass to my kids. I would invest roughly half of the money in low risk investments and let that shit make money.

    I would buy a nice ass ring for my girlfriend, take her on vacation, and propose because she's the shit and hot as fuck. I would then pay off her student loans. I would also pay my parents back for the schooling they've paid for. I would buy my dad a Porsche Panamera (he's obsessed), I would also buy my mom a car. I would gift some to my brother or invest in his business and pay for his kids' college. I would take my grandmother on vacation anywhere she wants because she deserves it.

    I would then pay for my wedding and buy a nice house with a big ass home gym and a pool. Nothing too big because I can't stand to maintain it or pay someone to do that shit for me. Just something with enough room and with all the newest shit. I would definitely have a man cave complete with a big tv, a cigar humidor, and a pool table. I would buy the newly minted bride and myself new cars. She would probably pick some SUV and I would probably buy a supercar and a pickup for when I don't want to be noticed.

    She could either continue to work at her law firm or quit. I don't care which. I would never practice law. I would spend my time coaching youth hockey, traveling, and investing in unique but profitable business ventures. I would definitely buy a place in Jackson, WY and make frequent trips there to snowboard, hunt, and fish.
     
  3. bewildered

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    Yatta yatta, same as all of you. Tell no one, invest it, live comfortably forever.

    I wonder how many people who win the lottery and then do stupid shit until they are completely in debt thought the same thing?
     
  4. gamecocks

    gamecocks
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    Secede.
     
  5. toddamus

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    A surprising number of lottery winners go bankrupt. Apparently winning a huge amount of money doesn't make you any less white trash or stupid.
     
  6. Superfantastic

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    Some good calls re: staying anonymous.

    The first investment I'd make is in the company I work for. At least a few million in a "Friends/Family/Employee MIC", since the company's track record has basically been double your money every four years. Then travel. Frist back to Australia to see my cousin, and New Zealand to see the parts I missed, then Europe and wherever the fuck else. Probably take about two years. When I returned, I'd attempt to see every Oiler game in the season, following the team around to every city, and catching as many NFL games as possible along the way. I'd pay for the flights of any friend who wanted to join.

    After that, I'd figure out some ranking of how much I'd give my family and friends, starting at about a million per immediate family member, as well as donations to charity. Then I'd basically become J.D. Salinger without the previous success, and just write all the goddamn time. I'd also start chartering chopper rides over the interior British Colombia mountains, scoping out acres to build a self-sustaining compound, on which any family and friends would be welcome to build their homes.

    Oh and there'd be a good week or two, in Vegas, probably, where I'd rent out the sweetest suites and bang five high class escorts and/or porn stars at the same time. Kind of assume that goes without saying.
     
  7. Angel_1756

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    Agreed.
    I saw this guy on some TV special bragging about the suits of armor he had purchased and the multitude of swords. Over the course of a few years, he and his wife effectively shot $27M into their arms. That kind of money is just damned dangerous.
     
  8. bewildered

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    Yep. A lot of them are actually worse off because they make long term purchases like houses or boats that they end up losing, plus on top of that a lot of them quit their jobs.
     
  9. Roxanne

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    I would recast movies I thought were poorly cast, and then reshoot them. Also I'd change the stories to any movies that could have been so much better if only they were done right. Or have them reedited. Basically I'd just remake movies to my exact specifications and watch them in my private theater.

    Given the fact that I have fantastic taste, this would mean when I re-released them to the public, my wealth would compound forever.
     
  10. Coke Bottle Casualty

    Coke Bottle Casualty
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    I'd give half of it to ballsack's ex-wife.

    EDIT: Clearly I'm thinking hastily. $25 mil to his ex wife, another $25 to buy up all the property around his house to build a Synagogue and Jewish community centre.
     
  11. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Honestly probably not many. Remember the people who are winning lotteries are the exact same people who think that playing the lottery in the first place is a sound investment decision. So I'm going to believe there's a causational relationship here.
     
  12. Frebis

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    After all the boring investment stuff:
    I would hire a driver and never drive again.
    I would never clean again.
    I would never work a real job again.
    My time would be spent snowboarding at the best places between October and April.
    From May to September I would spend my time playing the best golf courses in the world.
    When not engaging in the above activities I would be doing charity work.
    If I got bored I would start a brewery that specialized in unique beers.
    My life woukd be a stress free playground.
     
  13. mya

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    So, I'm the only one who would blow it on sex drugs and rock and roll? You guys aren't invited to my parties
     
  14. MoreCowbell

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  15. CharlesJohnson

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    [​IMG]
     
  16. Revengeofthenerds

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    For the IVF?
     
  17. Danger Boy

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    Couldn't you buy her an ass ring now? They can't be that expensive.

    Focus:
    I'd keep my fucking mouth shut about it and invest it in farm land.
     
  18. Frank

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    There's actually a documentary that follows some lottery winners called Millions: A Lottery Story, it's free if you have Amazon Prime, but it's also on youtube if you don't.
     
  19. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    There's also one called 'Lucky' on HBO that is really good. It's also really sad.
     
  20. lust4life

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    Help out family members, e.g., take care of my nieces' debts from med school; set up trusts for my kids and all my nieces and nephews; charter a really nice, big yacht for a year or two and sail around the world and find the spot we want to live out the rest of our lives in.