Mississippi State is swirling with rumors that freshman ADPi sisters are behind a series of mysterious dumps that have appeared in locations as diverse of the Pi Kappa Alpha front lawn, the top of a cooler, and a trashcan. So it seems like as part of pledging to a sorority, girls are shitting all over Mississippi state. Because why should Frat's corner the market on awful? There seem to already be rumors that it's all a frame up - but no matter who's at fault, it's a shitty state of affairs. Focus: Tell us your stories. What stupid shit have you done to impress dickbags? Or have you ever framed someone for your dumb pranks? Alt Focus: Shitting stories I guess. It's too obvious a link to think we'd get through this thread without them so do your worst I guess.
Brings back memories of the infamous Bunny Shit from the old board... But still, sororities... bringing sexy back. NSFW One of the actual shits in question.
First college house my friends and I had we decided to throw a party, this started with my good friend buying a round at the golf course bar across the street around 4 hours before said party was to start. I don't do tequila, at all, ever. It tastes like what I'd imagine a 30 dollar whore's asshole tastes like after a 90 degree day turning tricks. My asshole buddy knows I hate it and proceeds to buy a round of Red Hat, AKA El Toro, which I throw back and then puke back up all over the county sheriff that happened to walk in at that moment. So my ass in in the clink for public intox and when I walk in the house at 9 AM having to piss badly I finish my business and flush the shitter only to find that none of our 3 bathrooms are working properly. All 3 of our bathrooms had been upper decked, to this day no one has figured out who shit in all three of our toilet tanks on the same night. I wouldn't know having been locked down for the night but I sure as fuck didn't clean the tanks.
First of all, I discourage anyone from attempting an upper-decker. It's hard. Second, my freshman year there was a volleyball player who had so much whiskey, it became a journey back in evolutionary time. She began an eloquent, modern woman, regressed to a state of "(grunt) fuck, go now" so some poor bastard took her home. Upon arrival, he left her to attend to some other matter. She had devolved into a damned dirty ape, pissing on top of his pillow, shitting in the floor and wiping her ass with his sheet and then somehow slipping and falling in it. He said the smell made him doubt the existence of God. She transferred out of school the next week. Whiskey rules.
My entire college experience revolved around Greek Life because at my school that community is pretty insulated. You barely hang out with people outside of it unless it some guy or girl you're seeing, or a friend from home, and even then they tend to get woven into the fold. There was a lot of shenanigans, too many to count. But there were some extreme circumstances worth noting: 1) The fraternity president when I first joined was a nut job and a bit of a moron; it too him 6.5 years to complete a B.A. in Communications. He was from big bad Rhode Island, and for anyone not familiar with New England, people from the Providence area act like its a mini New Jersey and this guy played the guido part to a T. One night in particular, after some sorostitute finished doing a line of coke off his cock, he locked himself in the handicapped bathroom and was threatening to cut his wrists with a butter knife because he couldn't handle the fact that his grandma died. 3 years earlier. The fire department had to break the lock and the police restrained him and put him on a 48 hour hold. 2) I've posted about it before in other topics, but some former member went nuts and tried to kill a bunch of us. He kept stalking and harassing the chapter so much that he had a restraining order put on him. Eventually he got taken down by a police K-9 Unit and was thrown in jail. He left us alone after that. A few years later he broke into some rich guys house, put on his dead wife's clothes, and told him that God had sent him there. Heres his mug shot: Spoiler 3) Another time a bunch of us went to Miami to catch a cruise to the Bahamas for spring break. We went to some club and a buddy of mine straight up fucked a tranny in the club bathroom. He came out with the biggest smile on his face saying he "just totally fucked that girl in the ass." Once we stopped crying from laughter, we convinced him that it was actually a transexual and there was probably a reason she wanted him to fuck her in the ass. Ive never seen a smile turn into a look of fear in such an amazing way. I wish I could have captured it and made it a keepsake forever.
I Felta Thigh Like Juice - so. many. stories. But, unlike Juice, I don't have the gift of making the story brief. One of them ended a long night with me in jail, wearing an orange jumpsuit (i.e. I had NO posessions of my own with me) and seeing a fraternity brother looking at me from the adjacent cell, separated by thick plexiglass, and him saying "Do you have a dime* so I can make a phone call?" Alt Focus: Shitting stories I guess. It's too obvious a link to think we'd get through this thread without them so do your worst I guess. We used to do "pledge pigeons" - we would stand on the balcony of our fraternity dorm hall armed with water balloons, yell "Pull!" and the pledges had to walk from point A to point B. We would throw the water balloons at them. The brothers were usually good and drunk, so our aim and success rate was terrible. One time, my roommate filled a balloon with sour milk - which is pretty gross. We were took drunk to realize that was poor judgement, until one brother says, "Hey, we should fill one with piss! Ha ha ha ha," and another one says, "Oh, I think I've got diarreah I could contribute." Um, no, dude. We sort of sobered up and looked at each other. "Well, that escalated quickly." That was the end of pledge pigeons. * Kids, a pay phone call was 10 cents when I was in college! What's a pay phone? Shut up, go ask your father.
One of my good friends lived in a house with 3 other guys. One of his roommates was a good guy, but the kind of guy you love to hate. 6'3, jaw of granite, model looks, and had been a good HS QB. To top it off, his Dad was a prominent and wealthy lawyer in a smaller city in Indiana (fine, it was Fort Wayne) and he had given him a BMW X5 cause he was going to college on a partial scholarship. So he had alot going for him. As a result, even though he was a solid dude, he was fun to fuck with cause he didn't take adversity all that well, OH, he was also TERRIBLE at drinking. Like pass out mid-party shirtless on a couch at like 10PM. Well, one such time, we were day drinking, he drank heavily bemoaning a ND football loss and passed around 2:30 in the afternoon..near their steps to upstairs. So naturally we handcuffed him to the bannister and left a saw next to him with a note that said "You must choose, your hand or your freedom" (Saw was everyone's shit at that time). We opened a smelling salt next to where his head was resting on the floor and sprinted into the other room. His scream when he woke up, and subsequent tears are to this day, some of the funniest shit I've ever heard. We were in hysterics. Hopefully we werent the reason that the next year he had an emotional breakdown culminating in him breaking into one of the business school buildings, through a window, on a Sunday, dressed in an Armani suit and Burberry tie, with flowers and an empty ring box saying he needed to propose to his gf...who had broken up with him 9 months earlier. That was fun...
Alt Focus: Friend of mine is a cop and told me this gem of a story. It of course involves college girls...because apparently shitting in public is the new in thing for them. My buddy was shirking his duty and went to the boardwalk by his post to relax. Directly across from the boardwalk were dorms for a local college. He sees two college girls hanging out on a bench, thinks nothing of it. He said he then heard the girls laughing hysterically, turns around and sees one squatting down, she jumps up really fast and pulls her panties back up under her skirt. He assumes she is just drunk and took a piss and doesn't want to be bothered writing them a summons. Girls leave. He walks by a few minutes and the girl didn't take a piss...instead she took a steaming shit right by the bench, in public, in broad daylight...with the dorms literally 50 feet away. He told me if he had known she was talking a shit, he would have arrested her, because, seriously who the fuck does that?
In early high school I worked at the golf course on which my parents owned a house. I hated my asshat co-worker who was in charge of "cutting the cups". He was an all around douchebag that everyone hated. Every morning he would change the placement of the hole on each of the greens on the course. To get back at him my cousin and I decided that we would shit in the cups on a Friday night before he was to change the cups on Saturday. So, we snuck out of my house and went a few holes away so as not to raise suspicion that it was me and shit in the cups on two of the greens. The next day at work I heard him come across the radio, "Someone shit in the cups on holes 14 and 15! How the fuck am I supposed to change them?" I laughed my ass off as I mowed all damn day. One of the bosses gave him shit for it for the rest of the summer because he had stuck his hand in it on the first one.
The bathroom on the aircraft I flew on is in the tail and occasionally on a slow flight the pilots would have a little fun with someone if they went to the can. There's nothing funny about going to negative G's with your flightsuit at half mast, even for just a moment. This wasn't a prank, but its the only shitty story I have... It's against procedure to leave your crew position during air refueling, but due to an 'urgent' need related to chowhall food, a guy was on the can during air refueling and sure enough they had to do an emergency separation from the tanker. He and the contents of the toilet ended up together in free fall. He spent the remaining nine hours of the flight covered in shit and blue water. Everybody still calls him Blue. I can't get the youtube link to work, but here's a link to a video of an emergency separation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=YcLiAAVeYhk
Oh Shart! Only happened once in my adult life. The scary thing was how out-of-nowhere it was. I always imagined if it happened, I would sort of know it was a risk to begin with, but this was subtle and unassuming. I wasn’t even expecting a sound. Was as if the part of my brain that assesses the risk of each fart judged it good-to-go, but it wasn’t. The crazy thing was that I was in my bathroom wearing only boxers when it happened. That made it both incredibly lucky and hilarious, because not only could I quickly strip in the shower, I was facing the mirror so I actually got to see my shart-face as it happened, which is something I’ll remember for a long time. Not many people can say that.
The crazies college story I have is when we brought the entire staff of a Mexican restaurant back to our apartment. We went out to the restaurant for dinner. Two of my roommates used to be in a sorority, but were kicked out for partying too hard. It was one of these girls who convinced the dishwashers to follow us home. The dishwasher invited the cooks, who invited the servers. By the time we finished eating, we had the entire staff and one or two of our fellow diners caravan-ing it back to our tiny campus apartment. The bartender brought tequila and that is the last thing I remember. I woke up the next morning to a busboy making breakfast as my roommate sat at the kitchen table wrapped in a blanket.
TL/DR... My roommate and I got a train ran on us by the staff of a Mexican restaurant, but they made us food at least!