From guavo on the Funny Sites thread: "One of the few useful thing on twitter: http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays [Examples]: Son, people will always try and fuck you. Don't waste your life planning for a fucking, just be alert when your pants are down. That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them. Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you." Focus: 'Shit My Dad Says' is a goldmine of comedy. Find and post your favorites. Focus, Jr.: Just about everyone has that relative (dad, grandfather, crazy aunt, etc.) who's regularly says hilarious things. What are some of the funniest things you've heard from such people in your family?