Joran van der Sloot, of Natalie Halloway infamy, is at it again. "According to La Republica newspaper, van der Sloot said he broke Stephany Flores' neck after she grabbed his laptop without his permission and found out that he was involved in the disappearance of an American woman." http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37542848/ns/world_news-americas FOCUS: Discuss the mondo-douche-baggery that is van der Sloot and this insane story. ALT-FOCUS: What's the most insane thing you've done to someone for something innocuous? Ever push your Grandma down the stairs for putting raisins in the cookies? Trip a toddler down the stairs for stealing the last milk? Do tell.
All I can say is I'm impressed with the guy... she's got a hell of a neck. And listening to the Adam Carolla show this morning, he said that he also managed to convince his best friend's wife to have anal sex with him, while the friend/husband was just outside mowing the grass. Wow. Just wow. Mad props. Hope he gets dry anally raped in a Peruvian prison for years to come.
With what appears to be an Adam's Apple. Peruvian prison. My sphincter locked up just thinking about it.
I'll go ahead and call that he commits suicide before it gets to trial. "While Peru is one of nine countries in the world that does have the death penalty, it has many limitations. Peruvian law reads something to the effect that the death penalty may be considered, but only for crimes "committed in exceptional circumstances". This means that only crimes that are committed in times of war or genocide or crimes under military law can be considered as death penalty cases." He is expected to get 15-35 years, no way he will serve that.
His taste in women defiantly took a downhill turn. However, I guess when you are internationally known as a rapist and murderer it might be hard to get laid. FOCUS: I wonder if he will admit he killed Natalie Holloway and hope he gets extradited to the US to await death row. I’m not sure what I hope happens more, if he rots in a US cell for 15 years before being executed, or killed a week after he is placed in a South American general population jail. I’m assuming even though his dad is a judge, he will not have enough pull to get The Netherlands to let him serve there. Im glad that the Holloway family can sleep a little better knowing that fuck is off the streets.
Focus: His ears are going to make great handles for a few lucky Peruvian inmates. Alt. Focus: A few weeks ago, I was at a Korean restaurant when I saw a rat. In the dining room. On a table. Having already placed and paid for my order, there was a slight disagrement when I tried to cancel the order and get my money back. I'm not very proud of myself for telling an old Korean woman to "shovel that order up your ass.". In my defense, trying to get a refund from an old Korean woman is about as easy as trying to paint a cat. I eventually got my money under threat of the police getting called. When she tried to get rid of the rat, it took a chunk out of the broom handle she stabbed it with. I wanted to tell her she could keep the money if she killed it with one shot, but I chickened out.
His father died in February, no help from daddy on this one. Although if I remember correctly the father of the most recent victim ( that we know of, I'm sure there are more we will never know about ) is a prominent business man, I'm sticking to my suicide / contract hit from the father before trial.
I don't think he could be extradited to the US if he did admit to killing Holloway. That crime took place in Aruba.
Alt-Focus: It's not my own story (because I don't get angry easily, and am kind of a wimp anyways), but when I was in undergrad I knew a girl who admitted that she and a few friends abducted a guy, took him out to a field, stripped off his pants, and shoved a coffee stirrer straw up his penis. It was revenge for him cheating on their friend.
I was supposed to go to Aruba three months ago, where I planned to scope out locations for my ultimate retirement scheme. Start a Natalie Holloway tour! Unfortunately work happened, and I was not able to go, but I did have a girl going get picture in all the famous places (The Holiday Inn, Carlos and Charlies, the lighthouse, etc...). The pictures did make it look like a Damn fun time. Until I discovered that the Carlos and Charlies is now a Senor Frogs. That ruined my entire plan. That was going to be the Dinner stop on the tour. I mean, who in the fuck wants to eat dinner in a Senor Frogs?
Well sweet, Peruvian hit squad it is. ALT FOCUS: The military is a environment conducive to making you snap for no reason. Place a bunch of alpha males together, yell at them, deprive them of sleep, food, and punish them as a group. No such place of this, is as evident as basic training. It was mopping the floors of our bay during Army basic training so someone could come after and wax them. One guy walked across a place I had mopped that was still wet IN HIS SOCKS mind you (since boots were not allowed to touch the drill sergeants floor). This would not even make me bat an eye or think twice in normal life. What did I do? I picked up the mop and javelined it at him. Thank god it missed, and I realized I was being an ass, but still.
Here's to heavily salted meat, dysentery-infected aqua, and sharing it all with members of M13! I have a confession to make. I watched Nancy Grace the day the story broke because one of the entries from Fark.com was so fucking hilarious. I laughed, I cried, I kicked a stray cat. This guy is a straight up homicidal sociopath. I would not be surprised if had a couple of more girls on his scorecard. Anyways, when I was 14 my 10 year old sister hit me in the eye, whipping me the zipper end of an empty pillow case locker room style. I winced in pain, shock, and just started to cry. She laughed, I punched her in the fucking face like she just laughed at me crying. I apologized immediately, Vander Sloot may have handled it differently.
I'm guessing you meant worse and not worth, that's my point. He won't be in solitary on death row like the US, he would be in gen pop for a minimum of 15 years. Therefore he kills himself to avoid the punishment he would receive when he gets convicted.