I'm pretty sure I've broken my dick before (dislocated? fractured? bent? what do you call it?). About two years ago, I was pumping away like a jackhammer -- my go-to, and only, move -- when El Predator came out of her va-jayjay without me knowing it and I rammed it into that area between the vagina and the asshole. Turns out there is either a bone behind that no-go zone, or at least no fat to allow for "give," because the moment I hit that spot it felt like my dick was one of those crash-test dummies on a pneumatic sled going into a concrete wall. Unfortunately, no airbags were deployed. I immediately rolled off the bed and onto the floor, as if putting physical distance between my cock and the twitter (halfway between twat and shitter?) would somehow make it throb less. I'm pretty sure I could feel the internal bleeding at that point. While I was writhing in pain and praying to any god I thought might listen, my wife was whining about "you hurt me" and "it feels like you hit me with your dick." I didn't care though, because it was already turning dark blue. I have a learned fear of going to the hospital (thanks, PTSD!), and I'm sure one day this will do me in. And I really should have gone in this instance. Over about two weeks my dick went from your standard, deep blue-and-green bruise around the shaft, to that spreading to the rest of the sack and onto my stomach, to swelling, to being afraid to piss because it felt like I was streaming shards of glass out my urethra with a garden hose. I'm better now, and my dick still works in case you were wondering. But that day, was definitely not my day. It was like my wife and I had sex on the wrong side of the bed. Focus: Sexual mishaps, unexpected encounters in bed, bad performance days, etc.. We aren't here to judge or laugh at you, just with you. Tell your story and laugh with ours.