I'm attending a conference in a few weeks with my boss and my ultra-cunt coworker who has a chip on her shoulder the size of Texas. She's sweet as pie to your face if someone is watching, but is easily the most passive aggressive bitch I've ever met. I come from the school of accountability - if you made a decision, own it and stand behind it. She's the queen of "I'm going to give advice by telephone so nothing is in writing and I can't be held to anything". It drives me BANANAS. Anyway, I'm going to be at this conference with her for two days, including a cocktail reception, and I need some subtle but unkind things to say to her. Things like "Did you have a rough flight down? You look so... tired." or "Your daughter is what, 16? Gosh, I'll be in my forties when my daughter is a teenager. That seems like a lifetime away." or "It's not like the periodic table changes that much from year to year. I mean, back when you were in school, they probably only had four elements, but y'know..." (okay, that's not subtle) Focus: Help me out, TiB. No one knows insults like you fuckers.