Not too long ago, I saw this picture for the first time and it got me thinking. Focus: How much privacy do you expect in a relationship? How much is too much or too little? Are you someone that wants to know your SO's life story or do you enjoy not knowing that they once shat their pants during a bender? Alt-focus: Whats something that nobody (in real life) knows about you?
She and I are both pretty private, neither of us really walk around our place without any clothes on nor will we occupy the bathroom at the same time unless were brushing our teeth. Our place isn't tiny at 1200 sq ft, but it has 1 bathroom and personal space is at a premium so we try and give each other some privacy from time to time. Shell go and read a book in the guest bedroom with the door closed or take a nap in there. Or Ill watch Netflix on my iPad in bed while shes in the the living room wasting money on Rue La La. Bump.
The husband and I are intensely private people in most respects. There is no bathroom sharing, not even to brush teeth. There aren't fart jokes or toilet humour at all between us. Hell, I don't even like him seeing me without makeup on. We've been together for 10 years, so I feel like it's a boundary we can maintain. A secret no one "in real life" knows about? I have a rubber fist in a duffel bag hidden in my closet. For "me time".
I share mostly the same common-sense boundaries as the people above. It's easy at our house too because we have two full bathrooms so there's never any need for an issue. My wife is claustrophobic and we have a galley kitchen, so if I walk in when she's in there it takes about ten seconds before she wants to Karate. Boundaries should be easy for adults to comprehend, and are silly to argue over. Unless of course it's something worth interest, like "Don't open the padlocked room in the rear of the basement. The voice inside is a fucking liar."
My wife and I have no regular boundaries. We both walk around naked all the time. The only time we close the bathroom door is if the. Deuce one of us is dropping is so smelly it will disturb the other. We both like quiet solitary time, but she stays home with our son and gets a few hours when he naps and at night when I take over. I get my time really mornings and late evenings when they go to bed. What nobody knows about me? That's hard cause I don't keep secrets really. I guess the only thing that comes to mind would be that I started a fight in the 6th grade that got my buddy suspended for a day.
My girlfriend and I have a closed-door bathroom policy when we're together, and that's the biggest boundary I can think of. Brushing your teeth, makeup, etc. is fine but neither of us care to see the other on the toilet. For a couple of years I never farted around her until she dropped one, thinking it was funny. Big mistake. I don't really forsee any issues for when we move in together, whenever that happens. The one space that I really like to keep to myself is my workshop. After sitting all day in this cubicle and interacting with a bunch of people, in meetings, making calls, etc, I need some time alone. So, when I'm trying to be productive at my workbench I want to be left alone and undistracted. Mistakes happen when I'm not focused on the task at hand. In other words I should hang a sign outside the door that says "I'm working. Fuck off."
I don't have to set a boundary for my garage. She parks her car in there, otherwise she leaves me alone in there. That's why I moved my home brewery out there. "I'm making beer, leave me alone!" SGEDIT: Fixed quotes.
Door is closed during poop time. Poop time is alone time. He can't even poop while I'm showering. And don't talk to me while I'm pooping. We both walk around naked in front of one another, and fart jokes and potty humor rule. But pooping and tampons are the definite hard line.
Pretty much this for us as well. She pees and I can be the same room to pee, but if it involves poop or blood then that is door closed private time. Hell we farted in front of each other when we still 6 months into dating. 16 years later that shit just doesn't make either of us blink an eye. Well it might, but in a more literal smell based sense.
Bathroom is off-limits. Everything else is okay. She's a little insecure about walking around naked, but she likes it when I do it. Personal life wise, we know most of each other's life stories. However, it's taken a while, and we ask those questions with a lot of tact.
There is a reason I have 2 bathrooms in my house, my wife is only allowed to come in my bathroom if she wants to shower with me, and by shower with me I mean fuck me in the shower, otherwise she has here own space where she needs to handle any and all her shitting needs.
My wife and I have an on-going battle of trying to sneak onto the toilet to take a shit while the other is in the shower and doesn't notice. The humid, hot room amplifies the stench and it's the height of hilarity when she doesn't notice me sitting down and then a few seconds later ".... oh god jesus fuck man!!!" So yeah, not too many boundaries here. And by that, I mean, we're kinda dicks to each other. But it works.
Focus: I close the door to go to the bathroom, but I'm an open book with most other things. Alt-Focus: No one in my life knows what kind of porn I watch. I have a few friends who know I dig James Deen, but they don't know I watch the ones where girls get tied up.
I've tried sex in the shower with at least three different women and all I get is bruises and wet sheets once we relocate to a proper fuck zone. Seriously, if there is some secret to making shower sex enjoyable, please pass it on. Oh, yeah, on topic - closed door means stay the fuck out, else fine.
I find that "shower sex" works best as basically anything but actual vaginal intercourse. So making out and oral/digital dominate. If you then want to fuck in the traditional sense, best to move to the bedroom. Or at least the floor. My wife and I don't take a shit in front of each other and she is skittish around menstrual related matters, but aside from that, we're fine walking around naked and otherwise being near each other. Neither of us are particularly into gross out humor in the first place so that doesn't really come up. In a non-physical sense we know most things about each other and can ask about anything we'd like. I have a strict rule about her not going into my email/facebook/computer in general without asking first, but if she ever asked I'd be happy to show her anything (her knowing this is a helpful part of the trust building necessary for a non-strictly monogamous relationship). Basically, I share more with her than any other human being on the planet and we're pretty active about keeping each other informed about ourselves. Something no one knows? Hmmm... when I was 8 years old I read so many Greek myths that I started to believe they were real.
The secret to good shower sex is to have a shower with a bench and something soft to lean your knees into. Also, if you install a good curtain rod, she can use it to hold herself up while you pound her. My wife and I made an agreement to shower together on Saturday mornings when we first got married. We took a break when she was so pregnant we didn't fit. But I have some great ideas for shower designs to make it more functional for two people and to make sex more comfortable.
When my wife was pregnant she was still down for sex but the geometry of it all just didn't work out. Even though she can bend like a gymnast (and boy is that fun), I'm still about as flexible as a Lincoln Log cabin and I have osteoporosis to boot (so if I strain myself, something breaks; it's a non-negotiable law of nature). And then she had the gall to make fun of me while I was trying to figure out the angles, saying shit like "I knew your brain tumor knocked out your math, but I didn't know it also deleted your common sense!" Joke's on her though. As soon as she's over this post-birth bleeding and crap I think I'm gonna just tie her down and rage-fuck her for a few days.
I believe in boundaries and space. The bf and I don't shit with the other in the same room because it's disgusting. We both have disgusting humor but we draw the line there. I prefer doing girly shit like my hair and makeup without an audience, it's awkward to have someone watching me. It's hard to get privacy sometimes now that he's moved in with my roommate and I. I need my quiet time, hating people means you need a fucking break from ALL of them occasionally, and he's great about checking to make sure I want company. I do the same for him. I've managed to have great sex in the shower, it helps if you're both close in height it seems. Since I know a few of y'all in real life, I can't share my deepest, darkest secrets... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
We sleep, shower and walk around naked together every day but there's a bit of a double standard in our house. I can't even look at her when she's on the toilet but she will stare at me while talking when I'm pissing (like seriously right at my dick) and will ask me to pass her stuff if I'm tossing a shit. I don't know what the big deal is, I wouldn't care if she pissed in the shower with me in it.