The NURF Bow: Every single motherfucker I knew growing up had one and my mom would not allow it. She apparently told "Santa" not too as well. Thanks, cunt. Then when I was 9 my dad bought me an actual Red Rider BB Gun and I summarily blew my moms head off. Just kidding of course, but I did get the BB Gun just never the bow...
Nokia 3210! Instead Father Chrismas thought that being the only one of my friends not to receive one that Christmas was cool!
I was a child with low expectations who didn't like to ask for things. As a result, I almost always got what I asked for, seeing how I never asked for much. As I got older and became a typical wise ass teenage boy, I thought it was clever to give my parents a list that included one of these: Obviously I never got one. But I have to admit, after years of putting it on the list, it would have been cool to actually get one.
Focus: A Powerwheels car/truck. My mom refused, saying that they were too dangerous. Bitch. So of course I made sure to get one for Li'l Bandit when he was three.
When I was a kid, Schwinn 10 speeds were all the rage and I was due for a new bike, and that is what I asked for one Christmas. A Schwinn "English Racer" as they were called, in metallic emerald green. Couldn't have been any more specific. I got a white, Sear's 10 speed. Puma sneakers ("Clyde's") were the rage. I got canvas sneakers from Sear's that were supposed to look like Pumas. Kids can be so cruel. When my older brother asked for a scientific calculator (he would be going to college the following fall for engineering) and he got it, I asked if Sear's had run out of abacci. And they wonder why I hate this time of year.
So the NWO started in 1996, that means you would have been watching WCW and had your GI Joe base in the middle of the floor at age 19, at the youngest. Yeah I'll take the poorer upbringing (theoretically, I was a spoiled shit too).
I always wanted a pair of Reebok pumps, but my parents didn't have a couple hundred bucks to spend on gimmick shoes. So I got a pair of LA Gear Pumps and a healthy does of ridicule.
My parents would never get me these damn things. They even got me an Atari system and games (which was 120 bucks new back in the day). But they would never get me Legos.
I really wanted a Powerwheels car, and I asked for it a few Christmases in a row. My parents either thought I would kill myself or it was a complete waste of money that would end up in the garage after about 3 months (probably the latter). I was super jealous of my white trash cousins who each had one. Sure, their house smelled funny and they had store-brand Teddy Grahams, but they had Powerwheels, bitches!
I grew up in the 1980's the era of dangerous toys before parents collectively pissed their pants and let their nuts shrink back into their bowels. But guess what? Even with the cool shit my folks got me on Christmas, I was an only child which means I was under a domineering risk aversion policy. No unsafe toys in the 1980's would be like vowing celebacy in 1967. Lawn Darts. I WILL SELL YOU MY CHILD FOR A SET. Please, find them for me.
I got a set of Lawn Darts from my grandma as a kid, the real metal ones. I'm not sure that they were from Christmas, but deep down she must have hated me enough to buy them for me at some point. As far as what I never got for Christmas? Giant Lego sets were always on my list. Sure, I had plenty of small and medium sets, but the huge pirate ship sets or space sets were awesome back then and I never got my hands on them.
Only a couple of times I remember actually wanting something specific for Christmas: -Wanted Nerf mini-golf, got some shitty knockoff instead. Wasn't too bummed about it though. -Wanted an NES and got it. -Wanted a SNES and Final Fantasy II and got that. Since I tended to only specifically ask for things I knew I was going to enjoy for a long time my parents were pretty cool about filling my wish list. They were pretty smart too; they'd ask me in like September what I would want for Christmas and every few weeks up until the middle of December, so anything I wasn't constantly repeating to them they knew not to waste money on because they figured I'd enjoy it for all of 5 minutes before losing interest.
I told my sister that if she got a pony, I was going to feed it to MY pet: Spoiler What I got, instead: Spoiler I stopped believing in Santa the next year. Spoiler I will have me one of these adorable little fuckers if it kills me. My family gets new pets at Christmas, for some reason.